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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my DS learn to dive.

302 replies

Sandy11 · 27/01/2013 22:06

My DS is 16 and wants to lean to dive. He says he has found a club for beginners of his age and really wants to learn. He is quite shy and has not had many hobbies. The only problem is that the lessons would last from 4 - 6 pm on a Sunday. The centre is miles away in the city and I am not prepared to drive so he would have to go on the train. I am worried that something bad would happen to him he is 16 but I don't think as a parent I should let him travel far about an hours journey on the train at them times. It would not affect his school work but you don't know who lurks about today. He is really shy and feel guilty for not letting him do this and it is not expensive either. Am I being unreasonable stopping him?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 27/01/2013 22:21

You must know that YABU - no wonder he is shy and scared of doing things! He is old enough to be married so I am sure he can catch a train! It really isn't good for him to wrap him in cotton wool and make him think that terrible things will befall him without mother!

Feminine · 27/01/2013 22:21

honey I suspect op thinks that being skinny, he will be more of a target.

I can see that, but still, no reason to stay at home.

breatheslowly · 27/01/2013 22:22

YABU - if you are that bothered about the train journey then drive him. I doubt that you ever stop worrying about your DC, but you have to live with that and let him get on with his life without your fears showing enough to curb his experiences (within obvious limits).

WorraLiberty · 27/01/2013 22:22

Why has he never made journeys on his own when he's 16? Confused

Is this the result of bubble wrapping?

He's a young man for goodness sake.

bruffin · 27/01/2013 22:23

My Dd would love to dive but there are no clubs near by that is easy to get to.
At 16 my Ds now 17 walked to my mum's 70 miles away and went on holiday for a week camping with his gf. He also had two jobs.
Its brilliant that he wants to do it himself.

Pourquoimoi · 27/01/2013 22:23

You are being ridiculously unreasonable and unsupportive of your son.

Why not support him a bit whilst he's still at home, why aren't you willing to drive him?

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 27/01/2013 22:24

Your poor DS.
I feel quite sorry for him.
He has few hobbies, yet you won't drive him to this?

weegiemum · 27/01/2013 22:24

Yabu. My dd1 is 13 next week and commutes by 2 buses right across Glasgow every day, plus gets the bus to guides at 6.30 pm. It's done her confidence and self esteem no end of good. Takes about an hour each way.
Your ds has shown initiative and interest and tracked down a club himself - well done him!

kim147 · 27/01/2013 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 27/01/2013 22:25

Even driving him is a ridiculous idea

It's an hour on a train in the evening

How does the OP think everyone else manages?

honeytea · 27/01/2013 22:25

I think you need to address him not having made any journies by himself right now because it is not great to be making his first solo journy at 16 but if you don't encourage him he might still be unable to travel alone at 26 or 46.

Feminine · 27/01/2013 22:25

Knowing quite a few 16s I think many of them didn't do masses outside the home before 16, but this is the time when they start to want to.

You need to let him.

exoticfruits · 27/01/2013 22:26

She doesn't need to drive him - he can manage a train journey!
All good practise for going away from home.

ConfusedPixie · 27/01/2013 22:26

YABVU, give him some freedom to go and a mobile phone & pocket change if you're worried!
As others have said, in two years he could be in a student house or a hostel on the other side of the world I was hostelling in Scotland when I was 16 in 2006

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 27/01/2013 22:27

Yes, YABU. I understand that you worry, I have a 20yr old DS with Asperger's, I worry about him but, you have to let go.

5madthings · 27/01/2013 22:27

Why wouldn't you let him?! My 13y old would be quite capable of an hours train journey to go to a club to participate in a hobby he wanted to.

tigerdriverII · 27/01/2013 22:28

Obviously a joke thread. 2/10 OP

honeytea · 27/01/2013 22:29

I'd go as far as to say he should be in a student house or a hostel on the other side of the world. What else if he going to do? sit at home with his mum watching tv on a sunday because public transport is too scary.

Original poster
Sandy11 · 27/01/2013 22:32

Well he wants to learn then join a proper club.

OP posts:
scubastevie · 27/01/2013 22:32

Did anyone else read it as learn to drive? Not dive? Which is quite funny considering my username Grin

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 27/01/2013 22:33

Is he called Timothy?

ladymariner · 27/01/2013 22:33

YABVVU......what a crock of shit. He's shy, doesn't get out much, has finally asked to do something and you won't let him??? And what's with the refusing to drive him? You're coming across as a really nasty piece of work....

Whoknowswhocares · 27/01/2013 22:34

Way, way too over protective! He is going at 4pm on a Sunday fgs! Not 4am for a piss up and clubbing!

WorraLiberty · 27/01/2013 22:34

scubastevie Yes! Grin

Though sadly I'm wondering if he'll be allowed to do that next year.

BluelightsAndSirens · 27/01/2013 22:35

I read drive as well Confused