Nanny spotted reading magazine whilst child at playbarn

[zebedeethezebra]

AIBU to be annoyed at my nanny for reading a wedding magazine whilst 3 year old DS is at a playbarn, or do all nannies think it is reasonable to behave like this??

She was spotted by one of my friends the other week. I don't mind her having a coffee or something whilst she is there, but I expect her to keep an eye on DS, not have her nose buried in a magazine. Particularly on the money we pay her.

I am a mum of a 16yr old and 12yr old. I was a nanny before I had my kids.

I don't think it is a windup because I interviewed for jobs where the parents felt this way. I also turned them down because I didn't want to work for neurotic helicopter parents and don't think it is good for the children.

If I did I would only do so because I was paying a hefty premium and expectations were very clearly laid out ahead of time.

"I know this sounds unreasonable to many people, but it is how I want my child raised and I am paying an extra $$$ to make it happen. It is a requirement of the job."

pleasestoptalking - totally agree.

Lazy entitled parents/carers at soft play (or anywhere) do my head in. They leave their kids to run riot (funny how often it is THEIR kids hitting/kicking/bullying - maybe that's why they don't give a shit) while a few other more responsible parents are left trying to intervene or manage situations when they kick off. Or worse, spend ages looking for a parent with an upset child who's just been clobbered ("yes, she is upset... yes, it is bleeding a bit, isn't it....).

Then they go on about 'helicoptering'. Yawn. They need to leave the magazines alone - it's not the fucking hairdressers, and I'm sick of looking after their kids when they just can't be arsed.

OP, your friend wants your nanny. Have you not twigged yet?

TBF soft play is vile and should be banned. It is the cause of so many problems.

Where are all these soft play centres where children are hitting and kicking? I have never experienced this, which is why I am more than happy to get coffee and read paper. If other children are hitting and kicking, why aren't you reporting this to staff??

Same here Spero, I very rarely see injuries at soft play and if there is the staff are on to it. I cant see parents jumping in and sorting out woes at a childrens play center having a good ending tbh.

The biggest problem I have seen is the older more boisterous children getting into the areas designated for the toddlers, which I accept can be a problem. But I thought the whole POINT of the hideous noisy hellholes is that children can play unsupervised in a relatively safe environment where frazzled carer gets a chance to sit down with coffee and mag?

If I was told no coffee or mag I would never, ever enter. They are the only things that lure me in.

Silly bloody woman.
Ill just point out that your friend quite clearly wasnt watching her own kids if she had time to gawp at your nanny. And she wasnt at work either!

Nah, YANBU in my opinion.

If I'm paying you to look after my kid, that means look after my kid, not read magazines, especially not with a 3 year old in a public place. I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't expect a carer to. I couldn't give a crap how that would make me look and if you were the type of person who thought me neurotic for that then it's probably a good thing that you wouldn't be interested in the job.

I've never understood how people think it's totally acceptable for a load of under 5s to pile into a small(ish) area and throw themselves around unsupervised. IME it's usually the parents hovering around who end up keeping some semblance of order. I hate soft play.

Overall, if the child is happy, stimulated and generally safe (accidents will happen, so long as its not regular/routine) and you have no complaint other than what a friend reported seeing, I think you should count yourself lucky to have a competent and able childminder.

I would also think that castigating someone who has all the marks of a competent professional using judgement appropriately (she clearly assessed the risks properly or you wouldn't just know this by hearsay) is poor on your part.

Employ her and respect her or let her find a more reasonable position. If this is your only concern about her, she won't be long finding a family who actually not a complete pain to work for.

Well that's us evil lot told!

Like I said, if the nanny wasn't watching your child the way you parent then YANBU.

Rather than listening to idle gossip, have you asked her?

I feel sorry for your nanny

It's bloody hard work. Try it.

2/10

Your second post was just a bit too mock outraged, OP.

Must try harder.

Hang on. The OP says her ds was at a playbarn "Nanny spotted reading magazine whilst child at playbarn" and "my nanny for reading a wedding magazine whilst 3 year old DS is at a playbarn"

Therein lies the problem: The Nanny wasn't even there at all

Ah! She dropped him off then went to WH Smiths, you mean?

If it is during school hours and she is sitting where your ds can easily find her I dont see the problem.
Are you really real?I usually take everyone at face value but not many people would be so easily 'outraged'.

Why is the fact it was a wedding magazine mentioned? Is this relevant?

Some of you must go to very exciting play barns. Are you sure you have not taken a wrong turn and ended up on actual barn?

I do not see these pits of slathering feral children just waiting to rip each other to bits. The toddlers sit there and pull stuff around, the older ones run around and generally look as though they are having a great time. My daughters tally of injuries in past six years? nil. Worst injury she has ever has was falling off scooter in park when I was right behind her.

I don't think you're necessarily being unreasonable, but that kind of depends on whether it was a quick flick with one eye/ear on DC, or whether she was totally focused on her mag. Maybe the best thing is to have a word with her?

at all the 'I'm not a nanny' comments!

I actually am a nanny and read this while my youngest charge played in the road with a dangerous dog and some glass slept.

At our local soft play they actually sell magazines there, it's designed to let children play freely and adults have a sit down.

Obviously if your local softplay is one of the ones where the other children are hooligans and there is broken glass in the ball pond then you need to watch them or find a new soft play, otherwise you don't need to watch them the whole time.

'Therein lies the problem: The Nanny wasn't even there at all'

if the OP comes back to drip feed that the nanny was reading the magazine in the car park this will be the greatest thread ever.

WHSmiths sounds like a good possibility

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I suspect you are mostly nannies / childminders yourself. Yeah, you... you... childcarers!!!!!