To think posting about your pregnancy on social networks is insensitive?

[ivanapoo]

I don't mean the odd post here and there, I mean daily or more frequent updates/photos of scans, things you've bought or made for the baby, the "delicious" glass of Appletize you're enjoying, how sick you're feeling, how big your bump is, and so on ad infinitum?

Not only is it more boring than a parking thread on AIBU for all the friends in whose newsfeeds your updates appear, but for many women of childbearing age there's a good chance your peers/friends may be TTC, or unable to conceive, or wishing they had a partner to conceive with.

Almost as bad are the parents who detail every tiny little boring thing their child has done that day. I'm still waiting for someone to Instagram a picture of their baby's shitty nappy.

[vintageclock]

I did read your first post. That doesn't mean I can't disagree with your opinion re someone 'not being a friend' if they find it difficult to accept your pregnancy when they're going through agonies trying to conceive themselves or have unhappily resigned themselves to never having children.
There's no 'should' about it. Everyone is different and people react to upsetting and difficult events differently. I still think it's unfair to say someone's not a real friend if they find another person's pregnancy difficult to feel happy about.

[EldritchCleavage]

Problem is people uses social media in markedly different ways. It's all so new there just aren't many widely accepted conventions for it. There are the constant posters, and they post endlessly about pregnancy and children as they do everything else. Then there are the more measured types and then people like me who scarcely post, never tag a photo and work very hard not to give away too much private information.

Your style is your style. It isn't an exercise in thoughtlessness so much as a personal and philosophical preference.

[2rebecca]

I think if you find a "friend"'s post on their pregnancy upsetting then you aren't much of a friend. Some people just have too many facebook friends and could do with having a cull if updates upset them.
I agree endless pregnancy related stuff may be boring but so is alot of the stuff many people post on facebook. Stop reading it, get out more. I agree with the comment near the beginning that someone else's pleasure shouldn't be your pain.

[wintertimeisfun]

i wouldn't consider a friend to not be a good friend if she felt unable to be part of ie my wedding/pregnancy/baby years. i have experienced all these when i was getting married/having a baby. i was not so consumed that i took forgranted everyone was either as interested or emotionally in the same place. imo to be a good friend is to allow your friend their own space however frustrating it may be for you, just a thought

[wintertimeisfun]

if someone finds a pregnancy related fb post upsetting, there is often a misconception here - it isn't (generally) because that person is jealous and resents that person having what they appear not to have. on the contrary, it is usually nothing to do with the person who put the post up, merely that it reminds them of their personal failure as a women, they feel inferior and envy them, envy is not the same as jealousy, more of an admiration - this is my own personal view from experience, i wouldn't begrudge the person who is pg

[2rebecca]

There is a difference between feeling uncomfortable reading about someone's pregnancy and feeling that no-one should ever post pregnancy related stuff just in case it upsets or bores other people as the OP is suggesting.

[glossyflower]

2rebecca OP isn't talking about generalised baby/pregnancy related posts she's talking incessant posting about it every half an hour.

[2rebecca]

Then you ignore it or block their thread from your inbox same as people posting any drivel every half hour, I don't see why pregnancy related drivel is different to other drivel.

[glossyflower]

I said the same a few posts back

[Fakebook]

I agree. I think it's stupid, crude at times and insensitive to write about your pregnancy all the time. It's one thing writing things anonymously for advice on a forum, but on Facebook, I really don't want to see pics of naked bumps and cleavage size. People seem to lose all dignity.

[SatsukiKusukabe]

for the record infertility is not the same

wanting a new house
not being able to home educate
not getting a holiday
or putting your cat down.

would people please stop saying dumb shit.

[joiemecconue]

when and how can people announce it sensitively on twitter or FB then?

[Suzietwo]

people seem terribly self absorbed. everyone has their own shit to deal with. stop thinking yours is more important than anyone elses

[joiemecconue]

I think people will upset and excluded if they aren't informed after 12w so do you contact them all individually

[ItsallisnowaFeegle]

YABU- my FB my choice if I spend my time posting about my pg/ newborn/ baby.

Don't like it? Unfriend me, miseryguts!

[EldritchCleavage]

people seem terribly self absorbed. everyone has their own shit to deal with. stop thinking yours is more important than anyone elses

True, except self-absorption and thinking your shit, absolutely all of it, is terribly important is what social media use is all about. That's the point of it. There's no way the people who use it are going to throw some kind of sensitivity and dignity screen around pregnancy and leave it off their news feed. That's the way of the world now.

[glossyflower]

Sometimes I wonder how the world went round pre Facebook and Internet lol.

[Suzietwo]

that is true.

this place also

i am always calmer when i stay away from social media in all forms.

[JackieTheFart]

Well, YABU because everyone has the right to post what they want.

However, you also have the right to defriend or hide their posts if you don't want to read them.

[ivanapoo]

wintertime what a kind thing to say, thank you.

And thanks to people like glossy and vintage clock who in addition to actually reading my posts properly clarified my points to other posters.

I completely agree that constant posts on any topic can be tedious. Even when posted by one of my dear friends or relatives.

Also just to add I think it's possible to be delighted for a friend but devastated for oneself.

[ivanapoo]

Sometimes I wonder how the world went round pre Facebook and Internet lol.

Ha yes, carrier pigeons maybe?

Personally I'd find it a bit strange if a good friend or close relative chose to "tell" me they were PG via a social networking site...

[AfricanExport]

YABVU

What's next, can't mention parents as some people's have died, can't mention your husband as some people are divorced/widowed.

I defriended someone after a live birth video went up. Really, no one needs to see that! That's just too much.

If you don't like, don't read it.

[teacherandguideleader]

I get a little upset about my friends posting news of their impending marriages and pregnancies but I realise it is just jealousy on my part as I am aware the things I want most in life might not happen for me. That doesn't mean they should stop posting about it, I just need to deal with my feelings.

The only posts I think are insensitive are when people complain about their children being at home as they are driving them made, or mention something about 'another boy rather than a girl' or complaining about family - some of us would love to be in that position.

[PurpleStorm]

YABU.

Yes, constant posts about pregnancy can get boring, and yes, people who are having fertility problems may find them upsetting - but just about every post on FB can be perceived as boring or insensitive for some reason.

And some of the people posting about their pregnancies may have had problems conceiving themselves, or be posting to keep family and friends living far away updated.