To be offended at dh seriously suggesting ds isn't his?

[Idbeloveandsweetness]

We have a ds who is three and have been TTC for about two years for a second ds. Following infertility testing it has transpired that male factor infertility is the problem, basically we have been told that we have pretty much zero chance of conceiving naturally and ds must have been some sort of miracle (also conceived first month) or something must have changed with my dh since we conceived first time round.

Dh did not take the news well as he was convinced the problem was with me. We found the results out a few weeks back and the last few days he's been eyeing ds and saying things like "he doesn't look anything like me" and "I can see me in him at all." ds does to be fair look mainly like me and my side of the family but I can see dh's mother in him too. Anyway, dh has now point blank asked if ds is his! I am not impressed. Dh can't understand how we conceived ds so easily given that he's now been told he is basically infertile. I don't understand either...but it definitely happened!

Aibu to be hideously offended that dh is a) suggesting I'd cheat on him and b) then conceive a child that I'd pretend to be his?!

You too have lots and lots of talking to do. Hopefully, it will bring you closer. All the best.

DP and I have been in fertility treatment world for a while and I'm sure I came across 'natural cycle' or 'mild' IVF which might be relevant to you (but wasn't for me in the end so don't know all that much about it).

I might be talking complete rubbish medically but perhaps it would be worth looking into? Without drugs each cycle would be cheaper and no drug side effects. I recently had a failed (donor egg) cycle and did get two absolutely horrendous migraine like headaches on the drugs.

Good luck

do not feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do op. when we were dealing with infertility I had made the decision that IVF was not an option for me.

Me, too, OP and Satsuki. I'd seen what fertility treatment did to friends and determined the cost was too high for me. No comment on other women's decision to go through it, but a strong reminder that no-one owns your body or has rights over it.

It really sounds as if your husband needs sitting in front of an expert to get his thoughts straight on all this, OP. He's not coming across as at all compassionate at the moment.