To not really care if DP looks at porn?

[Zaphiro]

Obviously I would if it was an addiction, stopping him from doing other things or affecting our sex life. But the occasional browse when we're apart really doesn't bother me. AIBU?

The OP is talking about her husband watching porn whilst she is not there. Then she talks about amateur porn.

So does he pay to watch porn or is watching amateur stuff?

Either way, online porn is being viewed by children and amateur porn even more so as the industry is at least regulated.

The industry itself happily exploits women and turns a blind eye to trafficking and drugs. In fact the industry holds a lot of power in many countries so it can basically do whatever it likes. The fine for Playboy is, I hope, a good example of how the tide may be turning against them.

Actually my DP isn't interested and doesn't watch porn. I was just thinking about it and don't think I'd care if he did.

It's not in the same category as cheating for me. It's more akin to nose-picking or watching Top Gear. Unsavoury perhaps, but not that bad.

Branleuse, just because we sat here have the comfort of some equal rights, there are many less fortunate women who are sold into the sex industry and have very few rights. You need to check your priviledge, I think. Don't assume that all women have the nice life that you or I have. And we are still along way off being equal to men, don't delude yourself.

And why are women being sold into the sex industry? To satiate men's needs for visual stimulation.

Branleuse - so how do you account for the countless stories of young girls being forced to renact porn by their boyfriends?

This is from Newsbeat: "Men who look at porn for 10 hours a week are much more likely to worry it is influencing their behaviour, the survey suggested.

Higher numbers of those heavy users said their porn viewing had upset a partner or caused them to miss a meeting at work.

Men looking at porn for at least 10 hours a week were also more likely to say it can put them off real-life sex.

Sixty-one per cent agreed it could make you less interested in sex with a partner, compared with 27 per cent of moderate users and 24 per cent of light users.

This Newsbeat video explores how webcam porn affects women.

This is from Relate:
In an interview to BBC Radio 1, Relate counsellor Sharon Chapman told Newsbeat reporter Greg Dawson the growth of online porn is having an impact on relationships.

Questioned on how online pornography can affect relationships, Chapman explained that as porn has become more accessible, it is ?distorting a person?s view of what a normal sex life should and could be like.?

Chapman?s interview follows a study by The University of Plymouth and the UK Safer Internet Centre showing that more than a third of young couples interviewed for this study admit porn has caused problems in their relationship.

I think the industry, as a whole, is exploitative and damaging to women. The problem with using porn is being able to tell which women are being exploited and damaged, and which are entering into it through their own free will. As there is no way of knowing which is which, I choose not to use porn. As does my DH.

(That's even before getting into reasons around wanting to protect my DS7 from porn, before considering how many women who participate 'willingly' have come from a background of abuse, before thinking about where the money goes on an industry-wide basis, and what that money supports, and before even getting into a discussion about sexual objectification of women, by the way.)

Bran do you think that women have acheived equality in this country? Genuine question.

Incidentally I have quite a few friends, male and female, who watch porn and no-one I know has ever paid for it. That I would probably have a problem with as I'd see it as a waste of money.

And whilst we may have more rights, actually misogyny is alive and well and the porn industry is there lurking in the background waiting to take full advantage of that.

Porn ruins relationships and presents a distorted view of sex. It is seeping into the lives of our children whilst we debate about how feminist it all is now.

Did you not read about how the porn industry are being asked to produce more graphic, more shocking and more depraved pornography?

And what about the rise in child porn - because there is one - is there a correlation between easily available hard core porn and child porn? Certainly some porn actresses look very very young and if you again Google teen porn you'll get plenty of hits. Just shows you about demand doesn't it?

THERhubarb I'd say over 10 hours a week is an addiction. It's like comparing alcoholism with a casual Sunday pint. Anything is bad to excess.

Zaphiro - so they don't pay for it. Which proves that porn is easily accessible. Do you not have a problem with this? Do you think it should so be easily accessible? What types of porn are they watching free of charge? Hard core?

Rhiannon86 - who do you think these women are being sold to?

Do you think they'd honestly tell you if they were spending £££'s a month on porn OP? Would that sort of conversation come up in the pub?

"Women being sold into the sex industry is wrong, but it's the bit about women being sold that is wrong, not the sex industry."

But when your lovely DP/DH logs on to a porn site, how does he know whether he is wanking off over a trafficked woman who is being raped/drugged or a woman there of her own free will?

He doesn't know. There is no way of telling so surely it's just best to avoid?

Porn has made a lot of women very wealthy but the argument that never gets answered on here is how are the free cam girls been exploited?

Wilson they don't need to. Hard core porn is available online for all to see free of charge. You just click to say you are over 18.

That's how Playboy were fined because they did not have adequate safeguards to protect children from viewing their own porn channel.

They don't want to stop children from looking, don't you see? Get them hooked at an early age much like the tobacco companies tried to do and the drink companies still do. They have no morals. They don't give a shit so long as they are able to attract the punters they don't care how old they are.

i think you've always had abusers who Will try and coerce their partners into stuff. raping people however is already legislated against, and if a man forces his partners into sex acts she doesn't want to do then he's a rapist. most men Will completely see the difference between fantasy and reality and if they can't then they're going to get into trouble at some point and hurt people with or without porn. watching porn is an act of sex and being sexually aroused by watching sex does not turn someone into an abuser any more than playing GTA makes someone likely to become a car theif . It doesn't make someone a misogynist. That is just ridiculous

I happen to enjoy porn myself, so why would I mind if my husband watched it? Oh wait, he does. We both do. Together and apart.

It's not porn that's the problem. It's the porn industry. Plenty of amateur porn out there that has nothing to do with rape or exploitation or anything else of that ilk.

Did you know if there was no porn there'd probably be no Mumsnet? ::waits for gasps of outrage to subside:: Most technological advances of internet were created by the porn industry. Fact.

Also animation and film.

There are lots of other careers that make women very wealthy. Ones that don't give women STDs/anal prolapses/damage how men view women etc etc.

The free cam girls? Are you that naive? Free cam girls are there to get the punter to cough up and use the pay sites.

i think the trafficked women and sex slaves are more likely to be sold into prostitution than porn

You usually only get a free taster xmascow. If it's totally free then she's making her money through advertising banners and click through ads.

Again, she is presenting an image of women as pure sex objects there to titillate men, to do what men ask them to do no matter how degrading.

Branleuse, I think that the fact that some men watch women being raped for their own sexual gratification makes them misogynistic.

Did you know if there was no porn there'd probably be no Mumsnet? ::waits for gasps of outrage to subside:: Most technological advances of internet were created by the porn industry. Fact.

Go on then - show me your source.

"i think the trafficked women and sex slaves are more likely to be sold into prostitution than porn"

There is evidence to suggest otherwise. A quick Google will establish this.

WilsonFrickett it did, actually! We were students. As I said earlier I would care if DP spent money on porn, because I'd think that money could be spent better elsewhere. I'm not saying I agree with or commend the porn industry, but that I wouldn't care if DP has an occasional look.

THERhubarb what were they looking at? Sex, I guess! I don't think it should be available to children, but I don't think anything with excessive violence in (films, video games) should be either.