to think some people resent me being a sahm?

[PurpleMacaroon]

I was recently working part time but the company went into liquidation and sadly I was made redundant - and have been a sahm since October. We can still pay the bills and have some left over to do what we want with and thankfully I had managed to save too whilst I was working. We were surprised that this has worked well for us and we're planning on having another baby soon so I won't be going back to work any time soon.

I gave my friends a lift home last night (it was literally a 2 minute drive) so I said in a jokey way - "you both owe me petrol money" and they laughed and one said back - "don't you mean we owe your husband petrol money?"

I was invited by a friend to go on a weekend trip to Berlin (I went, cheap flight, standard hotel - nothing extravagant.) Didn't even bother to mention it until my friend asked me to go out for lunch on Saturday and I said I couldn't and she asked why. When I told her, she said "how the hell can you afford that when you're unemployed?? Oh is your husband paying then?"

It just hurts because I never judge or openly comment on them for their life decisions.

Oh, and I look after all the money and finances. DH just transfers most of his wages into my a/c .

AlwaysWashing

I saw where you said you were lashing out.
But tbh I think SpecialAgentKats comment is still relevant.

Even if snapped out as a retort, the minute sahms start slagging off WOHMs it just makes things worse. If both 'sides' stopped assuming that sneering at each is ok because something one person has said something rude, the argument would just remain between the belligerent and the generally thick rather than dragging everyone into it.

If someone usually thick says sahms are idle then responding to that by saying 'WOHMs farm their children out' is as stupid as 'your mum is fat' arguments in the playground.
We are not to tribes. I wish people would stop acting as if we are.

Agree with Pagwatch

And mums who are truly happy with their choices generally dont snipe about others who have made a different choice, whether that be wohm or sahm.

IMO anyone who makes digs at others are secretly envious.

Yes I agree with pagwatch especially the bit about tribes.

pagwatch SpecialAgentKat
Um, ok, you're right

Not enough sleep & slightly hormonal here - won't beg but forgive me

hate being wrong!

Fucking hell - we don't have to apologise for stuff on here do we! I don't have that kind of time.

You are not 'wrong'. It's just I think it's broader that how we snap things when we are cross, that's all. I have snapped dreadful stuff under pressure.

OP I am in almost identical position to you although the company I worked went bust a month later. It's been difficult especially as a lot of my friends are struggling on two incomes so I find I am careful what I say as in return I feel it can be insensitive to point out that I don't need to work, in order for us to live.
I've had one or two comments and a few people I've just been vague and said I'm freelancing (which technically I have been but it's only been a few small bits of work)
I am planning to set up on my own but not properly until we move/have baby etc.
When people are rude I just bite my tongue and remember I'm very fortunate to be in the position to contribute differently to my family without bringing in actual cash.

I have distanced myself from a friend who used to make these kind if comments. She works 3 days a week and her childcare is provided free by aunts/GPs but if one of them can't do a day she starts moaning about having to take a day off work etc. I got a lot of "we'll its ok for you, you don't need to juggle childcare" to which I'd reply "I can't afford childcare" "we'll I couldn't either if it weren't free"

She would always go on about wishing she could give up work too. Whilst bragging about her new kitchen, bathroom, Florida trips etc.

Yes you could afford to be a SAHM you just don't want to sacrifice you'd lifestyle for it and that's completely fine. But don't give me snide comments.

Pag

Thanks to one minor typo on your part I now have Frankie Goes to Hollywood Two Tribes ear wormed into my brain.

You utter arse of a woman.

I think instead of thinking up clever put downs to wohm just get on with your stuff
Any Time spent seething at perceived put downs,whether housewife or worker,is wasted time
Having being on receiving end of precious moments quips whilst I find them funny in a predictable way,it doesn't bother me.at all

Most Housewifes aren't jealous of working mums
And most working mums arent jealous of housewifes
Quite simply we all (naturally) believe we are doing right thing and vehemently defend it

So I see some of you think I'm being a meanie about
Reread the thread,tired clichés about working mums jealous of housewifes are bit lame

was it a typo? She meant "tribes" didn't she?

Should you take your own advice SM. I was wondering how long it would be until the 'precious moments' lines would be used.

Pag (it's Honeydragon btw, your regular cant we just be nice counterpart on SAHM/WOHM threads I know you get cross at name changing)

Bear,it's a thread inviting discussion,see you've contributed too.as have I
Re precious moments,yes it's cliche, used by wag housewifes but makes me laugh
Any comment on assumption workers jealous of housewifes?Or just precious moments

SPB

We are not to tribes

I wasn't been a pedant or nowt , just read the to tribes and BOOM earwormed

:)

Oh yawn- is this just another way of introducing a WOHM/SAHM thread?

Op- I seriously doubt your friends are jealous- presumably they know you were made redundant, which is not a pleasant situation for anyone to be in.

If you want petrol money for a lift then be a grown up and ask for it, there's nothing worse than people silently seething with resentment but lacking the ability to just ask. However, you add that giving them a lift literally added two minutes or so onto your journey, so I suspect when you mentioned petrol money they thought 'what on earth is she on about?' I would offer petrol money if a friend was taking me somewhere as a specific favour, or if a lift home went more than, say, 5 minutes out of their way, but 2 mins is really nothing, and maybe you came across as a bit resentful yourself?

Yes, I have encountered that attitude, albeit not often.
Are you friends the typical ultra-feminist type who think that unless a woman is working she is a lesser being?

The point is that they don't think you are "working" and therefore shouldn't earn/have a share in your dh's income. I have friends the same - I have not learned how to deal with this either except that after ten years I am coming to realise how privilaged I am to be a sahm so don't care so much what they say. My lucky children who have me at home matter more than the slightly bitter attitude of my friends.

Haha- I think you're getting the reaction you wanted judging by the sneery posts on here OP!

Hahaha at Frankie ear worm.
I am an utter arse and no mistake but I will regularly arrive here with my 'just be nice' chant

Seriously - Relax

Janey68... Pretty sure the OP was joking when asking for petrol money...

Maybe they were joking back then .....