"If my son was a dog, I'd put him down"

[PoppyAmex]

Yes, I know IBU for reading Daily Mail links, but I just don't understand where they get people like this woman from.

I'm pregnant at the moment and this article really made me sad, it's just so undignified for everyone involved.

here

I wonder how the DM did actually come by her....does anyone know? Genuine Q, not a rhetorical one.
Dayshift, Mrs DV, let's say someone suggested you make a similar shocking comment or series of comments, because it would ultimately make things better for you and others in similar circs.... Would you do it? Or would you see through it/see it as a cheap betrayal?
Another genuine Q - I absolutely don't want to offend or upset.

Am I allowed to answer this? I would never say such a thing, that incentive would not sway me for a second.

Ok, ZZZZ.
I'm wondering if she's been manipulated into it, you see. Or if she's so ground down and isolated, with no time to read newspapers and so on, that she has no idea about the real impact of her words. Her words might have shocked SS into action, say, 20 years ago, but now they're just a (as said by MRS DV), a lurid strapline and fodder for an ultra right wing agenda.

Her comments wont make ANY difference mim - the issues are massive and complex...

My son is high functioning ASD he doesn't even meet thresholds for the majority of support and I know families who kids certainly DO meet the criteria for direct payments, a SW, etc and what they are finding is that they are being reassessed, they are losing support or being told they no longer fit the criteria.

Every facet of what our children need to access has been affected by cuts and reform; education, social care and the NHS...

All that her comments will do is reinforce the idea that children's situations are worsened by the behaviour and choices that the parents make... and whilst the powers that be can blame the parents they dont have to consider what they need to do to change the children's situations and potential outcomes.

How did the DM come across her - the story has been out there for about a week - she published her story but not sure of how / where as i picked it up through a FB group - Jeremy Vine was talking about it the same day she was on This Morning (22 may) and the story had come out the day before

Thanks for answering, Dayshift. This is what I'm driving at....has she been encouraged to say all this because she's been deliberately and falsely led to believe that a good old fashioned shock-horror line will raise awareness/get more help? When in actual fact she's doing herself and others like her and her son a massive, and pre-calculated, disservice.

I hate feeling invisible on a thread.

Sorry, Thornrose....a mixture of crossed posts and Beecham's cold remedy has outfoxed me.
Why would you not do it?

Oh god how I regretted posting that, I'm an idiot, sorry.

No worries! It must have looked like I was ignoring you.

This does hit home for me as a lone parent to a dd with AS who has being spectacularly violent towards me over the last 3 days.
I would never be persuaded or enticed to believe that talking about my deepest, darkest feelings would make any kind of change to the support (or lack of) offered to children like ours.
I'm wary of even telling CAMHS and SW about the depths of our despair as inevitably my parenting will be brought to task.

Whatever the offer was (if there was an offer) is irrelevant... the exchange was for her child's privacy and dignity. She has failed to protect her child's basic right and worse still she has done that to an incredibly vulnerable child.

And going back to my original support 'I hope he gets the support he needs for the future'

Note the support he, the child needs...

Do you feel the same way as the mum in the article, then? Is the only difference between her and your feelings that you're more media-savvy and can see beyond just your situation to a wider agenda?

hmmmm, shit article but as a parent & a parent of a disabled child I really cannot see how you can possibly draw a comparison to having a pet put to sleep.

I have sympathy in that she is obviously struggling but honestly I feel much more sympathy for her son.

That was to Thornrose.
I agree, Dayshift, she's sold him out. I'm just wondering what's prompted or encouraged her.

It is an execrable article.

Thornrose - feel free to PM me - I am a single parent to a son who is challenging and its so hard.

CAMHS were really good to me and so were SS - they understood that whilst I had those frustrations, I explored them in a safe way and didnt act on them but yes I still feel worried about being upfront. However what I have found is that professionals who have been involved with us share my frustrations at times (lol sometimes I am coping better than them) and are unsurprised by it... the issues come if you bottle it up then it blows up in your face (I have done that too!).

Dont despair - its half term and the lack of structure gets to our children even more so than the frenetic activity of school - a great big unMN hug

Oh dear god no, I'm clearly not expressing myself.

Thanks dayshift, I need to go to bed, I'm tying myself up in knots and not saying what I really mean

Ok, it's late and I'm probs not expressing myself well either!
I meant do you feel as despairing as the article mum, but daren't say anything because you worry about a blame/victimisation agenda?

Mim dont be confused between the despair that is felt at times by parents of children with additional needs and this woman's statement that her son should be put down... they are distinctly different things and I did not read in Thornrose's post that she wanted the choice to put her child to sleep

The media and this woman have made the connection perhaps in an attempt to justify comments that actually only belong to a era that saw Jews killed in their millions by men with very similar views.

Thornrose said this upthread:

^I feel at the end of my tether today but then this thread came along. It has reminded me that I love my dd and I will continue to support her and stand by her and never, ever let her feel like I'm not on her side.
However bad I feel, my dd fights every day of her life just to get by and "fit in" and she's bloody amazing (except when she bloody hits me)^

Does that sound like a woman that shares the view that 'if my son was a dog I would have him put down' such as Jenny Young has

I agree zzzzz, I've never felt that my life would be better without my children, or that I wanted pity or admiration.
Most of what I share, here and in other places is the positives, or the strange moments rather than the despairing.
I have occasionally wished for a Klingon Disrupter to use on random members of the public, and politicians and journalists and...
But I can only speak for me, I'm uncomfortable guessing at the mindset and possible motives of the mother in this case.
I hope her son gets the care he needs when she's finally unable to cope, but I doubt it, especially if he doesn't have anyone to speak for him, or fight for his rights as a human being.

I'm despairing today!
I have only one child and she has AS. Yes she is violent at times and challenging but I absolutely love the very bones of her. She drives me to the depths of despair but she is my child and I will fight tooth and nail for her.
I daren't admit to the professionals how bad I feel because they panic and think I'm not coping. I don't feel in any way like this woman thank god.