in thinking that mumsnetters don't like men very much?

[examiner99]

I'm new to mumsnet and thought it would be a great place for positive mutual support, but I'm aghast at how many 'I've lost my man so let's encourage some other poor woman to ditch hers' posters there are here. People are not perfect, men or women, so why is everything the man's fault? (I am a mum by the way, in case you were wondering...)

That's a load of crap.

I have two sons. I don't dislike them at all. I love them to death.

I have a husband. I don't beat him, or feed him on stale bread and water or anything.

We hate twatty men. As should you.

Very important difference.

Nobody should feel that they have to put up with financial, verbal, physical or sexual abuse. Or controlling behaviour. Or general unending bastardidity.

What's sad is when someone is so used to it, that they don't even know that it's not right or normal.

Ha ha composhat. Op I have no idea what kind of response you were expecting to that. If you don't like the way people on here talk I could suggest some nice fluffy websites for you to try. And no, I don't hate men. So yes, YABU. X

Astonishingly dim-witted post, OP. Or was your mind blown by reading a few threads in which it was clear the poster and/or commenters actually expected some form of basic equality and mutual respect between men and women, mutual control of family finances, equal shares of domestic responsibilities and childcare subject to external working commitments etc etc?

YABU

examiner99

I like men, there are lots of lovely men out there so why any person should spend their life being ground down by an abusive partner is beyond me.

Abuse happens insidiously and becomes normalised for the victim. Its only when they post, often about some trivial irritation that it becomes clear that that they are in an abusive relationship. If I see that someone is in what looks like an abusive relationship I will say so (male or female).

To be fair to the OP, there are many threads about bad relationships or AIBU threads about bad behaviour from husbands and some responses are very negative without necessarily knowing the full picture.

What a lazy premise for a thread

Can't you think of something a bit more goady than that?

'Lost' their man....???

But if someone comes along who tells you they are being bullied, hectored, insulted, isolated, criticised etc. and asks.... 'is this normal?'.... then I think the only responsible way to answer them is to tell them that they are in an abusive relationship. The gender is of the abuser or the victim is immaterial.

YABU

ImNotDrunkIJustCantType

I am not in the habit of keeping a diary of posters and what they post about

FWIW I disagree with the op!

Actually OP your post has pissed me off, I'm married to a nice bloke, a bit grumpier these days I admit and have 3 Sons.

As I said I love men but some of the treatment dished out by the shittier males of the species to women here beggars belief.

I've not read many threads where the twat deserved a second chance for hitting his wife, or abusing her in some other nasty way.

YABVU!

I also love men, I just hate cunts. That's why I tell women that they don't have to put up with abuse (physical, emotional, sexual or financial) because I know that there are men out there who won't treat them that way. I tell women they don't have to put up with being cheated on, lied to, treated badly, disrespect... Because I think men are ace. And women deserve those men instead of the turds they feel like they have to accept.

Welcome to mumsnet, good luck, I hope mners help you see where you are wrong.

Men are people (albeit privileged people in whose interest it is to further the patriarchy, but, you know...).

Twatty and unpleasant and abusive people tend to get a pasting on MN. People tell posters to ditch female friends who take the piss probably as often as they say Ditch the Bastard.

That's a very sweeping generalization isn't it?

I mean mumsnet has thousands of posters. And from reading a few threads you have gleaned that we are all a bunch of man hating bitches?

And "lost their men?"

For one thing, there are actually posters on here who are happily married.
So that's that theory shot done in one.

For another thing, there are amazing posters on here who have left abusive relationships and are living happy lives. They give great strength and support to women in similar situations.

So, I doubt they are bitter that they lost their men.

See that, in one post your little theory has proved to be a load of shit.

HTH

I like men, my DH is in fact a wonderful man, but I don't like men who are twats. Or should I like the poor twatty menz in case it hurts their feelings?

Well that was fun... My point was that too often it seems like the FIRST piece of advice is 'get rid', when it should be a bit more 'oh you poor love... let's have some more info, let's try to see this clearly' so the poster is actually HELPED. And I'm surprised I have to spell out that I have nothing but contempt for abusive, manipulative people (men and women) and the agony they put others through...

yes it was fun. Read some more threads and you will maybe understand that you are talking rubbish.

May i direct you to the fluffy, sparkling, hubbies and bubs parenting site that way >>>>>>>>

"People tell posters to ditch female friends who take the piss probably as often as they say Ditch the Bastard."

^This.

I think sometimes MN can come across as a bit man-hating but I think that has a lot to do with the sheer volume of threads started by women in bad relationships looking for help. There aren't so many posts asking for advice about good relationships!

It is rather generalising isn't it?

And very blinkered,

And very much missing the point.

And what Cory said and Hecate (as per )

Welcome to Mumsnet, all the same. I do hope you will read a bit further and look a little deeper and see most posters for what they really are.

Can you point me to some threads that demonstrate your point, OP? Because I'm not aware of any.

OP, I can kind of see what you're getting at...and at one time I agree that quite a few threads were very much like that...but not so much now.

Of course you'll always have posters who just jump on and blindly agree with the OP without asking a single question...but that happens on threads of all subjects.

I still think for the most part, there are people who ask questions and then post considered insightful replies.

Sometimes that might mean 'LTB' but other times it won't necessarily.

You feel you have to spell it out

If you read any thread on Relationships you'll find women/men who've been advised clearly by posters with knowledge and insight into what that person is dealing with and what they're going through..

I'm still puzzled as to why the OP feels that it is because Mn commenters have 'lost' their own men (?) that they are advising other women to consider leaving abusive or unhappy relationships.

Then perhaps you should make a point of redressing this imbalance you see, wherever you see it

You know...help people, in your own way before you criticise others

Would anyone like to eat a bun or are you saving yours to throw later?