To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

[crashdoll]

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

[BattlingFanjos]

Just wanted to add my little opinion, fwiw I have been registered on the list since I was a child (my mum signed me up). They can have whatever they can use. I like the fact that out of sadness of death, comes happiness of giving life or better quality of life to someone else. I was very against signing DS up (never thought i would be) i think because as a mum I couldn't imagine being in a position to make that decision. However, i came to the conclusion that if I ever was, I couldn't cope with the thought of another child not too far away, ill and in need of help, the thought of me not just losing my son (touch wood I never do) but depriving another parent/family of their baby's chance. Needless to say DS is 5 now and signed up. I'm also on the bone marrow list, give blood and am planning on donating my eggs next year

[TroublesomeEx]

It's not a sacrifice- you're dead!.

I was thinking more about the sacrifice of consenting for them to take the organs of a family member rather than yourself.

[CloudsAndTrees]

I square it with myself because I don't currently need anyone else's organs, there is a high chance that I will never need someone else's organs, and because like most people, I will put my own family's feelings while grieving above those of people I don't know.

Like I already said, I'm not entirely comfortable with the way I feel about this, but I can't just switch off to the fact that I'm not comfortable with the thought of having my organs taken after my death.

[DizzyPurple]

Perhaps those of you who don't feel comfortable with the idea of others having your organs should take a stroll around a Hospital ward full of people desperately waiting for an organ to help them live. Adults, children, babies.. Some die each day waiting for organs. Having witnessed this myself many times as a health care professional I struggle to understand how you could deny these people a chance. None of them asked to be so ill, their whole lives are affected and that of those close to them. It can be shocking to see them so ill, and yet the difference following the transplant can be amazing. Really amazing.
Think about it... Then go and sign up.. Potentially you could save many lives. How can that be a bad thing??

[Andro]

I don't carry a donor card, but have discussed my wishes with my DH and DF.
DH is a firm believer in organ donation.
DS is strongly against at the moment but acknowledges that his views may change. In the horrible case of anything happening to him, he has made it clear that he doesn't want us to donate his organs - we both hope his view will change.
DD is too young to care.

[seeker]

God, I hate that "look after Number One" attitude.

[ReindeerBollocks]

Clouds - it's highly unlikely I'll ever need an organ. But then my son was born and life completely turned on it's head. Life long condition that needs constant management and eventually a massive transplant.

Or like my DH, who contracted a virus that destroyed his kidneys.

There are conditions which come with age, such as diabetes which often need transplants.

Never say you won't need a transplant so that you don't need to think about it. Although at least you were willing to admit that you know you are displaying selfish behaviour.

[CloudsAndTrees]

I hate the attitude that people who give plenty to society are somehow selfish because they want something as simple as the right to decide what happens to their own body, but there you go. We are all different, and entitled to different opinions.

[mackerella]

Thanks for answering, FolkGirl. I guess I don't really "get" the common squeamishness about eyes because DS has had so many eye operations now - they're just bits of anatomy like a heart or a leg. I certainly don't buy into the "windows to the soul" thing either, because that implies that DS's windows (or maybe even his soul?) are defective and broken . (Yes, I know it's just a metaphor and that you're quoting what most people think, but it still makes me sad!)

[TroublesomeEx]

Sorry mackerella I didn't mean to say the wrong thing and it's not my feelings. They do make me a bit squeamish - but I'm still down to donate them.

I just didn't want your question to remain unanswered and I know you're not really cross with me

[Smellslikecatspee]

As far as I'm concerned they can take what ever they want and I'm on the bone marrow list as well as donating blood. The meds I need to be on prevents me from being a live doner.

OH has real issues with this, it's the whole needing to be kept on life support that gets him, on his words what if I recovered? Now to me the idea of lying in a coma or worse being 'locked in' a situation where you're aware but unable to move/communicate sounds like torture to me.
Therefore we have agreed that my Mum has medical authority as she agrees with me. Take what ever they want need eyes included, whatever happens next I'm not going to need it why let it burn or rot in the ground.

[mackerella]

Oh no, I knew what you meant and I appreciate your honest, thoughtful answer - I'm certainly not cross with you! And I'm glad that you're going to donate anyway .

I'm obviously very sensitive to this because of my experience, but blindness is often spoken about on MN as being the one of worst things that somebody can imagine - I've seen several posters say that they would rather die than be blind, and one has even said that she would rather her child died than lose their vision (e.g. as a side effect from cancer treatment). If DS's blindness could be cured with an eye transplant we'd take it like a shot - but it's hardly in the same league as needing a kidney or lung transplant.

[saladcreamwitheverything]

Anyone can have any bits of me when I've gone. Same applies to DH and DS. If any bit of DS could be passed on to save another DC then that's got to be the best outcome hasn't it?

