to be pissed off at seeing a pregnant woman smoking yesterday?

[topsi]

Am not sure what goes through some people's minds? WHY??

Because schrowsaw-low birth weight is a documented occurrence in smokers.If ypu yourself were a low birth weight baby then you are far more statiscally likely to have a low birth weight child.
I dont think thats necessarily true.I was 3lb born full term and my ds1 was 8lb12,ds2 was 8lb 10,ds3 was 9lb 2,ds4 was 9lb 13 and ds 5 was 8lb 12.Im a non smoker who wont let anyone smoke in my house because my childrens health is paramount.Not my needs or wants they should come first.

PrettyFly For what its worth, I do feel very much for you, and for the situation you are watching unfold. I can't imagine how helpless and full of anger that would make me feel.

Dub I was 6lb14oz at past term. DS was 6lb1oz after being induced at 38+2 (their dates which were changed a few times, my dates were 36+5). A growth scan estimated him being 9 and a half pounds at due date.

was it on that skint program?

I thought the whole point of AIBU was to be super judgey about everything. I remember a very judgey thread about gel nails (which personally I love - especially picked them off!)

I have a huge objection to people (pregnant or otherwise but most of them are pregnant) who smoked right outside the doors of our local delivery suite. The cloud was so strong it was like being on "Stars in their eyes". I was less bothered about their babies but didn't really like inhaling it for mine.

dubstarr - the phrase statistically means on average. It doesn't mean it is always true!

MummytoKatie, you obviously had a baby in Margate (like me)

My Mum smoked ALLLLLL the way through her pregnancy with me and my sister. We are both fine. Neither is asthmatic, thick, smokes or makes her feel like crap about it.

It is not your business - nor is it anyone else's.

We know it's not ideal, but wouldn't the world be great if every one was as perfect as you undoubtedly are, eh?

YABU.

Owllady - I nearly did, but ended up at the other one.

lovely girl of about 19 who was in the bed next to me kept going outside for 'some fresh air' approximately every hour and a half all day...I knew, she knew, the MWs knew it was a euphemism but no one said anything.

I guess it was her choice. Fantastic mum she seemed to be but it made me quite sad.

YANBU for thinking it's harmful, but YABU for judging.

I smoked when pg with DS2. I felt ashamed, embarrassed and was frequently in tears about it, but just couldn't quit. I saw the stop-smoking midwife, who gave me patches, but then she failed to turn up for my next two appointments with her and, when you have psyched yourself up to attempt to quit an addiction, that was a big blow. (I reported her FWIW) Anyway, I managed to give up for 3 weeks mid-pregnancy, but then started again and the shame, anxiety etc were huge, and reading judgey comments like the ones above would not have helped. I knew the risks and they terrified me. I never thought that my rights came above DS2. But I couldn't quit and stay quit.

I am now on day 7 of a very determined quit attempt, but I have to say that reading this thread has not helped me with my resolve. Rather, it has made me feel like an insignificant little worm who loves to harm her children. Thanks for the boost.

No judgment on smoking in pregnancy here. Just commenting to add (the MN favourite) that anecdote does not equal data. Smokers are more likely to have low birth weight babies, you can say that you didn't but it doesn't change the facts. People should be aware of the risks, just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean that it could happen to anyone else.

This whole 'my mum smoked all the way through pregnancy' or 'I'm of the generation when everyone smoked' arguments are completely spurious.

If everyone just did as the previous generation did without assimilating new medical/scientific knowledge into their behaviour there would still be cocaine in Coke and doctors would still be sticking us with leeches when we got sick.

As to the obesity argument - it's actually quite difficult to conceive if a woman is dangerously obese. Furthermore quitting smoking is a matter of quitting. It's not easy by any means but it is simple. Whereas unfortunately a large number of overweight people really don't know how to lose weight (thanks to the food industry's dreadful labelling practices - but that too is another thread...)

ahhh OrlaKiely My husband still, 6 years on, cannot get over the excitement at the sight of my placenta being non gritty and you can tell she didn't smoke! comments :o

BamBam I'm very sorry the thread has made you feel that way. Even if I am on the side of the anti-smokers, I would never want to belittle anyone's attempt to give up smoking. Stay strong and I hope you last the course.

