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AIBU?

To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

593 replies

crashdoll · 13/02/2013 20:20

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

OP posts:

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expatinscotland · 13/02/2013 20:48

I don't think that family should be able to override the wishes of the donor, EVER

glossyflower · 13/02/2013 20:48

I found the problem when my dad needed a bone marrow transplant and we couldn't find a match.
Anyone pretty much can donate and you don't have to be dead, but when I was trying to recruit I came across many people who knew my dad, friends and family, who said they would donate to my dad but didn't want to go on the register and end up giving to a stranger!
One was found in the US eventually luckily.
I'm on the donor register as I don't believe you need your physical body after death.
Most people who die would not go on to donate their organs anyway, it's usually patients who have been brain damaged, ventilated etc because most people don't realise the donor has to be kept artificially alive whilst their organs are harvested. They are brain dead but still on a ventilator otherwise the organs will be deprived of oxygen and die.
If you die in your sleep at home you will not be donating organs.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 13/02/2013 20:51

You will not receive a donor liver if you are an 'active' alcoholic. Regular blood tests are carried out to ensure you are no longer drinking. Even if you admitted that you had 'just one little drink' to your HCP, you will be taken off of the list.

It is not up to the individual to decide who receives their organs. It is up to the HCP's to decide who is most in need at that moment in time.

If you were to decide you won't donate your organs because an alcoholic may get them (which they won't), you are also possibly denying a child a life.

JuliaSqueezer · 13/02/2013 20:51

This reply has been deleted

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AMumInScotland · 13/02/2013 20:53

I do think an opt-out system would be better - that way those who genuinely don't want to (whether their reasons are sensible and well-thought-out or not) can put in the tiny bit of effort requied to make that known. And the default position for the rest of us is "Use it if you like, I was either in favour, or at least I wasn't bothered enough about the issue to express a view against it". That way next of kin would not feel bad about doing something they had not discussed during the person's lifetime.

Would an alcoholic getting your liver when you're dead be such a terrible thing? You might prefer it to go to someone else, but if yours goes to the alcoholic then the next one that becomes available will go to someone else. Otherwise you are just reducing the total availability by 1, not changing the outcome for a more "deserving" recipient.

Thewhingingdefective · 13/02/2013 20:54

I don't have a problem with organ donation for me. What I find hard to think about is the possibility of donating my children's organs, but I would of course, accept organs if they needed them. I would hope I could find the strength to do the same for another family. I hate thinking about it though.

seeker · 13/02/2013 20:54

Because they are selfish hypocrites? Or superstitious idiots? Or on occasion, both?

Possibly?

crashdoll · 13/02/2013 20:56

The online form to fill out for organ donation has been down since the programme started.

OP posts:

willybreeder · 13/02/2013 20:56

Wow I' m stunned about the needing organs for the afterlife ! But I'm also sad about the comment about not wanting to donate DC organs if they died.
It would give me comfort knowing they had been put to use. I feel strongly that its selfish not to give back to someone who might need it.

Adsss · 13/02/2013 20:58

An adult liver may be split between an adult and a child by "worrying" about the adult recipient you may be denying the child

ReindeerBollocks · 13/02/2013 20:58

For those who are happy to donate, have you ever thought about live donation?

Genuine question, not intending to provoke any arsey responses.

I was a live donor nearly two years ago. It really was a put your money where your mouth is situation. But so very worth it for the lives it can change.

Personally those who are exempted for medical reasons shouldn't be allowed to accept if they aren't prepared to donate.

DH got my kidney. But one day my beautiful little boy will probably need heart/lungs and possibly liver. He won't be able to donate - but he has been the cause for getting people to sign up.

It is hypocritical and selfish to refuse donation but accept an organ.

PleasePudding · 13/02/2013 20:59

I'm o the register and so are my children (4 and 3) that felt weird when we registered with the GP but if anything good can come from death then that is ok with me I suppose.

I don't care who gets what - an alcoholic needing a second chance with a second liver or a small child. Whoever and whatever they are they have more use for it then I do. It is not a conditional or judgemental gift.

My husband has really rubbish vision and can barely see anything in one eye, he was told nothing could be done and then almost a year ago they decided to do a corneal transplant. Within 24 hours he could see so much better; it is amazing. Maybe not life-changing Luke a kidney or heart but genuinely amazing. A year ago someone died but before they did they signed something and eight people's lives are so much better for that. Thank you whoever you are and whoever your relatives are who let it go ahead.

ReindeerBollocks · 13/02/2013 21:00

Those who aren't exempt for medical reasons

Knew I shoulda previewed it first!

HollyBerryBush · 13/02/2013 21:00

If you are in need of an organ, like DHs aunt with a kidney, the rest of her body was shot to pieces after 20 years on dialysis and of no use to man nor beast after she died.

Its a bit like blood doning - my children have all be in receipt of pints of the stuff, but none can now donate due to being receivers.

chickensarmpit · 13/02/2013 21:01

I'm on the bone marrow register and I give blood. But that doesn't really matter. It's my body and my choice. Would I be called selfish if it was for religious reasons?

PimpMyHippo · 13/02/2013 21:02

I think lottiegarbanzo is right about apathy - I imagine there are a lot of people who wouldn't mind donating their organs, and would certainly be willing to accept one, but they never actually get around to signing up to the register. I agree that an opt-out system would make far more sense.

Out of interest, what religion do you belong to if you believe you will need your organs in the afterlife? I ask because my parents are Christians and believe that we don't need our physical bodies in heaven, and I'd assumed that most other religions had a similar idea.

Anyway, even if you want to keep your organs for the afterlife, there's always blood and bone marrow donation!

Adsss · 13/02/2013 21:04

I doubt we would ever be able to convince the opposing argument to change and don't think we should degenerate to trying. However for those who have not got round to it I would love to give a hug of support in taking the step to register.
Ads x

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 13/02/2013 21:05

Yes I would think you selfish if it was on religious grounds.

chickensarmpit · 13/02/2013 21:06

I don't like the idea of an opt out system. You're body is your own and the government should keep out of it.

larks35 · 13/02/2013 21:06

I personally think we should adopt the system whereby you have to actively de-register from donation. I had a doner card (lost over time) and constently agree to donating my parts when I donate blood. But, I am aware that all it would take is for my partner or kids to say no and that would be it, my wishes would be forsaken. I think we need a change in law.

GrowSomeCress · 13/02/2013 21:08

I want to register now but the website doesn't seem to work

Adsss · 13/02/2013 21:09

GrowSomeCress

ReindeerBollocks · 13/02/2013 21:09

chickens the government can keep out of it, by the person opting out of the system. It's just as simple as the current form to register for organ donation.

Ae you really comfortable accepting a potential organ knowing you are so against donating one?

Adsss · 13/02/2013 21:09

( that was for taking the step to register - not for the site going down!)

crashdoll · 13/02/2013 21:11

I don't have an issue with people who would neither accept nor receive for religious reasons, however I would question why religion says it's ok to receive and not give.

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