To think posting about your pregnancy on social networks is insensitive?

[ivanapoo]

I don't mean the odd post here and there, I mean daily or more frequent updates/photos of scans, things you've bought or made for the baby, the "delicious" glass of Appletize you're enjoying, how sick you're feeling, how big your bump is, and so on ad infinitum?

Not only is it more boring than a parking thread on AIBU for all the friends in whose newsfeeds your updates appear, but for many women of childbearing age there's a good chance your peers/friends may be TTC, or unable to conceive, or wishing they had a partner to conceive with.

Almost as bad are the parents who detail every tiny little boring thing their child has done that day. I'm still waiting for someone to Instagram a picture of their baby's shitty nappy.

Un friend them- hide them.

wish people would stop comparing it to not having a the money to go on holiday or a nice car.. really shows a total lack of empathy.

When I was struggling to conceive I just hid people if I struggled with their posts.
I try and be considerate but equally I have friends and family living far away who only go on facebook to see pictures of my DS. Some of those 'inconsiderate' posters my have struggles to conceive themselves you know. In fact that is true for some of the most prolific posters on facebook that I know

Hear hear, zeeboo

Satsuki I'm not comparing it to having money and I don't lack empathy, thanks.

It's fucking faceachebook, if you don't want to /can't stomach reading it, block/hide updates or stop using it, no one has a gun to your head.

I have recently hidden threads from my DSil as it shits all over my life. I'm happy for her but I can't read about it every day.

This reminds me of the time l worked in an office when l was an effortlessly skinny bint. One of the women very arsily asked me to stop eating cakes/crisps/whatever in her view (she sat more or less opposite me] as 'it wasn't fair' as she was always dieting and struggled with her weight. But l still had to watch her eating her salads,fruit,lean chicken etc depending what diet she was on at the time and then presumably go elsewhere to eat mine out of sight .
Thing is, it was like she was making her struggle with her weight my problem and to expect people to hide their children in case someone ttc for example sees them and gets upset is similarly unreasonable.

Note the past tense with the 'effortlessly skinny'

Yanbu, its dull

YABU. DD's birth was an awful experience for me. I find the first baby photos of happy, glowing mum holding their baby galling, along with the stock phrase "mother and baby both doing well" as you couldn't have said that about us for months after DD was born and I think I will carry that sadness about DD's first months forever. But I couldn't possibly expect people to not post the photos or say what they like. I didn't post about my pregnancy, but that was just a personal preference. I am tempted to post about how great DD is pretty much every day and I do it because I don't want to bore people.

"If you really can't deal with it, hide it, but also think about what kind of person that makes you" Yousankmybattleship - did you mean to be so rude? Everyone processes suffering/grief differently. For many, being happy (in private) for others is just not possible - or is at least mixed with much sadness.

well if you didn't say it elquinto why did you assume I was talking to you?

Someone on my fb has recently suffered a bereavement. There are quite a few photos, general boring shite about my life I would have normally uploaded, but haven't out of I suppose respect for them. By some of the comments on this thread though that isn't my problem, I should post what I like and they can always hide me. I disagree.
In RL you would chat about your pg with certain friends. You'd say less in front of your great-uncle or your sister suffering from infertility. On fb they all get to hear the same. This is how problems arise.
Join one of the ante-natal threads here if you want to talk about every minute of the pg!

I have a friend that does it, I don't find it insensitive - just really annoyoying, and I personally don't think she should be posting so many pictures of her children online, but I just hide her feeds. I don't appreciate a photo an hour of her children and what they're doing, but if she wants to do it that's her decision!

YABU, when i first fell pregnant i knew that one of my fb friends had just lost her baby so i didnt advertise it, however you cant expect people to hide there happiness incase it upsets someone.

It could get to the point where you can't post anything. e.g. If it had been around when I was widowed were people supposed to suppress any news or photos of themselves as a couple? When I had to have my cat put down was that insensitive for people to post funny photos of their cat? Should people post photos of their fathers when mine is dead? Can you celebrate your DCs wonderful exam results if a friend's child has done dreadfully? I could go on and on and on.
I had no idea that FB caused so much upset until I read the many threads on here. It is easy to un friend someone and it is very easy to hide all their posts.

Yabu and I say that as someone who's first (and only) baby was stillborn and I am suffering fertility issues. Yes, it feels like a stab in the heart each time I read a pregnancy announcement or details about friends pregnancies. However, they do have a right to be happy and excited, if it bothers you so much hide them like I do.

YABU. We TTC for six years and scrimped and saved for the ICSI cycle that finally got us pg. I bored the pants off everyone with my pgcy-related FB statuses.

I don't mind seeing others' statuses at all now. Before, it would have hurt but I never begrudged anyone their chance to show off a bit. For all I know they could have had fertility problems too.

It isn't insensitive. For heaven sake they are sharing their joy! My childless friend (undergoing IVF) loves to see posts about my dcs. She has struggled for 20+yrs following a miscarriage to conceive & she doesn't think I am being insensitive.

I rent at the moment, and cannot wait to own my home again (LONG way off), can I tell anyone who posts here/fb/twitter they are being insensitive when they boast about moving into their own home, or decorating it how they like?

About all those people who post pictures of themselves celebrating birthdays/Christmas/Easter with their friends/family...can I tell them they are insensitive because I emigrated & don't get to see my family that often?

It's just life. I am sorry if you are having difficulties TTCing, but people cannot put their lives on hold or hide their joy away because of that.

most people have the child they want when ttc so they neither know or understand the pain of either losing a baby or not being able to get pg so it wouldn't occur to them to not talk about their baby. tbh they are not wrong to show pictures/talk about their pregnancy as this is normal and would not offend anyone who wasn't going through fertility issues. i have been there and in a way will always be there. best thing is to hide their posts! simple. don't expect sympathy however from the average women who has the children she wants, they don't know what the pain feels like, they are lucky, they have been spared the aching heart and desperation. i wish you all the luck in the world with regard to ttc :)

Yabu. I had someone tell me this on a forum that I used to go on, because H's ex sometimes looked on there. She wasn't even a registered user, but it was like here so the public could read it. I couldn't go out of the house due to morning sickness which eventually landed me in hospital, so it was my main social outlet, and a place where boys would post about shit and wanking without anyone having an issue, but I was posting things like 'I can't come to that gig because I keep throwing up'

So we made a lolcat, except it was the scan picture, saying 'I am in ur woom, leeching ur nutrientz'

It was that kind of place

I used to feel the same about posts about home education. I desperately wanted to o it but couldn't (I was crying every few days and I hardly cry)

But then I realised that the people were posting about their lives, just as I am when I post about the bus being late. They weren't doing it to offend me.

i agree its boring but insensitive?
no
i think thats a bit self involved. just remove the person from your feed if it upsets you.

People should be able to talk about whatever makes them happy. If people don't like it they should delete them.

I have posted about things about my pregnacy and about my children. My family members love my posts. If any of my friends don't like it then they know where the delete button is. Simples.

Equally so, i think some of my friends posts about nights out clubbing it and their messy holidays boring. I just hide their posts :)

Wow, wasn't expecting that many replies. Interesting to read all your views.

I suppose I should explain that I recently was fortunate to have my own baby and held back posting about my pregnancy because I thought some friends would find it boring or upsetting, and while I have posted about the birth of my DC and a few photos since I always feel conscious of who might see them and modify my behaviour accordingly. Some mutual friends have not held back and I worry that it is hard for others still TTC - but as many of you point out it's their choice and right to post whatever they like.

Also while I think my DS is fascinating and the best thing in the world I'm self aware enough to realise not everyone will feel the same.