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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear my coat inside someone else's house or ask them to turn up the heating

194 replies

frogspoon · 17/02/2013 09:12

I am someone who always feels very cold. No medical reason, I think it's just because I am quite small and thin with little fat for insulation.

When I am at home I always have the thermostat set at 21-22, and even then often find myself sitting next to a radiator or electric heater.

When I go to friends I always find it very cold. I have a choice of either leaving my coat on, or mentioning that its a bit chilly in the hope that they will say they are cold too, and turn on/up the heating. I feel that whichever option I choose comes across as rude as I am implying that their house is cold (sometimes it genuinely is but most of the time it's just me)

Which would you find less/more offensive? Someone not wanting to take off their coat in your home? Or someone you to turn on/up the heating?

OP posts:
fluckered · 17/02/2013 09:13

they are both rude!! why dont you wear more layers or thermal underwear besides making a host feel bad?!

HDee · 17/02/2013 09:14

No, you have a third choice. You can take your coat off and be a bit cold for a while. Really rude to sit there with your coat on.

PureQuintessence · 17/02/2013 09:14

My friends house is cold. When I go there I bring a pair of extra socks or wool slippers, I wear layers, and if that does not work I just grab one of her decorative blankets and wrap myself up. I dont care if I am rude!

ArbitraryUsername · 17/02/2013 09:15

I think you should just wear more layers. You know you're going to be cold, so it's easy to plan to wear more.

fluckered · 17/02/2013 09:16

actually think its very cheeky to ask someone to turn up their heating for you especially as there for a visit. heating is very expensive and you want them to heat the whole house for you?? wear more clothes ffs!! some people Hmm

asktheaudience · 17/02/2013 09:17

Both are offensive!

If you are always cold, why aren't you wearing more clothes?

thanksamillion · 17/02/2013 09:17

Wear an extra jumper when you go to visit.

kelda · 17/02/2013 09:18

21-22 is quite a high temperature. Mine is set at 18-19 degrees. We all wear jumpers inside the house.

Why do you think you are so cold all the time?

Cat98 · 17/02/2013 09:19

For me it would depend who the person is and how close I am to them. My mum or brother I wouldn't have a problem saying I was cold. Most friends or more distant relatives - I wouldn't dream of it tbh. I'd put more layers on or suffer in silence!

Original poster
frogspoon · 17/02/2013 09:21

Sorry to those who just suggested I wear more layers I should probably clarify. I am currently wearing:

Normal underwear
Thermal underwear (vest and long johns)
A uniqlo thermal top thing
A tshirt
A thick jumper
Jeans
Wooly socks
A coat (outside and in other people's houses)

So what else exactly would you suggest I wear??

OP posts:
HelloBear · 17/02/2013 09:25

Can you get a fleece top, one of thouse that looks more like a jumper than a coat, I find them really warm.

Cat98 · 17/02/2013 09:25

Big fleece instead of a coat? Have you been to the doctor though?

HappySeven · 17/02/2013 09:26

If you are wearing all that and still feel cold unless a room is 21 degrees I think you should visit your GP. I feel the cold (and I think we always feel colder in other people's houses but that's probably because we're sitting still and not keeping busy) but with that many clothes on you shouldn't. You may need your thyroid checking out.

EuroShagmore · 17/02/2013 09:26

I don't think the people saying "wear an extra jumper" get it, tbh.

I'm also cold all the time. It's horrible. If my cold feet brush Mr Euro and make him jump my response is always "think how it feels from the inside". I wear layers but they don't help the extremities. We also keep the heating at 21-22 degrees and in the evening I will often be wearing a thermal vest, jumper, thick cardigan and will still want a blanket over me when I am sitting on the sofa. My mum was exactly the same. My dad used to call her "woman barely alive". (It all changed for her after the menopause though!) We both have Raynaud's and I suspect that is to blame.

I don't think I've ever asked unprompted for someone to put the heating on, but if someone notices that I am huddling or shivering and asks if I would like it, I will not say no! My MIL lives in Southern Ireland and is a fresh air fan. Mr Euro does the winter visits alone. I can't hack it! Shoes off houses are a hazard. I try to remember to take my furry warm slipper boots, otherwise I won't be able to feel my toes after sitting for an hour or so in just socks.

EuroShagmore · 17/02/2013 09:27

BTW, I've had everything checked, including Thyroid. I appear to just be built this way.

CailinDana · 17/02/2013 09:27

I'd just say "turn the heating up I'm bloody freezing!" But I don't do the whole "suffering in silence due to politeness" thing - far too Irish for that!

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 17/02/2013 09:28

I would go and get checked out at the GP.

Get a fleece, you can get away with keeping them on and not look like your ready to leave all the time!

Branleuse · 17/02/2013 09:29

id reither wear an extra thermal layer, or ask your friend if she minds if you keep your coat on for a little while as you just cant warm up today.

I would also maybe speak to your doctor because thats really feeling the cold a lot. If my house is at 21/22 im BOILING

Branleuse · 17/02/2013 09:30

gingko biloba might be worth looking into for circulation, and garlic

likesnowflakesinanocean · 17/02/2013 09:31

my nans house is always freezing, i just wear an extra cardy and go for the layered look. i would never leave my coat on the whole time

fluckered · 17/02/2013 09:32

CailinDana am "far too irish" myself but still think it would be rude. i understand your cold. and you obviously feel you cant wear any more clothes. perhaps a trandy beanie (all our heat goes out top of hat) and those hand warmer things you can keep in coat pockets. i dont know .... have you always been like this?

Iamsparklyknickers · 17/02/2013 09:33

Could you invest in some of those pad things that heat up? The ones for back pain and period cramps. Or even carry a little hot water bottle with you?

I wouldn't ask someone to turn up the heating in their house, it's expensive and some people are naturally hot people. Imho it's a lot harder to cool down than it is to warm up.

fluckered · 17/02/2013 09:33

wtf ... still half asleep. a TRENDY beanie as all heat goes out through top of HEAD i meant.

mum47 · 17/02/2013 09:34

I work for someone who runs their business from home and their house is freezing. I wear as many layers as I can and even then take a spare cardi with me. I drink coffees to heat me up. It is pretty miserable sometimes, but I would feel awkward asking them to turn heating up.

MusicalEndorphins · 17/02/2013 09:34

You should see your doctor to be sure you do not have a medical reason.