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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny spotted reading magazine whilst child at playbarn

295 replies

zebedeethezebra · 25/03/2013 14:04

AIBU to be annoyed at my nanny for reading a wedding magazine whilst 3 year old DS is at a playbarn, or do all nannies think it is reasonable to behave like this??

She was spotted by one of my friends the other week. I don't mind her having a coffee or something whilst she is there, but I expect her to keep an eye on DS, not have her nose buried in a magazine. Particularly on the money we pay her.

OP posts:
5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 25/03/2013 16:45

Not a nanny or childminder, sahm of five who have all been to soft play many many times. In 13yrs we have had one injury when ds1 was in a ball pit, i was sat right by the ball pit but nothing i could do, he got poked in the eye by another chikds toe! Totally fluke occurance as they were playing and he was fine, had eye drops for a week, putting those in was more traumatic than the origional toe in eye incident.

Its perfectly reasonable to sit and keep an eye on a child whilst reading a magazine.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 25/03/2013 16:45

If you're waiting for a completely safe environment, might as well buy shares in cotton wool now

But then they'll be so buried in cotton wool you won't be able to see them anyway....maybe layers of clingfilm

Astelia · 25/03/2013 16:48

YANBU OP

There is no way I would read anything when my 3YO was playing at soft play. Glance around, wander around, yes. But I would not go 30 seconds without seeing her and checking she was ok.

I am amazed at the responses you have had here.

mum11970 · 25/03/2013 16:48

No, not a nanny or childminder. I'm just a mother of 3 kids on Easter holidays, and have been to more soft play than I care to remember. All 3 are now past the age of soft play and came out unscathed.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 25/03/2013 16:49

*Ah, see now you've ruined it.

You were almost believable up til then, but like all wind up merchants you just couldn't resist taking it that bit too far.

Still, lesson learned for next time.*

Lesson learned indeed.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 25/03/2013 16:50

please, there is a difference between having a coffee/magazine/chat and absolving responsibility in a soft play/playground. Many parents/carers can multitask, no one just sits there staring at their child, that would be weird.

FrameyMcFrame · 25/03/2013 16:51

Oh God, call the NSPCC...

Bogeyface · 25/03/2013 16:53

Nice to see my windup radar is fully functional! As soon as I saw the thread title I knew it was BS!

I would have replied earlier but I was at work!

HesterShaw · 25/03/2013 16:54

There is no way I would read anything when my 3YO was playing at soft play. Glance around, wander around, yes. But I would not go 30 seconds without seeing her and checking she was ok.

How do you know that's not what the nanny was doing? She could well have been doing it more often. And the busybody "friend" doesn't know either as presumably she wasn't close enough to see the nanny's eyes flicking from mag to child.

Bogeyface · 25/03/2013 16:55

Oh and in case this is genuine yeah right

If you are paying her £££ then that will be because she is a good nanny and a good nanny can name her price. A good nanny also knows other good nannies and agencies so a bad employer (ie you) will find it harder to get a good replacement than she will find it to get another job! You might want to bear that in mind......

CatPussInACrownOfThorns · 25/03/2013 16:56

Actually Im a self employed market trader on her day off. so there!

VitoCorleone · 25/03/2013 16:58

Your friend sounds like a twat.

Pandemoniaa · 25/03/2013 16:59

It was thoughtful of you, OP to provide a perfect example of why there is no point in posting in AIBU when you are already certain that you are not. You've also backed up your example by resorting to being uppity with everyone who has had the temerity to disagree with you.

But beyond this, what do you plan to do next? Do you honestly intend to confront your nanny with third hand "evidence" of her alleged neglect? Or might you consider that actually, since you wouldn't have employed an unqualified nanny, and you weren't there to see what was happening your 3 year old was not at any sort of risk since his nanny was keeping an eye on him. Something that's not incompatible with flicking through a magazine.

SugariceisaGoodEgg · 25/03/2013 17:01

Grin Those of us lot who replied are evil?

