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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think doing a poo is the least sexy thing in the world and therefore not understand how anyone can enjoy anal?

323 replies

AmadeusRocks · 29/05/2013 16:58

That really. I've heard it feels like doing a poo backwards...... Sounds grim to me!

OP posts:
Tweasels · 29/05/2013 20:50

Ha ha, that's a relief Akiss. I doubt many of us will be up for any "double fisting up to the elbow". Especially not on a Wednesday.

My garden gnome has a wheelbarrow. I'd need more than Tampax to sort that mess out Grin

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2013 20:51

OMG are they putting fish up there too Lying?

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2013 20:52

Oh, they do

Tweasels · 29/05/2013 20:59

Ha ha. I bet he had an eely good time.

AnyFucker · 29/05/2013 21:02

Bizarre thread Grin

ComposHat · 29/05/2013 21:07

From friends who've worked in A&E and as paramedics, many things weirder than a fish have been shoved up a human anal passage. My personal favourite, a full set of Carmen Rollers.

ComposHat · 29/05/2013 21:08

By which I mean favourite story,not my favourite item to be inserted.

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/05/2013 21:10

I think wet concrete has to be the worst. Obviously it set up there and expanded. Think the bloke may have died. At least garden gnome man is still alive.

IKnowWhat · 29/05/2013 21:11

Regardless of what I was reading and how recently I had given birth Confused I still think this is a weird subject to start a thread about.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/05/2013 21:13

Sparkling... can't type. Fisting obviously, although I think I'd prefer the fish, a bit softer. Blush

I can't believe I'm on this thread... Grin

ComposHat... the Carmen rollers - in their container or inserted one by one? Shock

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 29/05/2013 21:15

And were the Carmen rollers heated when they went in?

Ouch!

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 29/05/2013 21:15

A kiss, noooooo Shock

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2013 21:15

I always remember that junior doctors programme where the bloke had inserted a loo brush bristles first and they had to get it out. He said he slipped and fell in the bathroom.

AmandaPayneNeedsANap · 29/05/2013 21:15

Dear God. Wet concrete? Why?

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2013 21:16

An indeed how?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 29/05/2013 21:17

I can't explain why I am laughing out loud to DH. He might get ideas.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 29/05/2013 21:17

Barbie dolls seem quite common but apparantely their arms open once inside and they get stuck.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/05/2013 21:17

Must have been a sort of 'handstand' and somebody helpful standing by with a jug of cement...?

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2013 21:18

I think a funnel maybe?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 29/05/2013 21:18

My friend's daughter knew an A&E nurse who dealt with a guy who shoved a rocket up his arse on Bonfire Night and lit it.

NoelHeadbands · 29/05/2013 21:20

Surely if you've been housing garden gnomes on a regular basis, a tampon would be akin to trying to stem the river Ouse with a cotton bud Confused

I suppose wet concrete would solve the incontinence issue

ComposHat · 29/05/2013 21:20

one by one?

I believe so, I am not sure if they were heated or not!

usualsuspect · 29/05/2013 21:21

oh my

ComposHat · 29/05/2013 21:22

They must be using cats as fucking tampons

Words I never thought I'd see written down together to form a sentence.

AnyFucker · 29/05/2013 21:25

I am wheezing

I haven't wheezed for years.