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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

593 replies

crashdoll · 13/02/2013 20:20

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

OP posts:
chickensarmpit · 13/02/2013 20:24

I wish I could choose who would get my organs. I don't want an alcoholic to be given my liver just for it to be destroyed. For that and many other personal reasons, I will not be donating anything.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 13/02/2013 20:24

I need a new kidney.

I can't give my organs. My blend of medical conditions mean that I can't give blood, the bone marrow I donated was rejected and I can't give any of my organs. The jury is out on whether my skin could be donated.

If I got offered a kidney now, I'd take it. It would be seen as selfish if I didn't... I battle it in my head but it's immensely difficult to be on the transplant register without having the option of returning organs.

If you are healthy, it's entirely too black and white.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 13/02/2013 20:26

I just want to add that my kidneys are not damaged through alcohol, or anything else that I caused myself. I am not responsible in any way for the deterioration, it's the result of a medical condition.

If I had caused the damage myself, I definitely wouldn't be able to accept an organ.

Smudging · 13/02/2013 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notapizzaeater · 13/02/2013 20:28

I think a lot of doubters become donators after someone they know needs a part.

I have been on the register since I was 18 - used to have some spectacular arguments with my then partner as he did not approve ( he thought u needed all our bits in an afterlife) and he would have overridden my decision.

In the next few years my dh will need a kidney and I hope he and everyone on the register gets one. My brother n law died aged 31 waiting for a heart.

skaen · 13/02/2013 20:29

A lot of people have medical conditions which bar them from donating blood or organs. Funnily enough, the same people are also more likely to need transplants.

Original poster
crashdoll · 13/02/2013 20:30

skaen On the programme I'm watching, the doctor said it was a myth that people with medical conditions cannot donate their organs. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule.

OP posts:
MrsMorton · 13/02/2013 20:32

I don't think that was the point of the OP skaen , there are lots of healthy folk who say they wouldn't donate but then they may need an organ and it's suddenly very acceptable...

chickensarmpit · 13/02/2013 20:32

Wasn't the government going to make us all donars? Then we could opt out? Or have I dreamt that.

ifancyashandy · 13/02/2013 20:34

My mum has asked me not to register whilst she is alive. She says she couldn't bear the idea of my being operated on in my death / not 'complete' IYKWIM. But she would accept me having an organ donation. We both know its hypocritical and difficult but I can't stand the thought of her pain being increased in the event of my untimely death.

expatinscotland · 13/02/2013 20:36

' the doctor said it was a myth that people with medical conditions cannot donate their organs. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule.'

It is. Obvious exceptions are those who have had cancer. But even smokers can donate.

skaen · 13/02/2013 20:37

She was wondering what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate. DH would be willing to accept an organ there really aren't any circumstances in which his organs would be accepted. We've checked.

Shakey1500 · 13/02/2013 20:38

DH and I are complete opposites on this topic.

I'm happy to donate anything and everything with a shrug.

DH believes that he needs everything for the afterlife.

I respect his views and vice versa.

Though I really don't get the "you can have everything EXCEPT my eyes" POV (no pun intended)

bruxeur · 13/02/2013 20:38

"I'm a selfish hypocrite"

is what it usually boils down to.

VitoCorleone · 13/02/2013 20:38

It may make me sound crazt but i also believe that when you die if they take parts our of you then you will never rest in the afterlife/great beyond. Because part of you will always be missing.

And i mean if you have something removed after you've already died, not if you lose/donate something in this life, because obviously you already know when you're alive.

If that makes any sense

Stinkyminkymoo · 13/02/2013 20:38

I think it is worth bearing in mind that most people who need an organ are likely not to be able to donate. (I'm not saying this as a fact, just as a hunch - not been watching the itv program).

I'm an organ donor, I would however hope that my organs would go to a good home. Smile

deste · 13/02/2013 20:38

I will donate everything except my eyes. I do have a donor card.

delilahlilah · 13/02/2013 20:42

I think you should only be able to accept an organ if you are a registered donor.

mackerella · 13/02/2013 20:42

Can I ask why you wouldn't donate your eyes (actually, I think it's just the corneas?), deste? How are they different from other organs?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 13/02/2013 20:43

I think bruxeur hit the nail on the head.

All this afterlife mumbo jumbo shite does my mash in.

Adsss · 13/02/2013 20:43

Cards can and do get lost or damaged and you may not be carrying yours when you are taken to hospital. Adding your name to the register is a more permanent way of expressing your wishes. You can still carry a card if you wish to.

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lottiegarbanzo · 13/02/2013 20:43

Surely the reality is generally apathy. People don't think about needing or giving, or are well disposed toward sthe idea but take no action. Needing might catch them unaware. That's why I think the 'opt out' approach is a good idea.

TidyDancer · 13/02/2013 20:44

The "alcoholic might get my liver" argument is flawed IMO. I'll leave aside the likely low odds of that happening, and just ask anyone to look at the alternative. Is it really worse for an alcoholic to have your liver than it is for it to be cremated or buried with the rest of you?

I give blood and if my organs are wanted after my death, then anyone who needs them is welcome to them.

DP and the rest of my family are aware of this and support it. They ALL would do the same.

ariane5 · 13/02/2013 20:47

My sister is very pro organ donation and has made it very clear to me that she wants to one day donate. My DM however is very anti and if something were to happen to dsis I know she would say no to donation as is dsis next of kin. Iam just praying the situation never arises as either way if I got involved somebodys wishes would be overlooked.

Personally it is not something I like to think about but my gut instinct is that I would be happy to accept+donate myself but could never donate if was one of the dcs.

RubberBullets · 13/02/2013 20:47

I've been on the list since I was a child. I feel it would be selfish of me not to