"If my son was a dog, I'd put him down"

[PoppyAmex]

Yes, I know IBU for reading Daily Mail links, but I just don't understand where they get people like this woman from.

I'm pregnant at the moment and this article really made me sad, it's just so undignified for everyone involved.

here

If her son has ADHD why couldn't she get a diagnosis on the NHS? I found that strange. When ds was assessed for Aspergers it was all on the NHS.

I assume she resents the life she could have had if she didn't have her son but doesn't seem to mourn the life she would have had if she hadn't also had her three older children. I find that a bit odd. I completely understand the loss of career upset but that happens to (mainly) mothers of NT children too.

She seems pretty media savvy in actively promoting her viewpoint so I imagine the DM journo has written the article she (the mother) wanted her to write.

so I imagine the DM journo has written the article she (the mother) wanted her to write.

Oh yes, I am sure she wanted to be portrayed as irresponsible, and that ADHD was all made up to cover up the fact that she is a crap parent.

'I completely understand the loss of career upset but that happens to (mainly) mothers of NT children too.'

there is absolutely no comparison - a mother of an NT child has many options for childcare

I've no doubt she COULD get a dx on the nhs, but waiting lists are LONG and the little help, support or sometimes even the fending off of social services requires a faster path to diagnosis.

It took 2 years of full steam ahead, with phonecalls several times a week from me to get my ds appropriately assessed for a dx on the nhs, and most other parents tell me I was 'lucky'.

'I completely understand the loss of career upset but that happens to (mainly) mothers of NT children too.'

Totally different planet you're on there.

Sorry Fanjo if I've upset you but I think you have the wrong end of the stick. Perhaps it was my clumsy wording. To be clear, I wasn't expressing empathy at you (or this lady in question or anyone else, for that matter) having a child with SN, just expressing empathy that some parents of children with SN might find certain things challenging.

Won't click the link, but can I just point out to minifingers that there are a lot of genetic conditions that share similar dysmorphic features with those charateristis of fetal alcohol syndrome, so may be best to hold off on suppositions from people's appearances.

It's not just loss of career either. It is loss of choice, of opportunity of the right to 7 hours sleep a night, the right to 5 seconds of silence to think about what shopping to get in, a day out, a day off, absolutely no opportunity to change your outcomes and life.

Mothers of NT children not only have options but their situation is temporary. They are doing childcare but many can also retrain, develop a hobby for future income and career, network, socialise, build support systems, join babysitting circles, exercise, watch a tv programme all the way through.

I don't think it takes a massive leap of imagination to recognise this.

I feel only compassion for this woman. Her life sounds incredibly difficult and she is not getting enough help. It is very difficult to understand for people that are not in this position but she is clearly at the end of her tether.

The loss of career is not the same at all for mothers of NT children nd children with SN. Not the same at all.

When I had DS1 I was back at work 6 months later.
After DS2 I never returned. It's impossible.
I will never work again. I had a good career I loved.
I had to give it up forever. Unless someone has the number of a childminder who will take a 17 year old boy who has a mental age of about 4.

So no, not the same at all.

From experience and reading on MN, there are many parents being regularly physically assaulted by their children, SN or not. There is absolutely no support or respite for them at all. It is always heartbreaking to hear the stories of these parents.

There are some classic comments on this thread zzzz.
Even after all these years, I'm still caught by surprise sometimes.

Goblin I remember Riven; she is an amazing woman. I can't think of her without getting "the rage" about David Cameron.

What they've done to this country is nothing short of criminal, all in the name of economic crisis when we really know it's their ideology all long.

Riven is awesome

Riven is indeed excellent. I loved her interventions on handbag threads

Dreadful article, but I think the mother has lost the plot a bit as well & agree with fanjo about the comments on here.

I have a severely autistic teenager with challenging behaviours with the 'mental age' (which I always think is a stupid way of putting it) of a 2 year old so am allowed to be appalled by the journalist & the mother!

I guess I must be the only one to wonder why the diagnosis of herself and her four children was not available on the NHS. Is it a postcode lottery thing? When we were going through the process with ds we found the NHS very supportive indeed. But then that has been the same for the various medical professionals ds has seen.

Those that have commented on my loss of a career point have missed the point I was trying (poorly) to make. She managed with her younger children but is only bemoaning her 'loss of career' with her youngest. That is one of the points I don't understand in this article.

From the interviews she has given she seems clued up where the media are concerned so I wonder whether she had editorial input for this article. She has got her point across. People will put their own views and interpret it in their own way. I didn't interpret it as her being irresponsible. Lots of people with non-NT dcs cope with lots every day and for every person that copes or doesn't cope their experience is unique.

Sorry Starlight I missed you'd answered my NHS diagnosis point. I guess it does depend where you live then. We were lucky as from birth ds got the care he needed and when it was needed without waiting more than 2 weeks to see whichever professional he needed.

It's so sad that you get to the point where that's what you feel. It must be totally draining and there's so little help out there.

Then it must be to do with the PCT. Ds had extensive on-going care from various healthcare professionals from birth until about 5 and we really never had to wait long. He had a permanent 6 weekly appointment with his consultant but other professionals like phsyio and cons paed for possible Aspergers, orthopaedic, hearing, sight, scans etc were only 2 weeks for each initial appointment (from date of request) plus other various issues too. That was the longest we waited.

I do appreciate that unlike the child in the article ds will lead an independent life and his health issues will not affect that.

Lots of people with non-NT dcs cope with lots every day

Yes. So take one of them and give them a child with severe SN ON TOP and you're getting close. The shits of life don't pass you by just because having a child with SN is enough to deal with on its own.

The article is so judgemental, so sneery and just vile, as if it is all her fault. Horrible piece, completely lacking in empathy.