to expect my 10yr old to be in bed by midnight on a sleepover?

[Dotty342kids]

So, last night my (only just) 10yr old son went to a friend's for a sleepover. Mum is sort of a friend of mine - I like her a lot but her parenting style.... well it's not the same as mine, let's put it that way!
Anyway, she FB'd me last night, just before 10 to say that boys had been watching footie with her. I wasn't thrilled as my DS is normally asleep by 8.30 as he can't cope with being tired at all, but I figured that football must be nearly over so they'd be going to bed shortly, and it is a sleepover after all!
Drop his trainers off there so he can play footie with friend this morning to be told by mum that she had been tired so had left them in lounge (where they were sleeping) for the end of footie and her son had told her they were going to watch Casino Royale next!!! And she thought she'd heard voices at about 1am. 1 fricking am!!!
I looked mildly aghast at her and smilingly said how shattered he'd be later today which might be an issue as he has swimming training tonight but she didn't seem even slightly bothered by this.
When I collected him at 4.00 as agreed he looked tired, unsurprisingly, and since getting home has managed to eat tea and has now retired to the sofa under a blanket - unheard of for him so he must be exhausted.
I've just messaged her to let her know this so that she's aware of the impact but I'm just so cross.
Don't know what to do in future as they're quite good mates and are bound to want to stay at each other's houses again. I'm cross that not only were they up till gone midnight, but that it was also unsupervised - they could have got up to anything downstairs whilst she was asleep! Apparently her DS suggested to mine, AFTER watching the film so it must have been gone midnight by this time, that they play FIFA on the playstation but, thank goodness, my DS said no to this.

So, AIBU to be cross about this and how on earth do I nicely get her to not allow this to happen next time there's a sleepover?

OMG! Awake late on a sleepover! Call 101!

Yabu lighten up no one has a bed time at sleepovers it’s normal to be tired and he will get over it, realistically it’s not the end of the world.

Guys this thread was 7 years ago. I imagine OP got over it.

Maybe you could get over it too Sparkles. It’s only a zombie thread; nobody died.

Children get very very over excited at sleepovers - it’s not that easy to get them to sleep. I am amazed you get your’s to sleep at 8.30pm. Some of my kids school night clubs when they were 10 years old like guides don’t finish to 9pm. My 13 year old’s football session now finishes at 9.30 pm and his twin sister’s stage school 8.30pm.

@Dotty342kids

So, last night my (only just) 10yr old son went to a friend's for a sleepover. Mum is sort of a friend of mine - I like her a lot but her parenting style.... well it's not the same as mine, let's put it that way! Anyway, she FB'd me last night, just before 10 to say that boys had been watching footie with her. I wasn't thrilled as my DS is normally asleep by 8.30 as he can't cope with being tired at all, but I figured that football must be nearly over so they'd be going to bed shortly, and it is a sleepover after all! Drop his trainers off there so he can play footie with friend this morning to be told by mum that she had been tired so had left them in lounge (where they were sleeping) for the end of footie and her son had told her they were going to watch Casino Royale next!!! And she thought she'd heard voices at about 1am. 1 fricking am!!! I looked mildly aghast at her and smilingly said how shattered he'd be later today which might be an issue as he has swimming training tonight but she didn't seem even slightly bothered by this. When I collected him at 4.00 as agreed he looked tired, unsurprisingly, and since getting home has managed to eat tea and has now retired to the sofa under a blanket - unheard of for him so he must be exhausted. I've just messaged her to let her know this so that she's aware of the impact but I'm just so cross. Don't know what to do in future as they're quite good mates and are bound to want to stay at each other's houses again. I'm cross that not only were they up till gone midnight, but that it was also unsupervised - they could have got up to anything downstairs whilst she was asleep! Apparently her DS suggested to mine, AFTER watching the film so it must have been gone midnight by this time, that they play FIFA on the playstation but, thank goodness, my DS said no to this.

So, AIBU to be cross about this and how on earth do I nicely get her to not allow this to happen next time there's a sleepover?

Do you not remember being ten?

Also "I've just messaged her to let her know this so that she's aware of the impact but I'm just so cross."

The impact here being laying on the sofa with a blanket (in autum)?

Is a child napping really a consequence to avoid?

YABU and so was the host. A sleepover ain’t a sleepover without a midnight feast. Bloody amateurs!

Zombie.
OP's DS is probably allowed up till midnight now.

I am sure we were still awake at 4am at some sleepovers!

Do you not remember being ten?

I doubt the OP remembers writing the thread

I think midnight is too late for 10 year olds and I wouldn’t be happy either that they’d been left to choose and watch a film by themselves. But you can’t make her change her parenting style, if you don’t like it, just make sure you host the sleepovers until he’s old enough that you don’t mind what time he goes to bed.

So YANBU to think that’s a bit off, but YABU to tell her off and expect her to do things your way in future.

@Sparklesocks

Guys this thread was 7 years ago. I imagine OP got over it.

Haha I missed that detail! I expect he’s fine now.

They don't sleep at a sleepover. They pass out from exhaustion and go into a sugar coma.

...and go into a sugar coma.

For 7 years?

Yabvu. It's a sleepover you expect to come home exhausted that's why they're not organised on school nights. I think you need to ubclench a bit. DC will get to bed early to night to catch up.

Oh zombie thread lol if op is still annoyed she definitely has to unclench!

One sleepless night isn't going to kill him.

😂😂😂😂 I wouldn’t invite your son again

Oh for goodness sake who keeps resurrecting threads!

OP come back! We need an update 😂

Now her DS is 17 I wonder what time he gets to stay up til.

Questions for @Dotty342kids

• What happened next - did you ever learn to endure sleepovers?!

For the record, 7 years later - sleepovers are horrible events that children love and (most) parents dread. Good to know it was always thus!