To refuse to allow my 12 yo DD to travel unaccompanied?

[ItsDecisionTime]

As part of a pending contact order, ExP who lives in the USA, is asking that our 12 year old DD travels as an unaccompanied minor on her flights from the UK to US (to save him the time and cost of collecting her). It goes against all my parenting instincts on the basis that if anything had to happen on those flights, it would be everyone for themselves. I know people do allow their kids to travel alone but for me, that's just lazy parenting and something I'd only consider in an absolute emergency. She has only just started going into our town on her own but only when she is with a friend. Personally, I can't even contemplate what kind of father would even push for it in court when he knows I'm so set against it.

OP take no notice of your ex's legal representative. She was just doing her job. Most of these people are just like very bad actors.

If you meet her again do not engage in conversation unless your own representative is present.

So, I just spent £600 for 3 hours of my solicitor's time for absolutely nothing.

Don't think of it like that. Your solicitor has now gained some valuable arguments in relation to your ex's unreliability for future use. Think of it as an investment, worth every penny.

I don't see why on earth your DD needs a guardian appointed but in the unlikely event the court decided to do that, I can't imagine you would have anything to to worry about. Your DD is old enough to make her views clear, and it sounds as though she will be able to do exactly that.

Depends entirely on the child. I'd let my son do it, but don't think I'd let my daughter (purely down to him being more confident than her) How does your daughter feel about it?

OP, your ex is an arse. Your DD needs to have a voice about what she wants to do. There is no sisterhood, the batrister was doing her job. You need to get more savvy, and less emotional, to maximise your potential to get what your DD wants/

However, on the flying issue that you are definitely YABU. Thousands fly UM and it's a great system, which works. In my youth, i had a blast flying independently. I flew by myself 6 times a year and it was a ball.

DD is very happy to have her own representation. In fact she's looking forward to it except for the guardian bit - she wasn't happy being treated as a "child" last time we met with CAFCASS, but she was only 9! She's extremely mature for her age (and very tall so looks and acts more like a 14 year old) and is not the type of child to exaggerate the facts because it's more interesting. So, yes, ExP is going to get a shock and if he has any sense, he'll climb down from his ridiculous stance prior to DDs opinion being heard in court.

I have compromised on the return leg of the trip and said I'm happy for her to return home on her own as I know I can be relied on to check check check the details and be there for her when she returns. ExP cannot and has just proved it.

I did learn a big lesson through that nasty little encounter. As one of you pointed out before capitulation through provocation is easier than showing ExP in a good light because, believe me, she has her work cut out on that one!

Op, well done.

You have shown yourself reasonable in your compromise and caring about her safety re pick up the other end.

Good luck with the next stage. As others have said, say nothing to ex p's representTive unless yours is there.