To not really care if DP looks at porn?

[Zaphiro]

Obviously I would if it was an addiction, stopping him from doing other things or affecting our sex life. But the occasional browse when we're apart really doesn't bother me. AIBU?

xmascow can you please stop misquoting us and saying that we have said that ALL women are forced?

Read my last post and then come back to me.

i dont really care anymore, ive had my say. People arent going to change there minds. I was just pointing out that some women choose to do porn and arent all exploited. Some of these porn stars are multi millionaires

The rhubarb. I think all women I know are directly and negatively affected by porn though...I see this in the varying ways we are treated by men who expect us to behave/dress in certain ways which we simply wouldn't feel under pressure to do except for the objectifying and other negative influences of porn. And if we don't behave in those ways we are at risk of being accused of being frigid, jealous, ugly, old, fat, anti choice etc

xmascow - you gave ONE example that none of us have seen or heard about and claim that this represents the majority of women in porn?

One example?

You say there are countless more videos but presumably you don't know the ages of the people in the other videos? You don't know if they have consented to the film being uploaded? You don't know if they were coerced into doing it?

You see I am repeating myself again when I say that amateur porn is NOT regulated. In the porn industry you have to sign a form that clarifies you are over 18 and give your consent freely. You do not have to do that with amateur porn.

It is a sad FACT that sexting amongst children occurs. That online bullying in school is rife. That young girls are being persuaded to send sexual images and videos to boys who then make them public online. It happened to a Mumsnetter not that long ago and the video of her dd was shared with other boys and uploaded online.

I can give you many many more examples but all you cite is ONE. Good for you.

As for the porn industry it is again a FACT that they sponsor many amateur porn sites. That they are certainly prevalent in organised crime in America and many other countries. That porn stars have spoken out against abuse, drugs and ill-treatment of stars. That they are producing more and more hard core pornography due to high demand. That they themselves do not do enough to stop children from accessing their sites.

But you carry on thinking that women are in porn to get liberated. I await to be showered with facts on that one.

Xmascow, what is your point? Why does the fact that some women haven't been forced negate the fact that many are?

Xmas that doesn't justify the HUGE amount of suffering women and some men suffer at the hands of the porn industry.
Ignoring that suffering is very odd IMO.
I take it if you have a daughtrt you would be happy for her to be a porn star then

rainbow - I have a friend who says the same. Her boyfriend expects her to enact porn scenes after he's been watching them too.

It's depressing and makes me fearful for my own daughter.

Haha Sigmund, I think you could be right!

It's interesting though. I have new thoughts on paid porn and childlock filters and hadn't considered them earlier.

rainbowrainbow absolutely. Although I was told on here once that 'the objectification of women wasn't a feminist issue anymore', presumably because we're all equal now . Apart from the arguments advanced on this thread, I find it shocking that so many otherwise bright women think porn does women - and men - no harm at all.

im sure no one forced them to send a dirty pics to there boyfriends. Dont want them getting online? dont send them its not rocket science

It couldn't possibly be the pressure from the bf as a result of watching porn that makes them feel they have to take dirty pics? And then the bf puts them online? No, that never happens. Silly girls uploading their own dirty pictures.

"im sure no one forced them to send a dirty pics to there boyfriends. Dont want them getting online? dont send them its not rocket science"

Goodness.

Your denseness astounds me.

xmascow, these are young girls, teenagers and pre-teen who are persuaded to do so. What a lovely attitude you have towards online bullying. God help your own children if that's your attitude to them too.

I don't think that debating with you is at all useful.

Zaphiro, I'm pleased you at least are open-minded enough to consider these issues. Please note that I am not judging you or your friends or partner. I just don't want people to think that porn is harmless.

pressure from a bf? dont they have there own minds? No one can force you to take pics of yourself

THERhubarb yes, they're probably not regulated. But I've never seen anything on those sites like rape scenes, bestiality, child abuse, actual violence or sadism. Saying that they shouldn't be watched because some people in them might be coerced seems a bit like saying, I won't wear any clothes made in China because they might be made by child labour. Or, I won't eat in restaurants in case the meat served was killed inhumanely. These don't feel like they're really my issues to address? I have faith in legislation and criminal justice to fight these battles on my behalf.

So you don't think it is possible for young girls to be in emotionally abusive relationships, xmascow?

im sure they will of been asked for dirty pics but its not hard to say no. Its there own fault if theyve sent pics and it ends up on line. Ive been asked for them and said no. Its not hard

No one can force you to take pics of yourself

Nope, just like no-one can force you into doing anything you don't want to do. Like sex before you're ready for it. Or being filmed because you're scared of your boyfriend. Like porn. Come on xmas can't you see the correlations between watching something and normalising behaviours that come from what you view? Or do you have to believe porn is blameless? So who is to blame in these circumstances - young girls?

Victim blaming is seldom attractive...

"I don't think that debating with you is at all useful"

I agree. Am disengaging with it now.

they have to take part of the responsibility if they are stupid enough to send dirty photos. You can blame men as much as you like but they are only part of the problem

Unfortunately Zaphiro that isn't happening. The problem is too widespread and the porn industry too lucrative. The explosion of amateur porn has led to an increase in amateur porn companies and possibly an increase in exploitation and trafficking. The police and other law enforcements can't keep up, as one Mumsnetter found out, no sooner do you get one video taken down then it's copied and posted on another or kept for personal use.

I do actually go out of my way to ensure that my lifestyle and what I buy reflects my views. I would not watch amateur porn because I suspect that the vast majority is not consented to or that the people involved are exploited in some way or that it's actually porn actors and the website is funded by the porn industry (that way they nicely sidestep all the usual regulations).

I don't think there's any point in debating with xmascow any more people. I wouldn't waste your time.

I hate these threads. Any rational thinking, educated adult knows that porn is a very destructive force in our society.

To engage with the likes of xmascow is like banging your head off a brick wall. xmascow will do their level best to regal us all with a tale about this one woman who chose to make porn movies and wasn't fucked in the head and made a shed load of money to pay for her college fees.

Porn is vile. Full stop end of story. Innocent people get hurt/caught up in it and are abused.

I can't believe I just tried to find the 'Like' button to click on your post HighBrows! Still, if there had been one I would have clicked it.

These threads are always divisive. They can be summed up in two sentences.

There are people who are content to disregard whether someone has been abused as long as they get their orgasm. There are people who are not.