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Original poster

Strip club!

645 replies

everythinghappensforareason · 29/03/2013 21:41

So dh has been kicked out back to his Mothers following a night out Saturday, that ended at a strip club, not only that but also paying for a lap dance from a young girl in nothing but a thong. Ive never been so mad, there was 3 of them. It makes me feel sick, he has apologised + claimed he didn't enjoy it one bit, it was worse than he imagined etc. but i just feel like people around me ( his family) Probably think im over reacting, so my question is, what would u do?

OP posts:
SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 03/04/2013 15:56

*strippers not stripers Grin

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 03/04/2013 16:00

Sorry sabrina but i just don't agree, you may as well say by being in a pub i condone brewery's turning people into alcoholics

No, it's not the same at all. But it is a very typical example of someone trying to minimise or justify their patronage of such places. You're willingly partaking of the objectification of women in the sex industry - strip clubs are part of the sex industry whether you like it or not.

FucktidiaBollockberry · 03/04/2013 16:00

Have I said that people shouldn't have the freedom to take their clothes off for a living and that other people shouldn't have the freedom to watch them, verbalpunchbag?

I haven't said that, have I? I've just said that I reserve the right not to go to bed with them, live with them or be their friends.

The OP isn't asking about whether strip clubs should be banned. She's asking about what we would do if our partners visited them.

FucktidiaBollockberry · 03/04/2013 16:03

As it happens, I think that when men and women are equal and women have the same economic choices as men and men have stopped raping and sexually assaulting us in the numbers they do and paying us less for the same job and objectifying us and treating us as less human than them, then everyone should be able to take their clothes off for money if they want and everyone else should be able to watch them.

I doubt if so many would choose to do either though.

Men who pretend that women take their clothes off for a living are doing so from an equal playing field with men, are some of the sorts of men I choose not to associate with in RL. Grin

FucktidiaBollockberry · 03/04/2013 16:06

Among the myriad other sorts of men I choose to be blissfully free from...

Verbalpunchbag · 03/04/2013 16:26

I see fucktidia, because men and women aren't equal that gives you the right to take the moral high ground and judge everyone else by your moral values?

And come the day when men and women are equal stripping will become acceptable, will no longer be seedy, woman will no longer be objectified and punters will no longer be low-lives? How bizarre!

It's interesting to note that when i mentioned i have seen women in the pub that fact was glossed over and didn't warrant a mention, no accusations of willingly partaking in the objectification of women and no criticism of the strippers themselves.

countrykitten · 03/04/2013 16:30

You dodged my question verbal but that's ok because I think we all know that you would be mortified if your wife decided to strip for money in a seedy club or your daughter did it to make some cash whilst going through university. That's for 'other' women to do isn't it?

What is not normal is spending time every Saturday before the match in a strip club drinking shit beer just because your mates like to watch strippers. Strippers who are someone's daughter, sister, grandchild. How bloody sad.

Verbalpunchbag · 03/04/2013 16:36

Country, i'm sure i said i couldn't give an honest answer because i've never been in the position where that would be considered. I don't pretend girls leave school dreaming of being strippers although it's possible i suppose, or that strippers wouldn't rather be doing something else. That doesn't mean i would deny them the opportunity to make their own choices.

itsasmallworldisntit · 03/04/2013 16:40

If you guys put just 10% of the effort into your relationships, as you do in complaining about men on here, we would all live in a happier world!

countrykitten · 03/04/2013 16:40

Yes ok - you are trying to move the question on to one of choice. So would you be ok with a daughter (hypothetically of course) of yours being one of those girls on the stage in the pub you frequent - if it was her choice?

countrykitten · 03/04/2013 16:41

itsasmallworld I assume that you are a man who is incapable of debate which at least verbal is participating in. Your comment makes me sad for your wife (if you have one).

Original poster
everythinghappensforareason · 03/04/2013 16:54

I don't no how films etc was brought up I've only skimmed over comments, will read properly tonight, But seriously watching Kate Winslet with her kit of on TV with DH is a rather different scenario, If Kate Winslet sat on him in the nude I'd want to slap her too!
He can look all he wants but touching is a no go!

