Dimwitted cousin, ill-judged pregnancy and announcement of baby shower

[BupcakesAndCunting]

Backstory here

why oh why am I setting myself up for another arsekicking?

Just got a text from cousin's mum (my aunt) as cousin does not have my number (intentionally actually) "Hi jst so u no my baby shower will be in June so dont make eny plans!" (forwarded message written by cousin)

WHAT??

So 1. You're doing a fucking save the date for an occasion designed for people to lavish gifts upon you? Hmmmm kay.... and 2. No-one can make any plans for the entire month of June, lest they miss the chance to come and shower you with gifts?

Would I BU to text back "Just fuck off"?

Soz cuz u r a skank and wud Nevah b seen ded wiv u lolz mwah

Fuck off is never an unreasonable response to a baby shower invitation.

Will there be a gift list?

I think she is going on maternity leave.

Maternity leave from watching Jeremy Kyle.

gosh. you're so angry. that cant be fun.

I have never been to a baby shower in my life .
Hooray.

That's the very definition of the word 'entitled '.

This "keep the date free' 6 months in advance (if there was actually a date) annoys me as much as he "so are you busy next saturday?" type question. It's so set up to MAKE you attend and gives you NO get out clause.

Although I would just be honest, as I have recently, and say "thanks so much for the invite but I'm afraid I don't attend babyshowers". Honestly is much easier!!

So if the baby shower is in June when is the 'gender reveal' party then?

Oh but you're so wrong. So, so wrong.

Being angry is FUN. You simply don't know what you're missing, Your Excellency.

Gender reveal will be done via Facebook i.e "Mah bubbahz got a fanny I sawed it on thee scan! LOL! Loadza pink then for mah princess"

Honestly that will happen.

Sorry but I am kind of with Booy on this. It's all very well to not particularly like this person but to continually slag her off seems a bit unkind.

I'm sure she has her good points too.

The thing is it does come across as snobbery, well to me it does, and I feel really sorry for her despite her not being the kind of person I'd probably get on with either.

I am very snobby, it is true. And angry.

I am Snangry.

This could all be solved if there were more pearl necklaces being given out.

aw she sounds so young though. I think you should text back "D8?"

Cortana

you mean being nasty is fun?

you do come across as quite nasty tbh.

I am. I am vile.

I am sure that you are just lovely though so here That's the moral high ground for you, duckie.

bups I would like to invite you to watch paint dry. This will take place from 1st-18th June. Please do not make any plans for those days.

Now, can you please invite me somewhere on March 8th as it is my "preggers and peng" cousins baby shower.
It's dead classy.
She asked us to only bring designer clothes coz her bub won't want eBay second hand crap and if not then money and can we also bring her a pressie coz it's hard work and she deserves it.

She certainly deserves something.......

bups I think I love you. --also enjoys being an angry bitch sometimes--

Your cousin doesn't already have 3 dcs does she because there is someone on my fb who writes exactly like that, mah princes

Will there be nice food? I will go anywhere if there will be nice food. Esp nice buffet. Check the food before refusing if I were you :)

Any thought on namez for the lil bubz Bups?

You must go buppers. You owe it to us. Regularly updates from Babeez Shower compulsory.

"Now, can you please invite me somewhere on March 8th as it is my "preggers and peng" cousins baby shower."

Oh God.

Preggerz and Peng. You should ring SS immediately.

Do you want to come to mine and help me defrost my freezer?

Please, PLEASE go. And then tell us all about it.

Snangry! I love it Am going to pilfer!

Tantrums Tis my birthday on the 8th if you want an escape route. Online party with eBay window shopping, joshing online and cups of tea a plenty for cracks and giggles. No money need to be spent!