to be pissed off at seeing a pregnant woman smoking yesterday?

[topsi]

Am not sure what goes through some people's minds? WHY??

[WorraLiberty]

Exactly everlong, they seem to be too busy pointing the finger away from themselves, at the ever decreasing amount of smokers.

Stones and glass houses come to mind.

[ApocalypseThen]

I just don't get it. Give a child squash - disgusting!! Macdonalds - unforgiveable!!

Yeah, if you don't see pregnant women as human beings with flaws and wants and desires and thoughts, I can see why it would be confusing.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

It's not too stressful at the moment. I do have support from my family (because the NHS cessation is crap and counter productive) and find it a lot easier going it alone.

I wasn't specifically talking about you btw quite aware everyone on here has heard me moan a million times :o

I didn't go to the police, well not yet. I never got any more messages and have scoured the net looking. Just couldn't face it at the moment but have kept all the messages and screen shots as evidence just in case.

[Solari]

If some people can't give up smoking to save their own life, then there is obviously more to it for some than just giving up 'a buzz'.

I agree that I wouldn't have much empathy for someone who didn't want to stop smoking for no other reason than it was her 'right' to, but I also can't tell that just by looking at someone who is smoking.

[Fedupofdiets]

I suppose the thing about obesity in pregnancy is that it isn't something the mum can instantly change in order to give the health benefits to the baby. Smoking is, a woman can chose to stop smoking they chose not to. Aren't you all good though for not judging

[charlove]

it really pisses me off to see that aswell. i will not "it's an addiction" as an answer. i smoked for over 10 years before i got pregnant (was a suprise baby so i hadn't even thought about quitting yet) but the second i saw that little blue line i chucked the fags and lighters in the bin and didn't even think about having one after that.

i just think when its not just you that is being hurt by your actions but also your little baby. then to continue smoking you must be such a weak, selfish and thoughtless person. if i can quit anyone can, case closed.

[5madthings]

Yabu as you have no idea what is going on in that persons life and also a so,an doesn't give up her bodily autonomy when she is pregnant, the unborn doesn't have rights ams for good reason.

You can not like it and not do it yourself and be as morally outraged as you like, assuming you are perfect and never do anything wrong?

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

No but you can instantly change the way you eat and look after yourself.

I've had a few friends that are really very overweight, get pregnant and then use it as an excuse to eat more junk and moan about MWs suggesting they change their diet or are completely insulted when anything about their weight is mentioned.

These same people would be on this thread saying out utterly selfish it is too smoke.

It's just not seen as much of a problem, even though it's more widespread.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

"if i can quit anyone can, case closed." And you know that how?

[Solari]

"If I can quit anyone can"

[5madthings]

Bollocks is it case closed, I got preg with ds1 at 19 and at uni and I did stop as soon as I knew I was pregnant but 9urs later having had post natal psychosis after ds4 I started again and then got preg, maintaining my mental health was more important to me and my children than not having the odd cigarette and my cpn, midwife and consultant agreed.

[WorraLiberty]

Fedupofdiets it's not about instant change...I'm not talking about accidental pregnancy. I'm talking about those who TTC.

Very rarely (if at all) have I seen a judgey pointy finger thread.

I've seen loads about smokers though.

[EugenesAxe]

YABU because you know nothing about her situation. But I think you knew that.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

Worra I have and it always massively comes down to being a discriminatory thread.

I pretty much wouldn't like to see a thread about any topic regarding what a pregnant woman should or shouldn't do while pregnant though. The smoking one is deemed perfectly fine though, along with any number of vile things said about women who do continue to smoke, regardless of circumstances.

[BenjaminButton172]

My sis had a planned pregnancy. She didnt even attempt to stop before, during or after pregnancy. Now she spends most of her day smoking while her child is dumped on someone else.

I will judge her all i want because she is selfish. My sister chooses to smoke. She smokes before she feeds her child even if its screaming, she smokes before she changes her child even though its nappy has leaked, she smokes before she gives her child a bath, she smokes before she puts her child to bed. She puts cigarettes before her child. I will judge because my dn is suffering.

[WorraLiberty]

Exactly Schro

I just get the impression that some people point the finger at easy targets, because it's easier than looking at themselves.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

I wonder if anyone who judges other women about what they do when pregnant actually give a damn about the health of the baby? I mean honestly?

If that was the case then Worra is right, surely there would be tons of threads about seeing women eat soft cheese, being obese and eating a mcdonalds, having a glass of wine, driving a car fucking breathing in the wrong place.

[BenjaminButton172]

Everlong - yes it is grim. No one is allowed to say anything to precious sis. Most days i want to shake her & tell her she doesnt know how lucky she is having a child.

[McNewPants2013]

when was the last time you seen a poster post this.

AIBU to be outraged by a pregnant women with her toddler with chicken pox

AIBU to to disguested with a pregnant women eating KFC

Aibu to think a pregnant women shouldn't be heavy lifting.

Smoking is an easy target on a women who is going through a life changing and vulnuable time of life.

[WorraLiberty]

everlong I mean I suspect there are/have been far more pregnant women with a BMI above 30 on Mumsnet, than pregnant smokers.

Therefore, pointing the finger at smokers instead of themselves may make them feel better?

I don't know, I'm just guessing but in everyday life I see far more overweight women than smoking women.

[ArgyMargy]

So Benjamin, have you ever asked your sister whether she wants to stop? Most smokers do, and yet they are addicts so can't just stop when they want. I have never been addicted to cigarettes but if you asked me to never have coffee, or carbs, or sugar ever again, I would certainly struggle. I would make up all sorts of reasons why I couldn't give them up, and convince myself that they don't really do as much harm as people say they do...

[WorraLiberty]

And McNewPants sums it up better than me

[AprilFoolishness]

It's not just about women as incubators. I bloody judge dads breathing smoke all over babies, or smoking in cars with young children too.

And whilst I can think of half a dozen health professionals who would tell me I was being ridiculous if I said I felt guilty for the occasional glass of wine or coffee or soft cheese when pregnant, I can't think of a single one who would say 'a few fags? no worries, crack on love'. It's not the same.

[BenjaminButton172]

Argy - my sis doesnt want to stop. She openly admits it.