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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think i shouldn't have to pay HALF of the holiday, just because i have a child?

415 replies

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 14:45

My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

We've decided on a self-catering Haven holiday and the total price is approx £450 for the week, including funworks passes etc. Only additional costs would be for food and transport, which we'd pay our own way on when we get there.

Anyway, my friends are expecting me to pay half - so £225 - rather than a third - £150.

They say it's because dd will count towards the price too.

I've just checked how much it would be for me and dd to go alone - on the exact same holiday - and it's still £450 - the same price.

The price is based on size and type of caravan, not how many people are in the group. And since the smallest caravan is 2 bedrooms, it's the same price.

(Hope this is making sense).

Anyway, i'm a bit peed off they expect me to pay £225 and they can just pay £112 each. They've reluctantly agreed to go thirds instead (£150) each, but have said it's just to shut me up, they're not happy about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
DonnaDoon · 26/01/2013 16:59

Ill still have to feed her,entertain her and get her there and back Welcome to parenthood op :)

NynaevesSister · 26/01/2013 16:59

Sorry to chime in with everyone else but on a caravan holiday with friends, and I have done this, it is standard practice to split the bill per bedroom used. So on a hol with single friend and son in three bed caravan, DP and I paid for our room, friend for hers and half each for room that kids shared. Lots of us have done similar and per room is how it is always split even if it is all your children in that room.

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 17:00

Dizzy - your posts are making most sense to me... I'll have a think.

All these numbers etc have really confused me.

OP posts:
PureQuintessence · 26/01/2013 17:00

Then I suggest you invite another adult along to share a room with!

Mutt · 26/01/2013 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stropzilla · 26/01/2013 17:01

So you're getting pissy about a situation that doesn't even exist? They are not going to invite you again. Especially if you really think that having a kid means you pay less for your holiday because you still have to feed and entertain her.

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 17:01

Donna - my point of that quote was that my friends are taking these costs into consideration when saying i should have to half the £450. When its totally separate.

OP posts:
FeltOverlooked · 26/01/2013 17:02

Your daughter is using a bed. If she were not in that bed, maybe a fourth adult would have been asked. maybe you would have all used it for luggage and had more space... If you and your DD were not in that room, maybe your friends would have had a room each.

You should pay half as you are using half.

PureQuintessence · 26/01/2013 17:02

I think you are missing their point totally.

The caravan sleeps 4 adults, in two bedrooms each. The price divided in 4 is £125 per person. You are letting your dd room in with you, so the cost to you is the same as for two adults.

If you want it to be fair and equal then you invite another adult along to share your room, and you put your dd in bed with you, or let her camp on the floor on an airbed.

As it stands, you are letting the bed to your dd, so you pay for her!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/01/2013 17:02

Ok WHISTLE I'll make this easy for you to understand.

If your friends don't go you pay £450

If your friends do go you pay £225

See how they are saving you money?

Birdsgottafly · 26/01/2013 17:02

If your DD wasn't going then they could get another adult to jump in and they would still be paying the same.

Unless babies are involved, then you go on the head count. At 5, they are counted.

I speak as a LP (widowed). The only people who subsidise a child going on holiday is family and that is usually because there would be no other way for that child to have a holiday.

Wait until at 13 you are paying adult prices for a AI holiday.

Get over it.

PuppyMonkey · 26/01/2013 17:02

Crikey, what sane adult without kids would choose to go to Haven?Wink

Mutt · 26/01/2013 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 17:03

No, Mutt, i'm not stupid thanks.

My friends were looking for a cheap holiday. I was looking for a cheap holiday. We're helping each other out.

OP posts:
DontEvenThinkAboutIt · 26/01/2013 17:03

I have read this thread and I understand why the OP thinks it is unfair to pay half but I am still think she is BU. You get a room, they get a room - that is a fifty fifty split.

I would suggest, as the OP's friends have agreed to pay extra, that the OP either reimburse her friends or buy lots of lovely treats for the trip. A big box of goodies, wine, chocolates, cheese etc etc should help make things a bit fairer and will help make peace with your pals.

FreePeaceSweet · 26/01/2013 17:03

I understand. I've been in this situation. I paid for my frickin' kids. Jesus.

DizzySometimes · 26/01/2013 17:03

OP - as I said before (and you ignored), do you not think they may have discussed this already and decided to hold firm with the cost whatever arrangement you came up with? Perhaps they view you as being inflexible (!) and realise that you would come up with scenarios to try and save yourself some money when, realistically, you would always have a room (and they were already saving you money by going in the first place). Come on, what is the likelihood that they would expect you to sleep on the floor so they could have a room each? I have to say: given how you've behaved on this thread, I can understand why they'd have decided something beforehand and not budged. I think they've had enough of you not paying your way and decided to hold firm, and I agree with them.

You mentioned upthread you were good friends and this would blow over - I wouldn't be too sure of that, and I would consider very carefully how much this is worth arguing over given they are saving you money and how much it could damage your friendship with both these women.

MrsSchadenfreude · 26/01/2013 17:03

You just don't get it, do you, and won't be persuaded that you are wrong, even after 98% of people on this thread telling you that you are wrong. Why should your friends sub your daughter's holiday?

NotSoNervous · 26/01/2013 17:03

YANBU

McNewPants2013 · 26/01/2013 17:04

Why start the thread in the 1st place as you have decided your not being unreasonable.

If it bothers you so much, decline the invite and you and dd go on holiday on your own.

PickledInAPearTree · 26/01/2013 17:04

You should only go thirds if your friends are happy to subsidise your daughter as a favour.

They are not. Make no mistake - you are being subsidised.

DonnaDoon · 26/01/2013 17:04

Please stop it now I'm going to wet me self

oldebaglady · 26/01/2013 17:05

the £450 includes more than just the beds OP

you're not going to turn up to find just some beds on a plot exposed to the elements are you? you will also presumably have maintained&cleaned walls/rooms around the beds, and perhaps a bit of electricity, water and heating?

FreePeaceSweet · 26/01/2013 17:06

Also your friends could just not go on the holiday saving you and them over £200. Thats a win surely?

PureQuintessence · 26/01/2013 17:06

You are making a rod for your own back, you will have nobody to go on holiday with in the future when you are squibbling like this and expecting other people to pay for your dd.