To think having a wedding on a Thursday is a bit ... well, inconsiderate

[sheeplikessleep]

I know, I know, I know, it's their wedding, they should have it however and whenever they want it. Of course they should.

But because we live 4 hours away, it's taking DS1 out of school for 2 days and 2 days holiday for DH. Of course, we will go (it's my SIL), I just wish it had been on a Saturday, or even a Friday (which would have been just one day off).

Dh and I were invited to a child free wedding on a Friday in the middle of the summer holidays 200 miles away.

I went alone and got smashed without having to do any sort of responsible parenting.

My SIL got married on a Thursday some 300 miles awa. It was pre dc and ordinarily there'd have been no issue but we were getting married ourselves four weeks later (a whole other thread and we set our date ages before them too...) and were having a longish honeymoon (booked before they booked their wedding) and it definitely was awkward.

We did go, but refused to stay at the venue as it was £200 a night. That got us in trouble with the ILs but by that point we didn't actually care.

Two people couldn't make my Wednesday wedding in the holidays and called me out on it... noone else had to take time off because me, my DH and all the rest of our family and friends are wedding traders/weekend workers/shift workers/self employed/teachers etc

I got told I was being 'weird' and 'UR' my DB wouldn't come because of work (even tho he could have come after) yet I had to take 3 days unpaid off work for his and pay £400 in hotels for a weekend wedding - which I did because he's my brother.

Look at your SILs situation money, work and friend wise and you might find she's thought about a Thursday far beyond your expections

waaaaaaaA zombie

YANBU. If it's just a simple one day wedding then fair enough. But if you're having a big three ring circus then have it over a weekend so people don't have to take several days off work/school.

But then I also got irritated at having to travel miles to a picturesque venue in the middle of nowhere for a wedding the last Saturday before Christmas a couple of years ago and thought it was inconsiderate of the couple. But a thread about something similar last December seemed to find this view vvvvvvvvvvunreasonable.

We had ours on a Thursday, everyone said how nice it was!! Wedding at Midday, reception until the wee hours on Friday & then a nice long lie in!

All of our friends made it, as did family - it was 25 years ago so there was none of this "oh the kids can't miss a day at school" bollocks - none of my cousins had their lives ruined by skipping school for those 2 days.

We were in the Army at the time so it fitted right in with our friends who were all on the same block leave period as us......

We're in a similar position but luckily it's local so only one day needed. The problem we have is if the school won't authorise the dcs having the day off and we get fined. If I get told we'll be fined then the dcs will only be going to the evening do after school. It will cause ww3 but I don't care, I'm not risking almost £500 for the sake of dcs missing half hour in the registry office because db decided to get married on a school day.

It's inconsiderate to get married on a school day but ultimately up to the bride and groom and I can see why some do it as the savings are massive.

It's massively unreasonable for the bride and groom to get pissed off when some, like us, have to say the kids won't be there due to being fined for missing school.

It's the same getting married abroad/child free, their choice but don't moan when people have to decline due to cost or childcare.

My brother and my sister (who I was bridesmaid for!) both got married on weekdays which caused me a lot of hassle being a primary school teacher as time off was VERY frowned upon, I had to write to the governing body and make a formal request, as well as liaise with the cover supply teacher, it was a nightmare! YANBU to be annoyed but at the same time YABU as its their wedding, their choice!

I got married on a Thursday.

Wasn't what what we originally planned to do, but our honeymoon was in Portugal (Euro 2014) and we needed to fly out early Saturday morning, to be in time for England's first game. A huge amount of our guests were also flying out on the Friday and Saturday for the Euro's, so we got married on the Thursday.

This really didn't suit some of our non-football friends and family, but at the end of the day, it suited us and a large amount of our guests.

If people couldn't be there, that was fine and most people understood why we chose the Thursday. It wasn't much cheaper to be honest.

It isn't selfish, people can do as they wish on their special day. However, I think if you do this you can reasonably expect that more than the average number of guests might find it hard to attend.