Dimwitted cousin, ill-judged pregnancy and announcement of baby shower

[BupcakesAndCunting]

Backstory here

why oh why am I setting myself up for another arsekicking?

Just got a text from cousin's mum (my aunt) as cousin does not have my number (intentionally actually) "Hi jst so u no my baby shower will be in June so dont make eny plans!" (forwarded message written by cousin)

WHAT??

So 1. You're doing a fucking save the date for an occasion designed for people to lavish gifts upon you? Hmmmm kay.... and 2. No-one can make any plans for the entire month of June, lest they miss the chance to come and shower you with gifts?

Would I BU to text back "Just fuck off"?

Hang on. Let's clear this up right now.

Taupe - beige

Fawn - a colour or a deer. It's both innit?

Camel - a humped animal or a colour (beige)

What if there was a beige coloured deer? A fawn fawn.

Yeah but Mr Tumnus played by James Macavoy.

I would. The filthy, horned bastard.

Baby shower = Grabfest. Still if she is hard up I might feel a bit of sympathy and send something for the baby. See how you feel nearer the time. No point in getting in a furore about something that isn't going to happen till June. I've not read the thread so don't get what it's got to do with the Sound of Music.

But he had no bits bups!
I looked.
A lot.
No bits.
Like a Barbie :(

LOL at "I looked" Trying to look for Mr Tumnus's cock. You dirty madam.

Excellent. Thought it was Midlands. Reminded very much of numerous cousins I've removed from Facebook, due to crimes against basic spelling and punctuation. Bupcakes, you're a far more tolerant person than I'll ever be !

Be polite; a simple "thanks for the warning, when you let me know the exact date I'll let you know if am able to come" should suffice.

Oh I'm not tolerant, as this thread demonstrates! I am a crotchety auld hag. I only keep her on FB for sport.

I will send a gift, as is traditional. SOmething practical like a babygrow or some clothes.

Get incredibly non gender specific clothing. That will annoy her.

You are thinking of a tapir.
www.konicaminolta.com/kids/endangered_animals/library/field/img/m-tapir_img01-l.jpg

I might get something from .... Boden.

Re Taupe= Animal obs.

No no no. It has to be Marks and Spencers. Something Sensible, Practical and Will Last.

What can I say? I am a slut. Specially for centaurs. Phwoar.....

Instead of one of those tacky t-shirts saying "Future Footballer's Wife" "Future Sex Pest" etc etc I will find one that says "Future Paleontologist" or "Future Marine Biologist"

Give me your centaur horn.

Brilliant, yes. Or "Future Accountant".

Ooohhh...what about a Mothercare outfit?
Something like a navy velveteen pantaloon set?
(No I am NOT upset that mil bought me of these for my ds1. I am TOTALLY over it. Ok?)

You saucebox bups :)

"Future Paleontologist"

cuz "nah my bubz is neva guna be pale coz it'll go on da sun bedz innit"

I have been invited to a baby shower. It's being organised by the mum-to-be herself (who is actually a very sweet person) in a local pub. So, we are expected to bring a present and pay for our own food and drinks. I won't be going, although I'm quite happy to buy a present after the baby's born.

BrianCox

I would totally buy a velvet pantaloon set.

I like baby showers

BUT, I have only ever been to non-grabby showers because I am lucky to know non-grabby people/relations.

I believe one is being planned for me although I am not sure of details. I have made it clearer than daylight that I do not need gifts and I do not want people to bring presents. I would love a get-together though with LOTS OF CAKE and one glass of fizz

Bups - I plan to do a back garden dog-poo pick on several days during June, would you like me to pencil you in?

I have been invited to them in the past.
I am always - unaccountably - busy.

That's atrocious, Primrose.

In what other situation would you organise an event designed specifically for your sole benefit?!