To not really care if DP looks at porn?

[Zaphiro]

Obviously I would if it was an addiction, stopping him from doing other things or affecting our sex life. But the occasional browse when we're apart really doesn't bother me. AIBU?

it would bother me,i still dont understand why they would want or need to.yanbu though if it doesnt bother you.

Doesn't bother me in the slightest.. Watch it together!

It bothers me. Porn exploits women, and I'd go off my husband if he thought that was ok!

BlackAffronted what about amateur cam porn? Or gay porn? I don't think it all exploits women.

Some of it exploits women. You cant say that those women on the free cams are being exploited they are doing it off there own back. Like that woman who filmed herself in that library. She wasnt forced into porn

If you're OK with your DH watching women pretending to enjoy being raped then that's your business.

Don't seek validation on here.

No some women may not be forced into porn but it does give a very depraved view of sex and encourages the notion that women are to be seen as sexual objects only.

The VAST majority of porn features women being controlled by men. So women giving blow jobs, women having anal sex, women being whipped, women being masturbated over, women shown in all sorts of degrading positions whilst the men are usually the instigators or standing over the woman.

We've had conversations on Mumsnet before about feminist porn - just Google it and see how many results come up. Then Google rape porn and compare results. That should give you a quick indication of which is the most searched for term and the most popular.

Porn objectifies women. That's all there is to it. The most shocking fact though is that porn makers are struggling to keep up with demand for more and more hardcore porn. Of course if the demand is there they will provide it, but even they say that they are sometimes shocked by the nature of these demands. If you go back 50 years you can see a clear trend towards more depraved pornographic acts.

I would not be impressed if my dh was yet another male porn viewer statistic. It encourages the industry with more demand.

Let's not even talk about the proven links between porn, drugs and sex trafficking.

MarmaladeTwatkins so if I were to record myself and DP having sex, then put it online, I'd be pretending to enjoy being raped?

"Even the porn industry is shocked by how much violence the fans want, she says; at the industry conferences that Dines attends, porn makers have increasingly been discussing the trend for more extreme practices. And the audience is getting younger. Market research conducted by internet providers found that the average age a boy first sees porn today is 11; a study from the University of Alberta found that one third of 13-year-old boys admitted viewing porn; and a survey published by Psychologies magazine in the UK last month found that a third of 14- to 16-year-olds had first seen sexual images online when they were 10 or younger ? 81% of those polled looked at porn online at home, while 63% could easily access it on their mobile phones."

The entire article as it appeared in The Guardian

YANBU if it doesn't bother you.

YABU for it not to bother you.

Ergo YABU.

HTH.

it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

If you don't mind young children accessing the video Zaphiro.....

The problem with that argument OP is that you can't tell which women are being raped and which ones are there of their own volition.

Like Rhubarb says, it's not just the issue of rape/exploitation. What is porn saying about your gender?

Course not Rhiannon86 - let's all think of the poor little men and their needs because as we all well know, if they can't get sex from women then they have to seek it elsewhere, they can't help themselves can they?

Zaphiro - so your dh only access amateur porn? Is this freely available on the internet? So anyone can access it? Including children?

Read the article I linked to:

""I have found that the earlier men use porn," says Dines, "the more likely they are to have trouble developing close, intimate relationships with real women. Some of these men prefer porn to sex with an actual human being. They are bewildered, even angry, when real women don't want or enjoy porn sex."

Porn culture doesn't only affect men. It also changes "the way women and girls think about their bodies, their sexuality and their relationships," says Dines. "Every group that has fought for liberation understands that media images are part and parcel of the systematic dehumanisation of an oppressed group . . . The more porn images filter into mainstream culture, the more girls and women are stripped of full human status and reduced to sex objects. This has a terrible effect on girls' sexual identity because it robs them of their own sexual desire."

"I wouldn't want to go back to the days where women were supposed to be all sexually repressed and men went elsewhere to fulfill their needs."

No let's fast forward to the nowadays where our children are getting a skewed view of what is normal in sexual relationships from porn/where women are raped and trafficked and abused.

How depressing.

So it's no longer about what we want or desire as women, it's all about what they want, as Rhiannon86 illustrates in her post.

Doesn't bother me but we are pretty relaxed. We watch it separately, we watch it together. I have worked as a chatline worker. It's all fake and a good laugh. Each to their own and all that

No Rhiannon, I daresay she'd feel better after watching a nice bit of porn, the frigid miserable cow

Good grief.

That's nice, dear

"The Guardian... enough said. The woman who wrote the article doesn't exactly look happy does she?"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Good grief.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the basic concept of porn, ie watching yourself or other people have sex/be naked/whatever. The problem is that it's very difficult to separate this basic idea of porn from the porn industry, which is inherently exploitative and responsible for massive amounts of misery and degradation for women around the world.

I think the problem in these debates is that we're not often talking about the same thing.

A cross party group of MPs set up an enquiry in 2012 which discovered that many children are easily accessing internet pornography and they were greatly concerned about this damaging their attitudes to sex, relationships and body image.

Playboy was fined £100,000 last month for failing to stop children accessing porn.

The pornographic version of YouTube is easily accessible to all, it just asks if you are 18 to enter.

The FACT is that many children are accessing porn, they are viewing it at a very young age and parents aren't even aware of it. So if you upload a clip of you performing a sex act, the chances are that a child will view that.

i think that women being stripped of status due to porn is Crap. we have loads of porn of all sorts in this country and women have more rights than ever, certainly since back in the days before easily accessible porn, and in countries where porn is illegal do you think they have more gender equality?
really?
i don't think the two correlate or are linked at all. most people separate their sexual identity and likes completely from their everyday persona. There is obviously a very dodgy side to the sex industry and that part of it needs to be regulated but whilst accepting that a huge huge amount of people separate want erotic entertainment in and outside of intimate real relationships, and nothing, but nothing is going to stop the demand for this and there is a huge amount of women ready and willing to do all sorts of shit that you may well find distasteful for cold hard cash.