Mixed seating at weddings WHY??

[PicassosSausage]

Was recently at a wedding where DH and I were split up, at the same table, but with various random cousins and friends of the bride and groom between us. Am I being a miserable old wench for not liking this at all? The people between us were complete strangers and, although we are both pretty outgoing, I really loathe the whole forced small talk thing. I'm sure bride and groom were hoping we'd all mix and get along - which of course we did - but I don't go to weddings to make new friends, sorry I don't I go for the free booze

Our friendship group was scattered across the room and husbands and wives similarly split up on tables

I know it's their wedding day but AIBU to think this is just annoying and a bit...I dunno...stupid

My least favourite wedding was one without a seating plan. Everyone rushed to sit down, and I was on the end with my friends. Then a husband tried to get next to the wife, everyone shuffled down, and I lost my seat and ended up on a table of odd-ones -out.

Whatever you think, they're will always be more stress if there is no table plan.

One big table is horrible for solo guests who know no one. You totally feel like you're gate crashing the mates. Or end up being looked after by 'Aunty June'. Christ, just leave the table alone and talk to the person next to you! It's for what, 2 hours tops?

There weren't any solo guests at our wedding, but that wasn't by design, Don't people do 'plus guest' any more?

I think part of the reason is so no-one ends up alone. I was at a wedding recently, with my friend as my plus one, and neither of us knew anyone but the bride and groom. At the meal I was sitting with a group of like minded people and we had a great time (never met any of them before). However, when the evening bit started, everyone joined their own large friendship groups and we were left sitting on our own. Felt a bit of a spare part and much earlier than I would have done. Would have been horrible if that had been the situation for the whole day. (sad)

Tbh ifancy I think you're more than likely to find people are happy to make conversation. I'm not a great conversationalist and I'm actually quite shy, but I do really try to make an effort at weddings/parties. It's not something I find easy, but I can only recall a couple of times where I've been completely stuck for something to say. Once I went to a wedding near Paris where I happened to be seated to one of the few people there who spoke no english. Unfortunately, my command of french stretches no further than saying my name and age! We did end up having a rather good game of boules (sp?) further on into the evening though and I did leave with some rather good french swear words.

Sounds fun Tail! And no, no plus one for my friends wedding

I shall go, drink champers, chat and sparkle with those open and welcoming guests! . The curmudgeonly will wonder 'just who is that beauty having so much fun?'!

Bringing back memories of attending a small-ish wedding as the ONLY single person. They played When a Man Loves a Woman and I kid you not every other person at the wedding was slow dancing except for me and the barman.

I would (and have done) move place cards as well, why not?

I sit next to my DH most nights of the year. I appreciate going out and having someone else to talk to. I have never been to a wedding/dinner/sit down party that has had a seating plan and sat next to the person I came with.

Exactly Flogging. It's not crime of the century-it's not up there with racing to the altar and snogging the groom is it?

I cannot imagine being the kind of dreadful bridezilla who cared more about her precious seating plan than her guests' comfort and enjoyment.

Sparkling

YY Toby. Can you imagine the AIBU from the bride? 'AIBU to be vvvvv upset that a wedding guest dared to move a place name at the Reception and ruined my whole wedding day'? 'I had spent forever on that seating plan making sure that everyone was sat by nobody they knew'.

Seating plans are awful anyway. All of them. The idea of them. I feel as if I am in a school Why can't people sit where they like?

:o

There would be many 'YANBU's.

The last one I went to - we sat there for hours. Yes, hours. We ate depressing, stodgy, cold food, we watched shows, we listened to speeches. we drank the one bottle of wine allowed, we remortgaged the house to buy another. It was slow torture. And to think someone had put thought into creating this misery.

I fear that may be true Toby. Lots of 'what a cheek' etc.NOBODY TOUCH THE PLACE NAMES!!!!

Did you have to stop overnight at your own expense at a hotel you would never normally set foot in nkf? And have the depressing breakfast experience?

Yup. All of it. We also stood in the rain to have photos taken. And gave money for a honeymoon. And, really, just about every disagreeable circumstance two people could dream up was tolerated. I'm not going to any more weddings I've decided. Or rather only local ones. I do like watching people make their vows. It's so sweet and positive and hopeful but the rest of it... Do your guests a favour and send them a video.

Pand
Hmmmm. Only while I would never be rude in these circumstances, any complete stranger who attempts to interview me will get absolutely nowhere. Also, if I want to be made to laugh I will go to a comedy night.

you sound fun, so how do you respond when someone asks you how you know the happy couple?

it's about being polite, and making conversation, I hardly break into a stand up routine,

I thought everyone was a complete stranger until you meet them, you must of made some friends in life, before you met them, they were complete stranger.

I think the ideal would be-go to the service, have a little cry, throw some confetti, wish them well. Home for tea.

Sparklingbrook, that would be a lovely wedding. I also wouldn't mind squeezing into the bride's parents front room for a cup of tea and some more hugs and congratulations. But no more. Certainly no disco.

For me it's all about the vows and the ceremony and the marriage. Everything else is immaterial.

DH and I departed to another hotel after the meal and left them all to it.

*at our own wedding.

Yanbu.

I had forgotten about the wedding we went to where there was no seating plan. As myself and dh were unaware of this, we were amongst the last to sit down, except we couldn't find any seats together for us and dcs.
All the tables had only one odd seat left.
Mosly people were in couples but all friends wanted to sit together.
Rather than force dcs to sit alone next to strangers we went into another room and ate!!

I definately would not recomend this approach!