[Jojobump1986]

Is there a separate register for live donations? I know about the bone marrow register. I'm all for donations of any kind, although I must admit I've never so much as given blood. I was under the required weight until 21, only put on weight as a result of depression & was then on medication. I came off the meds to TTC, got pregnant, waited the appropriate length of time, booked an appointment & then went & got an infected insect bite so I was on antibiotics on the day of the appointment! One month later I was pregnant again.
DS2 is due in June & I'm quite tempted to ring up the local donation centre & demand they book an appointment for as soon as allowed afterward! Can you give blood while breastfeeding?

When my DSis was born they said her kidneys hadn't formed properly so she'd probably need a transplant by the time she was 8. When she was 8 they said it would be during puberty. She's now 20 & if her kidney can survive the next 5 years it should last indefinitely but ever since I was 6 I've been waiting to be told I was needed to donate an organ. I've wondered about getting myself checked to see if I'd even be a match - I guess I could give it to someone else if it wouldn't be suitable for her anyway! I don't know if they'd be willing to test me just in case though.

Which organs can be live-donated? Am I right in thinking it's basically just a kidney & a bit of liver, other than blood & bone-marrow?

[MsFanackerPants]

DP and I are both on the register. I have been since I was a child and asked my mum what the card was. My whole family are registered and aware of each others' wishes. I did a training course as part of Dying Matters week and was surprised about how strongly I felt about it.

DPs dad died of lung cancer in 2010 but he was still able to be a cornea donor. It was important to him and family that even though something terrible had happened, there could be some good. He was such an avid reader and film watcher that it felt very appropriate to pass on the ability to see to somebody.

[ThisIsANickname]

For those who think they need their bits in the afterlife, are you happy accepting organs knowing you are condemning another person to an eternity of unrest so you could life a little longer?

[HeadingHome]

I've been on the register since I can remember. A few years ago my mother had a dual lung transplant.

I would donate organs from my husband and children without a second thought.

[HeadingHome]

I've also had a blood transfusion. This will not disqualify me from donating blood in the future, just have to wait 12 months after transfusion.

[Rosduk]

I lost my son but didn't have the option to donate as he was a premie, but the thought of him not being 'complete' following the post mortum really upset me at the time. I would have allowed donation had he have been
older though.

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

Clouds, Kittens, absolutely nobody on this thread, or anywhere, ever, has said that "people shouldn't have the right to decide what happens to their own body". That is a total straw argument. Of bloody course it's your body and your choice! This is not a debate about whether one should have the RIGHT TO DECIDE. At all. It just isn't.

It's just that not donating your organs, but being willing to take organs, is really fucking selfish, that's all.

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

Chickens. Not kittens. Chickensarmpit and CloudsandTrees, that's who I was addressing that post to.

[Greenkit]

Funny I had this conversation with my DD(16) last night, I am on the register and I am happy to donate anything. I asked dp if she would register, she said she would and would give all but her heart and eyes. I asked her why and she said she felt funny giving her eyes away, talked her round about the heart

I used to give blood but am not allowed anymore as I had a blood transfusion in 1989 and I could be a mad cow

[Iteotwawki]

My husband may need a kidney transplant in the next few years. I'm hoping I can be a live unrelated match.

It's supremely selfish to be happy to accept an organ from someone else's grief but at the same time consider your own grief more important than someone else's right to life. Fine if you don't want to donate - then should you ever require an organ, you should be at the bottom of the waiting list and those who would donate theirs (or family members if they are medically excluded from bring donors) should take priority.

[reddaisy]

I havent read all the messages but I just see absolutely no reason why people wouldnt.donate their organs. They could.save a life so in death you could be doing something wonderful for another family and I think that is nothing short of beautiful. DH knows my wishes and will stand by them, he is unsure so as I am so pro organ donation I will decide for him as next of kin

I also agree with expat and think no-one should be allowed to overrule your wishes. I would also donate my DCs organs if we were ever in such a horrendous situation as again I think it would be a wonderful thing to do.

It may have already been covered but people often used to say that they didn't want to register in case doctors didn't try to save them in the event of a lifethreatening situation which is clearly rubbish.

And I also think it should be opt out like some other countries.

Get on the register everyone! (As an aside, does anyone know if I need to update my details now I am married etc? I have also moved a lot since I registered at 18!)

[MsPickle]

headinghome the guidance around blood transfusions is you can never donate; I'd love to but I've just checked
www.blood.co.uk/can-i-give-blood/who-cant-give-blood/

And it says you can never donate if:

You have received blood or think you may have received blood during the course of any medical treatment or procedure anywhere in the world since 1st January 1980.

And, genuine question, those who believe organs are needed for the afterlife, I presume you wouldn't be cremated?

I'm on the register and will remain so. Dh also. I did it through my drivers licence and checked recently that I was on, I've carried a card since I was a child.