To not really care if DP looks at porn?

[Zaphiro]

Obviously I would if it was an addiction, stopping him from doing other things or affecting our sex life. But the occasional browse when we're apart really doesn't bother me. AIBU?

Isn't porn just 'acting' anyway? I have never seen oorn where I thought this is real and the oerformer is being actually abused against their will. Maybe I am naive and haven't seen that much.

Of course that type of forced porn exists but I have filters on my computer abd I would imagine I would have to specidically seek it out.

Its rape :(:( I don't ever want that to happen.

I have sole
I walked into a house at uni where my then boyfriend and his mates were watching a porn movie where the girl wasoobviously drugged and being abused.
It is the vilest thing I have ever witnessed as she was so clearly suffering and half out of it.
The guys were laughing at it all, one of them was saying it was a snuff movie. I didn't stay to find out.
I have never got over seeing the expression on the girl's face, or the fact that men I considered to be normal human beings were sitting around in a dark room thinking this was funny

Not every woman in the sex industry is an exploited, desperate victim. Not everyone who makes porn (ie is behind the camera rather than in front of it) is a depraved monster who wants to hurt women.
Lots of people like to look at sexually-explicit material/to watch and listen to other people engaging in sexual acts. Quite a lot of the people who want to view porn do not want to watch stuff that appears non-consensual or painful, their fantasies depend on the participants enjoying the sex acts.

The mistake a lot of people make about porn is to consider it as a completely separate type of entertainment media, just as they consider sex to be an activity completely separate and different from any other recreational activity. Yes, some porn has got nastier over the years, but so has most mainstream culture. Not in a 'sex-related' way, but in terms of it being generally much more acceptable to be harsh and spiteful, and to victimise people: look at Heat magazine and all these horrible 'reality' shows which basically focus on torturing the vulnerable till they cry. Porn is influenced by the mainstream, not the other way around; it's not created in a vacuum.

And all the time, there are people working within the industry to improve the working environment for performers, to make stuff that's neither exploitative of performers nor obsessed with 'nastiness'. It's not wrong to see sex as entertainment, it's not wrong to engage in sexual acts for money or out of exhibitionism,and let's not forget that the countries with the most repressive attitudes towards porn/sexual display are never the ones who are much cop on women's rights, where as the countries that have generally been open about sex and unfussed about sexually-explicit entertainment (Scandinavia, Holland etc) have always been the most advanced in terms of women's rights.

Oh, and just to show that I am not the only person who thinks there is more to the porn debate than 'it's all eeeevil' vs 'it's just harmless fun', have a look at this. It's a blog post by a feminist/activist/anarchist sex worker. Possibly not entirely worksafe but it's mainly words, few pics.

yanbu!

How many % of women in the sex industry do you think are not there of their own free will?

I went through a phase of watching porn a while back. Just the free stuff on red tube. Then I saw one where a poor Chinese woman was tied up and was literally screaming for what sounded like her mother. It was the most disgusting thing I ever saw and I have never been able to think of video porn in the same way.

One you get over the novelty value porn loses it hold. The danger with porn is that need for novelty whether that be extremism or just volume .

Just caught up on a few pages - to whoever said I was smug, maybe I am! But it makes sense that one's opinions are influenced by one's circumstance, doesn't it? If my DP decided he never wanted me to look at porn ever again, I'd don't know how I'd answer.

Interesting and intelligent points by SGB and interesting that no-one's argued back yet...

I always find these threads a little depressing as views are so entrenched. The perception I have (which may be wrong) is that there are rarely few facts presented and little actual research in these debates.

I'm vaguely anti-porn, but I'm yet to see the evidence that it's a bad thing for society, or that it's harmless - it does mainly seem to be assertion after assertion (I'm taking both Highbrow's and xmascow's posts as evidence of this)