To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

[crashdoll]

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

I sometimes wonder if AIBU is sometimes used for homework or presentation prep. Tut

Donors have a choice and can make that choice, recipients generally have no choice, just a need.

When I renewed my car tax this year there was another page to sign up to the Donor Register rather than carry a card. I'm forever losing stuff like that (despite first completing a card as a child) so it was a good option for me. DH is still undecided but agrees to carry out my wishes.

I've explained it all to DD and she said she wanted to sign up, but DH has asked me to wait until he's got it all 'square in his head'.

I think some people just need time to adjust to the thought.

I think people are entitled to make their own decisions about their own bodies, I hate the guilt tripping and name calling that comes hand in hand with this topic. If you choose to donate you are no better than someone who chooses not to.

As for receiving, I'm sure people do what is right for them at the time.

i had thought for years about signing up but "never got around to it". then i met my dp, whose funny, sweet, loving little boy has cystic fibrosis. he takes 9 different medications a day and one day will more than likely need a double lung transplant. he made me see that just spending a minute of my time could change peoples lives. i have nothing but contempt for people who would take and not give. if only you could come and meet this little boy i wonder if you would still think that your squeamishness is more important than his life.

My son needs a kidney too. He's been waiting a year. He's 26.
I can't donate as I've had cancer and too many major surgerys already.
I really wish I could.
I was on the register so its up to the drs to
Salvage what they can.
I do find it very hypocritical to be happy to receive but not donate but I think it's one of this things that you don't think about until you are in that position.

CloudsandTrees

"I square it with myself because I don't currently need anyone else's organs, there is a high chance that I will never need someone else's organs...."

On the Tonight programme about transplants, the specialist was myth busting and stated that people are 4 or 5 times more likely to need an organ than donate an organ.

I find being accused of being selfish unfair, and inaccurate.

You are basically saying that all the blood that someone has donated is worthless. The fact that someone would be willing to donate bone marrow if they were found to be a match is worthless. Whatever good someone has done for society, or time, money and effort thy have freely given to charity is worthless, because all that matters is that they would choose life over death while at the same time feeling uncomfortable with parts of their body being removed after their death.

It just seems rather pathetic and very small minded to me.

And of course it is about the right to decide. You are saying that someone who wants to exercise their right to decide isn't as worthy of life as someone who just happens to feel differently. How is that right? How is that in any way better than putting someone at the bottom of the transplant list because they haven't paid enough tax, or they aren't educated enough, or they haven't done enough charitable work?

It isn't.

That's interesting crashdoll.

Why is that then? Is it because there are so many people unwilling to donate, or is it because too many people die when their organs are unusable?

On the last thread like this, someone said that whether you can donate or not was dependant on how many staff were available at the time of your death in certain hospitals, but I don't know if that's true.

Clouds - the maths is fairly obvious. There are people waiting for donations so not enough donor organs available. And a donor can gives lots of organs at once. So if the average donated is four then

No of people needing an organ > 4 * no of donors.

I suspect the reason is that to donate you need to die in such a way that doesn't damage the organ. So for heart and lungs I'm guessing massive head injury. And these days we are very good at preventing such deaths. (Seat belts, motor cycle helmets etc).

Unfortunately, he did not expand. I was quite shocked with that figure. It would be interesting to find out.

Jojo - yes that's my understanding of what can be donated. Everything else you need to keep

There have been some fantastic advances with kidney transplant in recent years. 'Higher risk' live related transplants can now take place with organs that would previously have been thought incompatible. What's frustrating about that though is that what makes it higher risk is that there is more of a chance that the transplant won't work and thus a healthy person gives up their kidney for nothing. If more people agreed to donation after death that wouldn't happen. There wouldn't be a need to try these fairly desperate measures.
There are also kidney swaps so if A has renal failure and B wants to donate but doesn't match and C has renal failure but D doesn't match you can still donate with A getting D's kidney and C getting B's - iyswim?

Somebody mentioned heart beating donation. Non-heart beating donation now happens for kidneys and whilst those organs sometimes take a little time to get going once they work there is now eveidence to show that they work as well and last as long as heart beating donations.

I wonder do people understand that for example a transplanted kidney may well not last life long? People can have more than one transplant. Many do. Depending on your age and illness and the condition of the transplanted kidney you could get decades from it or just a few years. A transolant isn't a cure for end stage renal failure but it is the best treatment and it's life changing.

Just throwing in randomly that I heard someone say once that it's believed by a roman philosopher that your eyes are the 'windows to your soul' I'm not sure if that has anything to do with the eye opt outs some posters have asked about?

