To be angry at a nanny 'friend' who told me I should leave my job..........

[Mummyoftwoangels]

just because I told her I didn't want to feed her youngest charge her bottle this morning?! She was 'busy' texting her boss!!

My reasoning being, I lost my own babies just over a year ago, and struggle at times with dealing with young babies! The children I look after are 3 and 6 so not babies!!

She said I should be able to help out others or I'm not doing my job properly! She knows the history of what I have been through, but insisted that I should think about changing my career

If I seriously thought I wasn't doing my job properly, I would leave! AIBU to be really angry, and sad at her criticism?!

Ah, IIRC he committed suicide after being reported to the police. You must've got muddled up BOF.

Ok, I missed that, apologies.

what a confusing thread

Oh FFS! RTFT! Her partner killed himself after she reported him to the police. I don't know what happened to the other evil bastard who was reported though :(

Its all just vile, vile, vile.

oh apols - that info was on a diff thread. Sorry for the RTFT thing. :(

dear me babyheave calm down

Where is the other thread about this?

It's ok, I found it and she does say he took his own life, so no "killer" involved BOF.

Ah, sorry- I haven't read any of the other threads. Apologies if I was making it more complicated.

Still- I would keep the envelope and card for the police. It isn't normal or usual to get cards from people anonymously in these circumstances, and I'd find it a bit sinister.

Just a thought- and I'll stop banging on in a second, I promise, but I think the police should have all the facts- did the other rapist go free? Can you identify him? There might be DNA evidence from the crime as you went straight to hospital and it was clearly a criminal act? I'm just wondering if HE might be in a relationship with the nanny. It could be them plotting together to discredit you in case this all goes to court? After all, we know now that your ex took his life over the whole thing, and sometimes people take desperate measures.

Keep the police abreast of everything, no matter how small. It could all prove crucial.

I kind of see where BOF is coming from, this woman has been unspeakably cruel to you about your experiences, what's the explanation for that?

I think the police would be interested in the (sorry, very painful) history here to help them look at her motivation for such cruelty.

It's crazy how she's gone from being your friend to pyscho bitch in a matter of days

so sad :(

people don't take the piss its taken op a lot of strength to share the details of her story and reading as an outsider some of the recent postings are coming across in a not very supportive mn way

mummy has said what she wants to say and has had a lot of kindness from us all don't let's spoil it now

can't imagine the ex-nanny was anything to do with the happenings

please come back and keep talking mummy we are listening and do care

ps fwiw I think you should report this card to the police

This has already been to court and the other man is behind bars, where he belongs!

Yes my ex partner committed suicide when he realised he was finally in trouble with the police, for all he had done!

Ex nanny????? That one I can't explain! Maybe she hates me for what I let him do to my unborn babies! Maybe she just hates me! Only she can answer that!

But I am trying to get my life back, after what has been a really long time of being treated like shit! So if I was quick to snap at you BOF I apologise! I fell like you are all discussing this as if it's an episode of a tv soap! Well it's not, it's my life, and if you think it's confusing, then maybe you could stop and think for a second about how I am feeling!

As I said I came on here for support! Support I wish I had in the RW but I don't! Hope that answers all the questions.

This has already been to court and the other man is behind bars, where he belongs!

Well thank goodness for that OP. At least you got a small bit of justice for what happened to you and I hope he was locked away for a long time. That must have been really traumatic for you, going through a court case like that and in those circumstances and so soon after losing your little ones, but at least they dealt with it all very swiftly. Sometimes cases like yours can take a very long time to get through the court system. Have you had any help from victim support as well as your counsellor?

glad the justice system has been so thorough op small comfort but for so many it just isnt the case.

(((hugs))) I'd definitely hand in the card to the police. If she sent it, it's more evidence of her harassment.

Have the police given you any update on what is happening with her?

OP have you contacted the police about the card?

I have nothing else to say that others haven't said but I wanted to add to the posts who are saying that this is definitely not your fault even after hearing the full story. You come across as a lovely person who your girls would have been so proud of.

Your ex was a horrific abusive bully and nobody (apart from the seriously unhinged - ex nanny, that means you) would ever think that you losing your girls was anything other than HIS and the other guys fault.

I hope you find some peace after this horrible incident and that you can learn to trust again. Seems you had bad luck confiding in this person but many others would have truly been supportive.

I'm glad you found the right way to wish your girls a happy birthday. You are strong and your girls will want you to be happy. It will take its time but i'm sure you will get there.