To think doing a poo is the least sexy thing in the world and therefore not understand how anyone can enjoy anal?

[AmadeusRocks]

That really. I've heard it feels like doing a poo backwards...... Sounds grim to me!

This is hilarious!

Blimey, that cement link... So the man was admitted to hospital (sober), in tremendous pain. Digital examination revealed what he'd been up to. How on earth did he not think to mention it?!

Maybe the next Mumsnet Guide/book could be a guide to anal sex.

We could have a chapter on center parcs, advice about rimming, fisting. Top ten lube list. Guide to how to clean out beforehand, what to do if you get poo under your nails, etc.

I can just see it on the shelves in Waterstones now.

When my friend was a nurse, they had a repeat offender. He came in 3x with deodorant canisters up there (and this was before they compressed them!), another time with a bicycle pump up, and another with a remote control.

I'm wondering if the Anal Defence League would calm down, if offered tea and biscuits.

I give you all my all time favourite bum sex related true story.

very tragic though as she died

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2978052/Toilet-brush-blunder-death.html

Pissing myself at the ADL

I don't understand the one viva. It was lodged in the flesh of her buttocks and not in her anus? How?

What is 'douching?'

Thank you for asking, ODearMe, I wanted to know that too...

Shower up the bum ODear? or something like that.

But wouldn't it need to be 'under pressure'?

The toilet brush went up her anus, then there was an internal injury into her buttock. So from the outside her bum looked normal.

Digital exam couldn't find it as it wasn't by now in her anus. Didn't show up on X-ray as it was plastic. Poor woman spent years telling people she had a bog brush handle up her arse and everyone just said she'd been so drunk she didn't have a clue.

My God, I'm missing out!

Oh dear..cat tampons....gnomes with wheelbarrows.....this is comedy genius....made all the more funny because I'm trying desperately to snigger silently so as not to wake up children on a rainy campsite. Of course that just makes it impossible! I'm now actually crying tears of laughter and probably waking up the whole field of kids.....I officially love mumsnet!

I love the irony of a nn VivaLeBeaver having a favourtie bumsex-related story.

(easily pleased)

This thread is amazing

bumsex local ha ha ha ha.

I'm a bit disappointed this hasn't made it into discussions of the day. And that ^^ should be the title.

Garden Gnomes

concrete

cats. Whatever next

Hi everyone! My name's Dave and rather than look at the MASSES of free porn elsewhere on the Internet I have come to Mumsnet! I'm wanking right now. Nothing turns me on more than people not really describing anal sex. Thanks Mumsnet.

eeeeuw, I know you are miles away, but I've never been so TRAUMATISED.

Jaysus, I've just snorted tea out of my nose badblueeyeliner

Arf at "Dave" - this thread is inspired....

On a completely unrelated but slightly related note, congratulations OP on the birth of your baby - hope things are going well!

who needs breakfast TV

I love the fact that, in that story, a psych referral was suggested and declined. I would have thought that anyone who thinks pouring wet concrete up their arse was in fairly urgent need of such a referral.

Viva - 'Fell'?!? There is a whole other story there isn't there?