I'm on the register, but have been told by my geneticist that due to the genetic defects I have my organs are unlikely to be useable.

I am on the register and all my family know my wishes.

DH is not on the register and does not carry a card - he is far too squeamish to want to think about this stuff if he doesn't have to. I have told him that if he doesn't carry a card or sign up then I will absolutely give my permission for donation should I be asked.

I'm on the donor register, and the bone marrow one (Anthony Nolan).

Agree with the op (obviously this doesn't include recipients (or anyone) who physically cannot be donors, its about the will to do it isn't it).

And I find squeamishness a poor excuse, except my eyes bizarre, and 'an alcoholic might get my liver' unsympathetic to say the least..

And no, I'm not taking away anyone's right to decide, I just respectfully entirely disagree....

I am so unbelievably grateful to the people on this thread who have registered as a potential donor. As I said on here last night, I have had a double organ transplant and to put it crudely, would be dead now if I hadn't had it (I'm 32 now and was 26 when I received my transplant). For those people who think basically they are healthy and won't need a transplant anyway so are completely justified in never wanting to donate (but still would accept an organ) I have sadly come to learn that that is a very naive attitude to have. I can tell you 100 percent that I would never have dreamed that I would ever need a transplant! No one ever knows what is around the corner.
After I had my transplant I went through a time when I just felt so incredibly guilty. Guilty that someone had to die for me to live and that maybe out there was someone else who might have needed the organs and that I didn't deserve them if there was someone else more in need.
My life changed so dramatically after my transplant, I am so incredibly lucky. Like I said last night, I am in regular contact with my donors mum and she told me that after she first heard from me that she knew she had made the right choice in donating her sons organs. I think of my donor and his family every day and am getting very emotional just writing this. I had my miracle little boy 3 years after my transplant and his middle name was my donors name.
Please just take a little time to read some of the info on the UK transplant website if you are undecided about organ donation. Thank you if you have got this far! X

I registered a few years ago, after considering it for a few years but never quite being able to take the step. Then I read a story about a little boy who died waiting for a transplant and his parents said if anything good could come from his death it would be people donating. I read the story in tears as my ds was a similar age and immediately registered.

Quick question though - If my family said 'no' to my organs being donated, despite me being on the organ donation register, what would happen? Read somewhere on this thread that their wishes would be upheld and not my own?!

I d

I don't think selfish is the wrong word at all. Willing to take life at the expense of someone else's grief but not willing to donate life at the expense of yours.

Taking but not giving is selfish. And no, the hours of community work, voluntary whatever and litres of blood donated aren't relevant.

If you're not willing to donate then you should have a lower priority than someone who is. It's hypocritical otherwise.

Not sure if it's been mentioned anywhere else on this thread but on Facebook you can 'create a life event' and select 'health and wellbeing/became an organ donor'. You can then add dates/reasons etc. If it gets 1 person on your friends list to do the same, it is worth doing!

I have a donor card, the thought of giving my organs away does not bother me in the slightest. I used to give blood but can't anymore as have had a transfusion.

Hadn't thought about bone marrow, wonder if I can ....

No you have to be a blood donor to donate bone marrow according to the NHS website

Just on the ineligibility to donate points ( from the Organ Donation site)
30. Can I be a donor if I have an existing medical condition?
Yes, in most circumstances. Having a medical condition does not necessarily prevent a person from becoming an organ or tissue donor. The decision about whether some or all organs or tissue are suitable for transplant is made by a healthcare professional, taking into account your medical history.

There are only two conditions where organ donation is ruled out completely. A person cannot become an organ or tissue donor if they have been diagnosed with HIV or have, or are suspected of having, CJD.

31. Can I be a donor if I have been turned down to donate blood? Yes. The decision about whether some or all organs or tissue are suitable for transplant is always made by a specialist, taking into account your medical history. There may be specific reasons why it has not been possible to donate blood, such as having had a blood transfusion or having had hepatitis in the past. Or there may be reasons why you could not give blood because of your health at the time - sometimes a simple thing like a cold or medication that you are taking can prevent you from donating blood.

My late sister had cystic fibrosis and had a double transplant and her heart was transplanted (well parts of it) to four or five different people

I'm on.the register.

I'm actually quite shocked at the idea that some people are not at all willing to.donate but are perfectly happy to accept an organ.

Of.course that is selfish any hypocritical.

And those that won't donate as they'll need a their parts in the after life! As someone up thread said, I hope you wouldn't accept an organ either and condemn that generous donar to the after life with bits missing