What a load of crap Marzipanned.
If you can stop an addiction like smoking, you can also eat healthily and lose weight.
IMO, the latter is easier, and it's nothing to do with food labelling.

Good luck BamBam. Another one here who struggled to quit on and off throughout my pg even with support. Well done for your 7 days smoke-free, you're doing really well. Remember just to take it one cigarette at a time.

(FWIW I do agree that comments like "I quit cold turkey, so how hard can it be/If I can do, anyone can and anyone who doesn't is selfish" etc are incredibly unsupportive and have a very negative effect on people who are trying their hardest to quit)

OP YANBU but as others have said smoking in pregnancy is often defended as the mother's choice on MN. It's hard but certainly not impossible to quit and I speak as an ex smoker.

Thank you marzi. I am very determined to succeed.

My point was that making pg women feel like scum for smoking will not help them to quit. Neither will inept HCPs. If you had seen me smoking when pg you might have judged me as being uncaring and selfish, with no idea how I felt, thereby making me feel even worse, which would just have made me smoke more

LadyBeagle I'm afraid that's not the case. I've never been overweight so this isn't a personal thing, but I used to be on some PCOS forums and you wouldn't believe the number of women coming on saying 'oh I've seen these new low fat crisps in the supermarket, do you reckon they're ok on my diet?' And there are so many other so-called diet foods that are loaded with sugar - Special K springs to mind.

The information out there just isn't very good - see any number of the threads on the 'healthy' eating advice given to kids at school.

BamBam I mostly judge the pregnant women smoking outside the maternity hospital having a yap and a laugh while puffing away. They certainly don't appear very anxious, but you're right, I have no idea what's actually going on inside their heads.

Stopping smoking does not cause the kind of stress that harms a baby. To claim it does is one of the strangest justifications for poisoning a placenta and baby that I've seen. Smoking causes stress and doesn't alleviate it so there's no point in using stress as a reason.

I was a die hard smoker for years but gave up no problem when pregnant and have stayed off them. It is not hard. The addiction to nicotine only lasts a very short time which is why you get almost instantly an urge to smoke. If you smoke your last fag last thing at night, by the morning a great deal of nicotine will already be out of your system. You might have an uncomfortable few days but that's all. Just do it.

Owllady - no! Seems there is someone standing outside every labour ward so that we can all emerge through the fog saying "Tonight Matthew I'm going to be 7cm dilated!"

As to the obesity argument - it's actually quite difficult to conceive if a woman is dangerously obese. Furthermore quitting smoking is a matter of quitting. It's not easy by any means but it is simple. Whereas unfortunately a large number of overweight people really don't know how to lose weight (thanks to the food industry's dreadful labelling practices - but that too is another thread...)

That's making excuses and passing the buck completely.

No-one mentioned 'dangerously' obese anyway.

If you have a BMI of more than 30 and you are pregnant, you have an increased risk of health problems for both baby and mother.

Blaming the food industry is ridiculous, it doesn't impregnate women does it?

If women are to be expected to give up smoking before they TTC, they should be expected to lose weight too.

One shouldn't be pointing the finger at the other.

Whereas unfortunately a large number of overweight people really don't know how to lose weight

You could use that same argument for smokers.

As to the obesity argument - it's actually quite difficult to conceive if a woman is dangerously obese. Furthermore quitting smoking is a matter of quitting. It's not easy by any means but it is simple. Whereas unfortunately a large number of overweight people really don't know how to lose weight (thanks to the food industry's dreadful labelling practices - but that too is another thread...) Smoking is a matter of quitting...yes... and losing weight is a matter of eating less calories and exercising more in most cases.

HeffalumpTheFlump, I am not now, and have never been, a smoker. But I also do have some empathy with other women who are more than walking wombs.