What do we have to be pleased about?

thebody · 25/03/2013 17:03

You sound unhinged. Here have a grip.

FryOneFatManic · 25/03/2013 17:08

pleasestoptalking
It's a pet hate of mine that some mums absolve themselves of all responsibility as soon as they walk through the doors at soft play.

Glancing through a mag, or even reading it, isn't abdicating responsibility. Even at 3 yrs old, my DCs just needed checking occasionally, not keeping an eye on them constantly.

ConfusedPixie · 25/03/2013 17:10

I've been at work today, finish at 1pm on a Monday thanks :)

There is a difference between supervision and helicoptering. There is one centre near me where I wouldn't be able to find my charges easily. I don't use it. The others are all a case of getting up and having a quick walk around. I usually spot them in a few seconds but if I don't I know where they are in the hurricane machine pretending to be under water

We have no clue what the nanny was doing, for all we know the friend was entirely right and the nanny was completely absorbed in her mag. Or she could have been reading the mag in a distracted manner, glancing up every now and then, getting up if need be and so on.

OP, you sound like the mother the other week who lectured me for daring to sit down after playing with the children for 20 minutes. She was sat on her iPad and sent her child away every time he came close Hmm

Spero · 25/03/2013 17:15

I think it depends a lot on the soft play centre. The one at Brixton Rec was quite terrifying for eg and seemed deliberately designed to maim small children whilst hiding them from adult view.

However any soft play centre where nannies gather is highly unlikely to pose much of a threat I would have thought from either dodgy equipment or horrid rampaging Poor children.

I once read the entire Observer, even boring foreign news bits without looking up more than twice. Daughter had got stuck but some other helpful children came to find me and I think it was very character forming. Ahem.

She knows where I am sitting, even if I am watching her with gimlet stare that won't actually stop her falling off something and I trust the massive amounts of foam padding to do their job.

But if you are unhappy with what nanny does, talk to her. Please get her side of the story before relying on your lovely sounding friend. There is a big difference between leafing through a mag and being engrossed in War and Peace.

Wishihadabs · 25/03/2013 17:24

OP would it be different if she had been texting or mning ? I can't see how looking at a magazine is different. Lots of those places provide newspapers fgs. What on earth would you have had her do?

IAmNotAMindReader · 25/03/2013 17:25

YABU for allowing your child to cross the threshold of the Satans fun factory that is otherwise termed soft play.

You have 2 choices:
Sit down with your nanny and revise your expectations of her.
Treat it as child endangerment and therefore gross misconduct and sack her.

Your friend btw is no friend. She is a shit stirring loud mouth who won't hesitate to flap her gums at the merest hint of misfortune that dares so much as glance in your direction to all and sundry.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 25/03/2013 17:26

'Gosh you lot are evil. I hope you all feel pleased with yourselves. Actually I've been at work, which is more than I can say for most of you lot. I suspect you are mostly nannies / childminders yourself.'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

a) I've been at work too
b) if we were mostly nannies/childminders, what of it? You clearly think enough of them to pay one loadsamoney to look after your child although presumably you make her life hell on wheels in other ways

But I suspect that this is a wind-up, actually, in which case all of the above become null and void.

Sparklingbrook · 25/03/2013 17:36

Ah well, maybe she will get married and hand her notice in and do you a favour. Are you hoping for a wedding invitation?

ThePigOfHappiness · 25/03/2013 17:39

I'm a nurse, sorry op.
Why ask if yabu if you know you're not

flangledoodle · 25/03/2013 17:42

Is this a joke?

bunnybing · 25/03/2013 17:48

YANBU, Zebee. The local childminders used to meet up at a softplay place near me and I was always amazed at how little attention they'd pay their mindees. Their minding used to consist of letting the kids go and occasionally barking at them if they were in the wrong ball pit.

Also once saw a woman with a toddler of about 1year - 18months in a buggy. Instead got letting the child get out and play, she just had her buckled into her buggy, paid her no attention whatsoever, and was reading a magazine on child psychology!