"If my son was a dog, I'd put him down"

[PoppyAmex]

Yes, I know IBU for reading Daily Mail links, but I just don't understand where they get people like this woman from.

I'm pregnant at the moment and this article really made me sad, it's just so undignified for everyone involved.

here

Wouldn't that be great, Star, to be able to say 'stop' like in an ice-cream shop?
Along the lines of
'OK, I'm a single parent with two children, one with SLD and on the spectrum, and my relatives think it's all down to bad parenting, and I have a sick dog and a diabetic mother who doesn't look after herself...so I don't think I want the option of a bolshie landlord and a shitty area to live in and I don't need the migraines.'

Maryz, I did a restraint course, because I knew I could control him if necessary, but I couldn't do it without damaging him. Serious damage.
It's weird to pin your raging child to prevent him harming himself, you or others and be crying silently at the same time as trying not to rip his ligaments.
Wonder how many parents of NTs have had that experience.

Goblin and others, reading these stories of SN children definitely puts a lot of toddler tantrums I've experienced into context. Strength to everyone who has to cope with this.

Zzzzz, what a great description that mothers/women absorb this, you have a way with words.

Can't say I took to her either, but the articles tone is still horrible

What a heinous reporter. The Daily Mail ought to receive some kind of penalty for purporting to give information and then producing this tripe. To top it off, this journalist seems to think (a) she was being quite subtle (b) she's been appointed counsellor/philosopher/God. I expect she'd think a nuance was a pack of nuns.

Reporting the news objectively is worthwhile and moral. Telling the nation who to despise while taking the moral high ground and behaving so unprofessionally is in itself something to despise.

Does the daily mail have any conscience at all, I wonder.

faberge I totally agree; I honestly don't know how they get away with it, but as someone pointed out up thread they are selling newspapers so someone is buying...

The journalist who wrote this shit should be put down. I knew before even reading the article that the headline was a quote completely taken out of context.

I can't imagine how hard it must be for any parent of a child with special needs that require you to protect yourself from physical harm.

The poor woman must be bloody shattered. With any luck, there may be some good that comes out of this piece of turd article, and she might be able to get some help.

Why the big focus on ADHD in this shitrag of an article?
Only a glancing mention of Ryan's other difficulties.
The journalist (ahem) that daubed this rubbish onto paper is a bit behind the times with his/her attitude towards ADHD.

Encouragingly, the top-rated comments after this piece of shite were supportive of the mum, which surprised me. That's something, I suppose.

i thank God everyday that my the child he blessed me with is fine and has no disability issues or behavioral issues, but then all children are special and amazing aren't they, especially when they're your own.Therefore I do not think I have the right to judge I actually feel sorry for this poor mum she must be beyond exhausted and I don't doubt for one second she adores her son.

As the saying goes don't judge anyone until you've walked in their shoes and even then you can't judge as we all react differently don't we. xxx

I think she's at the end of her tether, but faced with the prospect of appearing on TV saying (and I'm putting in my DM lenses now) "I hate my son, I want to get rid of him, just like I got rid of my three husbands...." she felt the need to appear reasonable by saying "....he's not that bad now....".
I've said similar about DD (the not that bad now bit!) after I've had a rant about her.
She's four and NT, just a phenomenal gobshite and human dynamo, and she's worn us down at times, although obvs nothing like Ryan.

As an ADD adult, this article's pissing me off no end. It's no reason not to have children (although DD did ask a v old lady on the bus when she was going to die earlier today.....).

This eugenics business is giving me the shits.

I haven't read the Daily Mail article as the DM makes me want to swear and throw things but I did read another article a couple of weeks ago (?guardian) and watch her on This Morning...

i have a child with challenging behaviours and ASD... I am physically hurt by and so are others, usually at school... his treatment of other has resulted in them requiring hospital attention on 2 occasions.

I am at the stage where I have said to my son that if he hurts me again I will call the police as he is nearly at a point where he could seriously hurt him, in fact he tried to push me down the stairs.

We get no support other than his school and some autism support... its down to me and I am a single parent.

There is no way on this god's earth that I would go on National television and say that if my son was a dog then I would have been allowed to put him down...

I have felt really frustrated and scared of him, I have wanted it to just all go away but when I voice it I do it to the appropriate people who will support and guide me... There is NO WAY on this earth that I ever want my child to be recognised by the wider community as a violent animal or be put in the situation of being able to google him own name in 10yrs time to read his own mother thought of him in this way.

That child has rights and in my opinion that mother is putting her own needs above those of her son... his learning disability should not be used as a reason why its ok to do this (because he can't read / has lowered awareness) but actually should make us, as a society be more concerned for him as he can not and may not ever be able to consent for his name to be used in this way.

This is not raising awareness because its a message that I, as a parent in a similar position, wants no part of... it sends out negative messages and it reinforces stigma of our challenging children...

I hope that her son has support for his future.

It's possible she's worried that he will not get some support for his future, Dayshift. She just feels totally on her own.

Do you think, Mrs DV, that she's been led to believe that her shocking statement would galvanise people into Doing Something To Help when in fact all it's done is to help to normalise the eugenics/euthanasia debate?

I posted on the SN boards earlier tonight about my 13yo dd with AS attacking me physically and verbally abusing me. I've been on the verge of calling the police but my dd would find that terrifying.
I feel at the end of my tether today but then this thread came along. It has reminded me that I love my dd and I will continue to support her and stand by her and never, ever let her feel like I'm not on her side.
However bad I feel, my dd fights every day of her life just to get by and "fit in" and she's bloody amazing (except when she bloody hits me)

Yes I agree with MrsDeVere. Although the article is bizarre and she may well have been misquoted, or her comments may have been taken out of context. Once you start talking about physically challenging behaviours a lot of people take an NT viewpoint - and that's not appropriate.

My son can be physically challenging, but I object strongly to anyone describing him as aggressive or violent. He isn't. He has no desire to hurt anyone, but with severe autism cannot always (esp with teenage hormones) self regulate. He is learning how to cope with his new emotions but it takes time to learn.

I have been very clear with SS about the things they can do to help prevent meltdowns (and people being hurt) and if their lack of action leads to people being hurt I tell them (and my MP and anyone else who will listen). As a strategy that is better imo that presenting a weird story in the Daily Mail which is largely 'poor me', hidden behind some sort of supposed awareness raising via some journo who frankly hasn't a clue.

Although I do realise she may have been horribly misquoted.

What was interesting, though, was the amount of supportive comments below the POS article. They weren't in favour of what she said, but one in particular asked why she wasn't getting more outside support. It's unfortunate, however, that these reasonable people will probably be swamped by knobheads asking why she had #4 after the other three had ADHD. By the sound of the piece, her older three have gone on to make a decent fist of it, so I guess she thought it couldn't be all that bad.

It's possible she's worried that he will not get some support for his future, Dayshift. She just feels totally on her own.

Aren't we all Mim - I can't even begin to tell you how bad it's been but the difference is I joined other parents and formed a support group, I go on training courses, I have a befriender and may become one myself one day, I am parent governor, I take part in parent forums....

Its not perfect but atleast i has not vilified my own child in public...