to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

[BriansWife]

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

Personally I think £ 80 is a bargain

I read Brian's post last night and Bri's wife's this morning.
I was seriously considering taking Bri up on his services ( am within 50 miles and have my own car).
Unfortunately when Bri's wife admitted Bri was sad about the fact women who have vajazzle don't go for his services I changed my mind.
I came to the conclusion that Bri could never make me whole when he is carrying such grief and sadness around himself.
I recommend counselling and day spa for Bri to get over the disappointment of not being able to dazzle a vajazzled minge with his digits of doom wonder.

Brian works at the dock?? Does he supplement his income (which is low) by some extra yoni massage on board? frigging in the rigging ??

OP, I have very much enjoyed this, but tell us who you really are. I have my suspicions.

I work at the docks with brian, and if he handles his clients like he handles the fish the 80 quid will seem a bargain.

Arf Lucyellen

I'm slightly worried I've missed the booking details for the group bus to Hull

Dont worry another delegation is leaving soon, we think Brian should start up a cult, we will sit round waiting to be yonied by him in the attic and eat a healthy diet of fish.

sootikin. What has been read cannot now be unread.

Does he do a group discount?

Brianswife did you mean to be so pervy?

Here it cums now my yoni yoni.
Put your thumb down, turn it around, cum on Yoni
Hey! Brian give me love and I feel all right now
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

'Cause Brian you make me feel, like a pony
So good, like a pony
So good, like a pony
So good, Yoni Yoni

Brian Brian Brian
Brian Brian Brian
Brian Brian Brian

Looking from the window above
its like the story of love
can you heal me

Came back yoni yesterday
Moving further away
I want you near me

all I needed was the yoni you gave
all I needed for another day
and I all I ever knew

Yoni You

Sometimes when I think of your name
and it's only a game
and I neeeeeed you
Listening to words I can see you're getting harder each day
When I seee Yoooooooooooooooo

All I needed was the love you gave
All I needed for another day
and all I ever knew

Yoni You

brian brian brian
Brian Brian Brian
Brian Brian Brian
brian brian
brian
Brian Brian ........

All I needed was another day
All I need for another day

All I every knew Yoni You
This is gonna take a long time
then I look at what's mine
can take no more

Wonder if you understand
With just a touch of your hand behind the closed doors

All I needed was the yoni you gave
All I needed for another day

All I ever know

Yoni You

Brian Brian Brian
Brian Brian Brian

Tis the flying pickets -Yoni You They have known for years about Yonis!

at "Homo sapiens yoni relaxing milk care" link.
The styling series that the human yoni leads it to the hairdressing throughout the day. To the hair which I repair damage of the hair, and is gathered up with moisture
In one where it is easy to dry, and is easy to get 寝 グセ and that are easy to spread out
While water leak Rihm melting away sleeps at night, it penetrates to a core of the hair and repairs it
Is this Brian advertising on a Japanese site?

God I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I am stunned . . .

DS is looking at me like I've lost my mind.

Would 'Lingam curtains' be an alternative name for a yoni?

No lingam is the "masculine essence" or whatever you want to call it. Lingam curtains makes me think of droopy balls or something.

:(

I'm going with the representation, as quoted by the urban dictionary "Lingam (Sanskrit for "shaft of light") is the term for the Hindu god Shiva as represented by a phallus (erect male organ)"

CoconuttysYoni
I don't think I have written a single thing that could be construed as pervy.

BookieMonsterYoni

If a group of 10 can gather in one place Brian will offer a 50% discount. However, depending on the state of the yoni it can take some time for the sacred waters to be released, so please allow 2 hours per person and Brian will need a 15 minute break between clients, and coffee.

hackmum, just who do you think I am, out of interest? Have we met personally. Feel free to PM me if you want to keep things private.

"depending on the state of the yoni"
erm, can you expand on that please Mrs Brian?

Absolutely pissing myself at the flying pickets song

I have to say, I have had one of Brians massages. 'Tis really nice.
No need to shave beforehand.
He's an excellent guitar player.