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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my DS learn to dive.

302 replies

Sandy11 · 27/01/2013 22:06

My DS is 16 and wants to lean to dive. He says he has found a club for beginners of his age and really wants to learn. He is quite shy and has not had many hobbies. The only problem is that the lessons would last from 4 - 6 pm on a Sunday. The centre is miles away in the city and I am not prepared to drive so he would have to go on the train. I am worried that something bad would happen to him he is 16 but I don't think as a parent I should let him travel far about an hours journey on the train at them times. It would not affect his school work but you don't know who lurks about today. He is really shy and feel guilty for not letting him do this and it is not expensive either. Am I being unreasonable stopping him?

OP posts:
Letmeintroducemyself · 27/01/2013 22:08

he is 16, yabu very unreasonable

honeytea · 27/01/2013 22:08

YABU, in 2 years when he is 18 he could be in a hostal on the other side of the world or living in a student house.

BillComptonstrousers · 27/01/2013 22:09

If you're so worried why can't you take him? And plenty of children younger than him travel into towns by train to go to school etc.

Doilooklikeatourist · 27/01/2013 22:10

Very unreasonable .
He's 16 !
More than capable of getting himself there and back on public transport .

SandStorm · 27/01/2013 22:10

YABU and hugely overprotective.

verytellytubby · 27/01/2013 22:11

I went to Kavos for 2 weeks when I was 16. You are being incredibly unreasonable. If he's shy and not had many hobbies, why on earth are you holding him back?!

CheCazzo · 27/01/2013 22:11

What do you mean you're 'not prepared to drive' - isn't that what parents do? You sound a bit crap tbh.

Andro · 27/01/2013 22:11

Your concerns are not unreasonable, but I think refusing permission might be a bit unreasonable. The times are not late for a 16yo to be out and about.

porridgewithalmondmilk · 27/01/2013 22:12

I think you are being very unreasonable sorry. Your two statements - that you are not prepared to drive him and that you are far too worried about him getting the train - do not marry at all.

thenightsky · 27/01/2013 22:12

Is it diving in the style of Tom Daley or diving as in Scuba?

My DS went off to learn scuba at 14 and it was the best thing he ever did. He's been all over the world diving now and is still only 21. Nothing bad has happened yet! Life is for living.

thegreylady · 27/01/2013 22:12

YABVU-this would be a way to help him with his shyness,make new friends and increase his fitness.You are not prepared to drive but he is prepared to go by train.Does he ever do this train journey at other times? Does he have a friend who would want to go along? how about you going with him on the train the first time and go off for a coffee till he has finished.
Please let him go.

Lexiesinclair · 27/01/2013 22:13

YABU. What verytellytubby said. The poor lad.

JustAHolyFool · 27/01/2013 22:13

I left home at 17. YABU.

Feminine · 27/01/2013 22:14

I think you need to let him try. Its hard letting them go, but there comes a time when you must. This sounds a perfect situation for you both to grow. :)

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 27/01/2013 22:14

He can get married, drive a moped, and leave home without your say so. Let him grow up Hmm
It's not like he wants to smoke crack in an alley at the back of the brothel after mugging a pensioner for the money...

NulliusInBlurba · 27/01/2013 22:14

Oh don't be so silly. No wonder he hasn't got many hobbies if this is your attitude.

pictish · 27/01/2013 22:15

Very unreasonable indeed.

To be honest OP, you have made me feel quite cross.

Original poster
Sandy11 · 27/01/2013 22:16

Tom Daley type diving. And he has never really made journeys on his own and he is quite skinny I just worry over him.

OP posts:
Feminine · 27/01/2013 22:16

Why don't you want to drive btw?

Feminine · 27/01/2013 22:17

Is he very small for his age? maybe you see him younger than his years.

That, I can see...but you need to let him try.

honeytea · 27/01/2013 22:18

Is this a joke? why would being skinny make it more dangerous?

Foggles · 27/01/2013 22:18

Worrying about your DC as they become more independent is entirely natural but you should be encouraging him to go.

It will probably do his confidence the world of good.

BegoniaBampot · 27/01/2013 22:18

I left school and was working at 16, you can get married at 16! Is he actually going to be able to put his diving into practice though? No point learning too early if he won't have much opportunity to be be diving.

BegoniaBampot · 27/01/2013 22:20

Oh, just saw your update, thought you meant scuba!

thenightsky · 27/01/2013 22:20

Oh please let him go OP. Sad

My DS was incredibly shy and friendless. I loved it when he found something he really wanted to do (scuba and karate). these two little hobbies have been a lifeline when he went to uni, otherwise he'd have been in his room the whole time.