to think that being overweight is never a good look?

[INeedThatForkOff]

Superficial, I know. I say this as someone who is just about obese at size 16, four months postnatal.

Pre DCs I lost two stones and was at the top of my healthy weight range and a size 12. Fine really. I put on 3st with DD, lost it over 9 months, then let a stone creep back on again. I gained another 3st with DS and am in the process of losing it through diet and exercise, though struggling with tiredness, not wanting to compromise BFing, lack of time greed etc. I need to lose at least 2st still, but 3 would be best.

I've finally given in and replaced my maternity and BFing clothes with a few new bits which, to a degree, makes me feel better, but frankly when I get out and spend time with slim, healthy people, I realise that I will never look good at this size.

It's not just a self esteem issue. As much as we try to dress it up and say you can be stylish at any size, most looks work better on slim people. Being overweight has connotations of unhealthiness, lack of control, greed or laziness, and I think it's very hard to ignore that. I'm aware that in some circumstances (and I have PCOS) weight control can be difficult. Also that some people genuinely don't give a shit about how anyone else views them. Perhaps I'm simply prejudiced.

But I just don't think being overweight can be a good look. I can't even think of anyone in the public eye who looks genuinely good, without the conditional 'for their size'.

AIBU?

Fuck, I don't know if I dare post this. Flame away (it might actually help me feel better as I am, though that's not my intention!)

Tell that to Botticelli
In lots of societies , fat is beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Yes bangwhizz but not in ours and not in 2013.

I expect some people look better over weight than under and others look better under than over. Some people may even look better over weight than normal.

Some people are going to look shit regardless of weight .

I think the weight is a red herring. Maybe we could stop judging on looks alone?

ICB- I agree with you. (except the personal experience but )

Why all this talk of being underweight? Very few people are underweight. In fact, very few seem to be at an ideal weight. Lots and lots are overweight, though.

I think it's a good idea to be a healthy weight for your height but it's also a good idea to be fit. Some people can be thin but terribly unhealthy and unfit. I'm a bit overweight but have a well proportioned figure and am healthy, fit and toned, while I would like to lose some weight I wouldn't swap my body for anyone else's!

I've lost a stone and am now a healthy BMI.

I feel better and look younger better.

Some people carry their weight very well and look really attractive. I wasn't one of them, I need to be slimmer cos there isn't much else going fir me!

on the whole - overweight people are lazy and never date them.

Deadwomanwalking- how do you get from a size 10 to a size 18 by simply allowing yourself to eat?

kat maybe like me she has a metabolism with a dodgy full dial. I only feel full when I have eaten about 300-400 kcals more than I have expended. This means if I 'allow myself to eat' I will gain around 3 stone in a year......

digerd I'm 5ft 9
Sorry didn't see your question earlier.
I just find it hard to believe people are worried about my weight when I have wobbly thighs and a pot belly! For years prior to dc2 and dc3 I was accused of anorexia, when I was lighter than now, and it annoyed me as I ate fine. I dislike people assuming that because someone is very slim they must have anorexia, as much as I dislike assumptions often made about people who are overweight.

YANBU. Most people look their best - ie the optimal it is possible for them to achieve looks wise - if they are in the healthy weight range.

The BMI is a pretty broad range - you can be slim or curvy and have a healthy BMI. Which looks better is individual to you, but go above or below your healthy BMI and you really won't look as good. You may be as lovely, kind and wise etc, but that has nothing to do with your looks.

I judge anyone narrow minded enough to judge someone on their looks because they are overweight.

Sad, very sad attitudes.

Some of the attitudes on here are certainly backed up by what i see in this article.
Mans View i suspect that you and your ilk will find this funny but i think its disgusting.
So if you were with a woman and she became overweight through meds (Tamoxifen. breast cancer drug) or her shape changed in any way you would be walking then.
With that attitude i suspect you were either the school bully and quite possibly bringing up tomorrows school bullies if you have kids shudder

www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/fat-girl-rodeo-and-pull-a-pig-games-the-banter-shag-lads-need-to-grow-up-8531278.html

Mans View overweight people are NOT lazy. The only lazy thing on this board is your stereotyping.

If my DH became fat for whatever reason I would still love him but no, I would no longer fancy him. Nor him, I if I were to get fat.

Hope neither of you ever get ill then Annabel. Or need to take medication or steroids due to illness.

Deadwomanwalking- how do you get from a size 10 to a size 18 by simply allowing yourself to eat?

You can get to any size you care to mention by just eating a little bit more than you need over a long period of time. It doesn't actually require you to eat massive amounts.

If my DH became fat for whatever reason I would still love him but no, I would no longer fancy him. Nor him, I if I were to get fat.

So "For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death us do part UNLESS YOU GET FAT, dearest..."

Maybe your marriage vows were a little different from mine.

Some shallow shallow folk on this thread, sad

A big FUCK OFF from me to all you horrible judgey people, for whatever reason you are judging people. Shallow and pathetic.

katrinefonsmark - simple, age 18 years, go through 3 pregnancies and indulge your huge appetite. HTH Oooh look a yummy .

filly where do the marriage vows specify having to always fancy each other?
I quite clearly said I would still love him but not fancy. Quite different things.

Not shagging for the rest of your married life wouldn't exactly do much for its longevity.