To think i shouldn't have to pay HALF of the holiday, just because i have a child?

[WhistlingNun]

My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

We've decided on a self-catering Haven holiday and the total price is approx £450 for the week, including funworks passes etc. Only additional costs would be for food and transport, which we'd pay our own way on when we get there.

Anyway, my friends are expecting me to pay half - so £225 - rather than a third - £150.

They say it's because dd will count towards the price too.

I've just checked how much it would be for me and dd to go alone - on the exact same holiday - and it's still £450 - the same price.

The price is based on size and type of caravan, not how many people are in the group. And since the smallest caravan is 2 bedrooms, it's the same price.

(Hope this is making sense).

Anyway, i'm a bit peed off they expect me to pay £225 and they can just pay £112 each. They've reluctantly agreed to go thirds instead (£150) each, but have said it's just to shut me up, they're not happy about it.

AIBU?

So what are you going to do? And why would they change the arrangements?

Good idea, OP. I'm sure they will be glad you have come round to their way of thinking.

Well now whistling nun, I find it extremely difficult to believe that you are a nun as you have already confessed to having a child. But really you are just being very silly, how will they change the sleeping arrangements? Shall someone sleep on the roof, in the garden, in the bin, in the bath? How silly, I really thought that Mum's net was a more sensible place than this.

Pay per room, only fair way. You have to pay for the fun passes too so as they are included in price did you expect your friends to cover that too?

When we get there, they might change the sleeping arrangements.

i.e. if they don't want to sleep in the same bed. the twin room might be too small to share between two adults etc

OP YABVVVVVVU

They are not expecting your DD to pay, they are expecting you to pay for your child. You chose to have your DD so you are responsible for her, not your friends. All these scenarios you are coming up with are ridiculous and irrelevant seeing as you are having one of the bedrooms.

From what you have posted you can't afford an holiday on your own so they are doing you a massive favour by agreeing to go on holiday with you and halving your accommmodation costs by doing so.

Quite frankly if I were one of your friends I'd cancel going and leave you to fund your own holiday.

biff - fun passes are free with Haven accomodation. Which is why it would cost £450 of 3 of us were going or 4.

You only pay extra if using a private hire.

Op has only said she can see she is BU. Nottthat she will do anything about it. As for changing the arrangements, I think that's a red herring again. Just something to imagine is happening and get pissy about. If she's that worried she needs to point out the time a 5 year old would be in bed and insist they retire to their own rooms at that time!

What difference would it make if they are in the double room or you and dd are? I would have thought it made more sense for you and dd to share the double bed anyway

Where - my daughter is autistic, and i find it really hard to believe you'd have the audacity to ask a complete stranger if they were autistic based on a silly thread about a holiday.

Gosh OP. You may think that your friends are being unreasonable (I don't).

BUT even if they are being unreasonable, the end result of you paying half for a use of one out of the two rooms is entirely fair.

Focus on the end result rather than their reasoning if that helps you act with a little grace.

Mutt - they're concerned the twin beds might be too small for them, and the double bed might be more comfortable.

No, haven't read the thread. It's massive.

YANBU. How is a 5 year old expected to pay her share? They're mean assholes if they can't club towards the cost of her share by splitting it into thirds.

Gonna be a crap holiday if they're expecting you to pay for half of everything. Don't go with them, they either can't afford it or don't want to help. What fun is that?

OP - I really find it unlikely they'll change the arrangements. Next time you speak to them, can you not say you will pay half the cost based on you and your DD having a room? That way, everyone knows where they stand, and no assumptions are made about who's paying what, and why.

Fair enough re fun passes then but you still need to be fair re number of rooms being used, ie each "couple" using a room so therefore halving cost.

I'm also gonna reflect on this one. We've always done adults bills, e.g. Shared a cottage with another family, split bill in half, even though not equal number of children. I've never thought anything of it. Bu there is a big majority on here who divide by person not family or adult. So I am going to be careful and check my assumptions in future.

So just pick a room when you get there and dump your stuff on it. If they would really force you out of both rooms don't go at all. If it's a problem stipulate you expect a bedroom.

Actually you guys need to sit down and make an agreement on payments before going otherwise you're in for a terrible holiday where you wish you'd never gone.

I'm the one who is paying (my card) so i'll text just now and apologise, saying i'll pay half and i'll pay the deposit today to make up for it.

I admit i can be really stubborn sometimes and a bit of a twat - but definitely not autistic, WHERE.

As long as they get one room and you and your daughter get one room then it doesn't matter one little bit who gets which room.
Its still the same.