Anyway, I have decided I am going to give us a try, We r taking it slowly he is not moving in right away, where going to go on a few dates and maybe have a few sleepovers and just start fresh, spice things up. Thanks for most all of your advice :) x

OP posts:
FucktidiaBollockberry · 03/04/2013 16:56

Of course I judge people by my own moral standards, whose else am I going to judge them by? Someone else's? Your's frinstance?

Everyone judges who they want to have as friends, lovers and co-habitants. you appear to be wrestling with the idea that women have the right to not have anything to do with men they consider a bit crap.

Verbalpunchbag · 03/04/2013 16:57

Country i don't have a daughter and i'm sure i'd be disappointed if she chose to do that but i wouldn't try to stop her it would be her choice. Not that i think daughters proudly tell their parents they strip for a living.

In regards to itsasmalls comment, i have wondered just how many posters on here like yourself who speak so forthrightly about these issues and the inequality between men and women actively try to change things. I don't mean commenting on here or even waving a placard but are maybe members of a political party and are active in it? I suspect very few.

Verbalpunchbag · 03/04/2013 17:00

Who's to say that everyone else must live by your moral standards? I'm not the one judging everybody else. I'm not wrestling with that at all, i'm the one that said people are free to make their own choices in life, that includes strippers, punters and even you.

countrykitten · 03/04/2013 17:04

That's a very odd assumption to make isn't it?

FucktidiaBollockberry · 03/04/2013 17:04

Women: you have no right to comment on anything or have opinions on anything unless you are politically active.

Actually a few of us are.

FucktidiaBollockberry · 03/04/2013 17:08

I've not said everyone should live by my moral standards have I.

Just that I won't be fucking them if they don't.

countrykitten · 03/04/2013 17:11

verbal you are posting in a bit of a weaselly way. You started off by asking if women really thought this LDC incident was something to get upset about, then you said that LDCs and stripping were not sexual and compared them to films and topless sunbathing. You moved on hastily to say that actually it's all about choice and now you are having a pop at posters on here because in your opinion we are all keyboard warriors!

Problem is that each argument you make you lose.

countrykitten · 03/04/2013 17:12

everything so glad that you are in a place where you feel you can give it a go. It must be tough and I send you my best. Flowers

countrykitten · 03/04/2013 17:14

At least your DH knows what he did was hurtful,thoughtless and disrespectful and he will have learned from this how much you all mean to him and how close he came to losing everything.

It seems that some men can't see anything wrong with this kind of behaviour at all and that is scary.

FucktidiaBollockberry · 03/04/2013 19:04

Glad you're working it through OP.

He'll show you more respect in future

ChairmanWow · 03/04/2013 19:13

I don't mean commenting on here or even waving a placard but are maybe members of a political party and are active in it? I suspect very few.

Me. Do lots of stuff on equal pay. It would be great to see more politically active women. However many on here are struggling with work-life balance so you'll find some who simply don't have the time. They're still entitled to an opinion. Do you withhold a view on anything you don't have direct experience of? I doubt it.

I wonder how you'd feel if MNers political activity of choice was to turn up outside your pub to protest about its use of strippers Hmm.

Also, you mention there are women in the pub. I'm guessing in small numbers, and I'm guessing some may not be 100% happy but keeping quiet for the sake of their group/partner. But yes, some women do participate as punters. It doesn't make the sex industry and less demeaning and doesn't introduce any element of equality given the vast majority of consumers are men.

villagebird · 03/04/2013 19:37

Hi, dont worry about this. Loads of blokes I work with do all this for a laugh quite often, means nothing. My ex husband used to (thats not why i left him by the way) I thought it was quite funny. Its a bloke thing. I am saying this in a nice way so please dont take it any other way. You need to forget it. If you felt secure in yourself you would laugh it off and not give a monkeys. Take it from a woman that knows. Hope you ok.

BelaLugosisShed · 03/04/2013 19:51

It's not a "bloke" thing, it's a sleazy misogynist thing , decent men who like and respect women don't do it.

"If you felt secure in yourself you would laugh it off and not give a monkeys" - utter, utter rubbish.

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