Nanny spotted reading magazine whilst child at playbarn

[zebedeethezebra]

AIBU to be annoyed at my nanny for reading a wedding magazine whilst 3 year old DS is at a playbarn, or do all nannies think it is reasonable to behave like this??

She was spotted by one of my friends the other week. I don't mind her having a coffee or something whilst she is there, but I expect her to keep an eye on DS, not have her nose buried in a magazine. Particularly on the money we pay her.

[cory]

The only serious accidents my dc have ever had have been when I have had my eyes literally fixed upon them. You'd have thought they'd have showed a bit more consideration.

At our local softplay nobody over the age of 4 was allowed in the toddler's area. For safety reasons. Presumably they'd had accidents with kiddies being bowled over by the parents of PFBs.

[DeepRedBetty]

I've just read the other thread.

I wonder if OP is that rather odd lady in the next village who's got through seven nannies in the past 18 months?

[jellybeans]

I've got to admit it makes me uneasy when I see people leave their charges outside shops etc! I wouldn't like it if it was my child.

[hopefloats]

When I used a childminder, a 'friend' reported to me that she had seen DD parked in her pram outside a toilet cubicle in a shopping centre while childminder had a wee (or whatever). Some people really need to mind their own business.

[fedupofnamechanging]

I watch my child at soft play and truthfully, I would expect my nanny to give my child the same level of attention as me. Some soft play areas are small, only have one escape route exit and are fairly quiet. If she was in one like that, then she can get away with skimming through a magazine. However, others are huge and manic and have more than one exit. In the latter, I would definitely expect my nanny to not be doing anything other than watching my child. these are public places, after all.

Whether or not your friend is a shit stirring bitch hinges on whether your nanny was just glancing at a magazine or was deeply engrossed and taking no notice of your child whatsoever.

[YouTheCat]

Oh god, I thought this was a thread about some poor beleaguered nanny from the Fail or something. I'd never have thought it was serious.

OP, I suggest you spell it out for this incompetent fool, along with all her paid break times.

[Spero]

Maybe its just her way of blowing off steam or stealth boasting? The comment 'particularly on the money we pay her' is especially ripe.

[ArbitraryUsername]

I'm pretty sure that my parents let me play outside completely unsupervised at 3. By 5 they let me wander all over the place with my friends, in fields and such like.

How's that for neglectful parenting? Reading a magazine in soft play is positively diligent in comparison.

[ArbitraryUsername]

I wrote my undergrad dissertation in soft play, and studied for exams in there too. (Admittedly, they don't have much of a library-like ambience about them in general, but it was better parenting than parking DS in front of the tv. No?). Yes helicopter parents: clutch your pearls. I was concentrating on something else and not continually monitoring my child. Indeed, I would have to seek him out when it was time to go. He had a great time and I got what I needed to do done. Win-win.

If I employed a nanny (and I don't), I would positively encourage him/her to read magazines at soft play. What else is there to do while DS2 runs around? I'd even encourage him/her to go with groups of friends and chat while DS ran around. And I'd suggest cake to go with the coffee too. I think I'd want my nanny to be happy in his/her job and feel that s/he could relax when s/he got a chance. I just couldn't find myself getting worked up at magazine reading at all.

Incidentally, the only person who seems to get injured at soft play is DS1, and usually at the hands of his brother/his brother's little friends. DS1 is 12 and likes to use 'supervising' DS2 (3) as an excuse to go on the play equipment. There would be fewer injuries if DS2 were unsupervised.

[ChippingInIsEggceptional]

Spero - yep, you are right. An on/off poster with an actual nanny - poor nanny :(

Hobnob - I just had a look and yes she does. She posts on all kinds of things. Some even make her sound nice. I wonder why she didn't come back - she made it look like a wind up thread.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

does the op ever post about anything else? if not clearly a one trick wind up pony

[Lilithmoon]

OP you say 'particularly on the money we pay her'. I wonder just how much more than the hourly Living Wage you are paying your Nanny...

[Spero]

I would have said wind up, but there is the fridge thread from 2011 - same poster, same theme. Quite a dedicated wind up merchant if so.

[ChippingInIsEggceptional]

So just another pointless wind up thread then. Just as well, at least some real nanny isn't working for a complete twat.

[Spero]

Neuro surgeon, air traffic controller etc - would be alarmed if they were reading mags.

Adult at soft play - would be intrigued if they were not. It's a safe environment for children to begin to learn how to explore and play on their own.

[TheSeventhHorcrux]

Im a bit surprised that so many posters think its okay to read a magazine while at work.

Nannys have no lunch breaks. Nannys have no real breaks at all, not with a 3 year old. Nannys are on their feet all day. Nannys work up to 12 hours a day.

Bit different from an office job - office job "rules" don't really apply here.


TBH if you are not capable of flicking through a mag and keeping an eye on a child then you perhaps shouldn't be looking after one - being engrossed in a book is very different to looking at a magazine which is mostly pictures.

[ApocalypseThen]

Im a bit surprised that so many posters think its okay to read a magazine while at work.

Yeah, and it doesn't stop there. Sometimes I browse the internet, sometimes I send a few mails about my wedding, have the chats with colleagues, all sorts. And I think that's a-ok. I get my work done to my employer's satisfaction so win-win, basically.

[Wickedgirl]

OP, does your nanny get any breaks during the day? Does she work 10 hour days?

[Moknicker]

YANBU - you are paying her to look after your child not read a magazine.

Im a bit surprised that so many posters think its okay to read a magazine while at work.

[LadySybilPussPolham]

The person YOU need is Nanny McPhee...

[alemci]

wouldn't you do the same yourself? I know i would read the paper or magazine whilst at home with my dc etc. I suppose the nanny is in paid employment but as long as she was keeping her eye on your dc so what.

[FrankSpenser]

Come back OP. You're sound far too bonkers and entertaining to flounce yet!

BTW your friend sounds a snake in the grass.

Nothing wrong in flicking through the pages of a magazine IMO. YABU.

[Smuffy]

good lord OP YAB completely and utterly fucking barkingingly U.

I feel so sorry for nannies and CMs nowadays, the majority of parents expect them to literally take their eye balls out and glue them on to their children. If the soft play area is not safe enough for Precious to actually play in for 10 mins without having someone stand over them then its clearly not safe enough and Precious shouldn't be there in the first bloody place.

[cumfy]

I think the two of you need to agree clearly what her responsibilities are.

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

The first playbarn I ever went to when I was new to the UK and had a two-year-old was in the Forrest of Dean and it wasn't secure. My kid kept escaping and being found in the kitchen or the goat barn (in his stocking feet!) It seemed to defeat the point of the place, so I stopped going.

I've been to some that are easy to keep an eye on whilst reading, and I've been to some where you could hardly find your kid when it was time to go (Socks-n-Slides in Dumbarton was like this) but they had a cafe and seating area and it was totally normal to just sit and let the kids go. They did have a lot of CCTV monitors, although even finding my kids on those were hard. I don't remember there ever being a problem there, though. It was just set up to be a place where kids could play while their carers/parents relaxed.

I wouldn't go to a place where I actually had to watch my kid. If I'm going to do that, I'll take them somewhere like a museum.

If the play area in the OP is a decent one, and there aren't any problems there, then I think the nanny should be able to relax and have a flick through a magazine.

There's a web site in NYC called "Is This Your Nanny?" where people take photos of "bad" nannies they see at parks. Sometimes, they report real issues ("Nanny yanked child's arm and screamed at him.") but often it's "Nanny let child play on slide alone while texting on her phone." That strikes me as mean.