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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why anyone cares if other mothers choose to feed their babies breastmilk or formula.

320 replies

honeytea · 10/01/2013 22:21

I am a new mum and have only recently come across the breastfeeding/formula feeding debate.

I breastfeed my DS because it is free and he is growing well and it is easy I don't think we would leave the house if i had to think about bringing steralised bottles and milk with me

I like other people's babies but I can't say I have an opinion on how other women feed their babies, so long as the baby is fed it is really nothing to do with me.

Why do some people care so much about what a baby eats? There are so many things in the world to get angry about, starving children, children with freezing homes, abuse horrid horrid things but so many people seem to get het up about well loved children drinking formula.

Am I missing something?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 10/01/2013 22:22

because it gives them a holier than thou attitude and a way to try and make people feel inferior..

TheBrideofMucky · 10/01/2013 22:23

^ as above. I bfed my two. Who wants to touch me? Grin

McKayz · 10/01/2013 22:25

They're bored? Have no life?

I don't really understand either. I've done both FF and BF. Am I hated or am I ok? Confused

polkadotsrock · 10/01/2013 22:27

I kinda wonder about this too. I breastfed ds but wasn't breastfed myself and I'm pretty sure I'm ok. Does seem to get lots of knickers in lots of twists...

AngelWreakinHavoc · 10/01/2013 22:28

Since joining MN I have always wanted to ask this but didnt dare!
I bf and ff so I am with McKays on this. am I hated or am I ok? Grin

MrsApplepants · 10/01/2013 22:29

Yanbu, I can't understand it either. I wish other people and their babies long and happy lives but couldn't care less how they feed them. I have enough business of my own to mind!

PoshCat · 10/01/2013 22:31

I breastfed mine because I am primarily quite a lazy made and didn't fancy fart arsing around with making up bottles, sterilising, the/cost but no, I have no idea why anyone else would give a rats arise about how anyone else feeds their kid as long as they do feed them.

MrsKeithRichards · 10/01/2013 22:31

Some people are very passionate about breast feeding and its benefits (which can't be denied) and have and it their mission to spread the word. It's a very emotive topic, people can be defensive when made to feel that they've done something wrong. Some people get quite offensive and can't seem to promote one option without belittling the other.

PoshCat · 10/01/2013 22:32

Rats ARSE even. The breast v bottle debate bores me to death tbh.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 10/01/2013 22:33

at a population level it is a public health issue with implications for health of mothers and their children

but at a personal, individual level? what works for each family works for each family, IYSWIM

SPsFanjoIsAsComfyAsAOnesie · 10/01/2013 22:33

I couldn't give a shiny shit what people do

edam · 10/01/2013 22:34

I don't mind how people feed their babies - their babies, their choice. I do care about multi-national corporations that make big bucks misleading people when they are making important decisions at a vulnerable time in the lives. I think those corporations should be honest and open, especially on something as fundamental as the sole nutrition available to the new baby.

I care especially about despicable sales tactics that rely upon duping mothers in countries where formula manufacturers know their products are downright dangerous - Nestle dressing up their salesforce in nursing uniforms in developing countries for instance.

edam · 10/01/2013 22:35

Basically what BALD said moments before me far more concisely!

BoysAreLikeDogs · 10/01/2013 22:35
PoshCat · 10/01/2013 22:36

I don't think the benefits are that spectacular but no doubt someone will be along in a minute with some long winded and tedious research to prove me wrong.
Perhaps I should change my opinion to "formula is a very adequate alternative if you can't or don't want to BF."

catgirl1976 · 10/01/2013 22:37

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

threesocksmorgan · 10/01/2013 22:37

yanbu. in rl people are not so judgemental. but on mn they like to make themselves feel better by putting others down.
never got it myself.

tilder · 10/01/2013 22:37

I don't get it either. I made a few innocent comments on a bf:ff thread a while back and was amazed by the responses. Its quite sad really as people post looking for help, support, advice, whatever and get some quite unexpected replies.

LilyVonSchtupp · 10/01/2013 22:37

I've never come across the BF & FF debate. Does it really happen?

HilaryClinton · 10/01/2013 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointythings · 10/01/2013 22:38

I don't get it either - I bf both of mine because I'm too lazy to do bottles I had buckets of milk and found it really easy. I have friends who really struggled and changed to ff and felt really judged about it, which was Sad.

I think bf should be promoted, but only hand in hand with major investment in support for bf mums - as in, people you can speak to within 24 hours who really know what they're talking about and are properly trained. It's so pot luck at the moment - I had a fabulous midwife who really got bf and showed me how to manage my overactive let-down and my DD1's Dyson suck. Without her, I might have given up. Everyone should have that service available, and then we can talk about 'nudging' people to choose bf. But it should be a nudge only - we have to trust women to choose what is best for them and their babies, and then we have to make that choice work for them.

DeepRedBetty · 10/01/2013 22:38

What Edam said. And BALD!

I can't stand any sort of holier than thou attitude and sadly the BF/FF debate does seem to bring out the very worst aspects of that mindset.

larks35 · 10/01/2013 22:42

The only reason I think bf is good is because for me it was easy and meant I could get out and about and didn't have that initial faff of sterilising stuff and could immediately pacify my dc when needed. What others choose to do has never bothered me in the least. Especially as I ate all sorts of things and often had more than one glass of wine while bf.

Both my DC have been ff too as I've had to return to work and there was no way I was going to express milk in a hectic secondary school environment!

I think this whole debate is fuelled by a few very fervant people who should just enjoy their motherhood experience and not use their choices as a weapon of superiority over others.

Original poster
honeytea · 10/01/2013 22:43

People are not as passionate about other social health issues like the amount of alcohol the population drink or the high use of cars instead of walking. When you have a new baby it is such a lovely time but I think lots of women feel really delicate I think it's sad that women are judged at such a time when they could do with support.

OP posts:
Pleasesleep · 10/01/2013 22:43

I think people want to promote it the same way you'd promote any health benefit. For example if you knew a way of preventing tonsillitis you'd want people to know about it right? And be supported and informed enough to use it? You might not care a lot if they actually did it but you'd want to Make sure they knew what they were doing and weren't being pushed into it by lack of knowledge or advertising.