Dimwitted cousin, ill-judged pregnancy and announcement of baby shower

[BupcakesAndCunting]

Backstory here

why oh why am I setting myself up for another arsekicking?

Just got a text from cousin's mum (my aunt) as cousin does not have my number (intentionally actually) "Hi jst so u no my baby shower will be in June so dont make eny plans!" (forwarded message written by cousin)

WHAT??

So 1. You're doing a fucking save the date for an occasion designed for people to lavish gifts upon you? Hmmmm kay.... and 2. No-one can make any plans for the entire month of June, lest they miss the chance to come and shower you with gifts?

Would I BU to text back "Just fuck off"?

Bups. I think I love you. Really.

I'm sitting in a hospital coffee shop, in amongst what appears to be a amateur re-enactment of Night of the Living Dead, slightly paralysed with fear; and I've just snorted so hard my pelvic floor has wobbled.

I don't care if you're a viper of the first order, I luffs you!

dinner, hands, snob

Even funnier than Supermarket Scraps.

I havent read the whole thread because i clicked on Gordys picture link and havent stopped laughing since! I really want to send that to someone!

Bupcakes, am I detecting a Midland's twang to your cousin? Or is the text speak throwing me?

I think we all need to attend the baby shower, hunz...

I don't know which is more nauseating, your Mean Girls schtick or the fawners. Will mull it over and be sure to update you.

Yes she is Midlands!

You ok Carpe?

Bupcakes you is a mean girl.

I AGREE HEEBIEJERKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND WELL DONE YOU FOR SAYING WHAT SO MANY OF US ARE THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS DISCUSTING AND MAKES ME SICK

Whenever i see a child in Burberry i just think they look like rupert the bear.
And - as any fule kno - rupert the bear is a cunt.

..I bet the cuz is from somewhere like sneinton!

Midlands is a big place

ay it

:( at discusting.

I handle having no life/friends/utterly POISONOUS levelled at me but not discusting.

:(

"Whenever i see a child in Burberry i just think they look like rupert the bear.
And - as any fule kno - rupert the bear is a cunt."

Define "fawner" please. Someone who finds another thread funny? A brown nosed suck butt? Gosh, hope not

You fawning motherfuckers.

Thought a fawned was some sort of animal? With horns?
No?

I thought that it was a posh word for beige.

Yes. Like Mr Tumnus.

He was a fawning fawn.

no, that's camel

Your thinking of taupe Buppy

Although that might be a small deer. [confused face]

What about taupe? Or mushroom?

I think you'll find it's oatmeal bups.

A doe is a deer.
According to Julie Andrews anyway....

I'm sure a taupe is an animal.

I hated Mr Tumnus. She should have left him stone.