To not understand why anyone cares if other mothers choose to feed their babies breastmilk or formula.

[honeytea]

I am a new mum and have only recently come across the breastfeeding/formula feeding debate.

I breastfeed my DS because it is free and he is growing well and it is easy I don't think we would leave the house if i had to think about bringing steralised bottles and milk with me

I like other people's babies but I can't say I have an opinion on how other women feed their babies, so long as the baby is fed it is really nothing to do with me.

Why do some people care so much about what a baby eats? There are so many things in the world to get angry about, starving children, children with freezing homes, abuse horrid horrid things but so many people seem to get het up about well loved children drinking formula.

Am I missing something?

"Their bodies are perfectly designed to feed their babies and we have been sold something that is worse."

Unfortunately some bodies don't appear to have got that memo. Neither do some babies.

I think part of the problem is that some people see things in very black and white terms. "BF is healthier for the baby and mother therefore FF is unhealthy"

When it's more that BF is healthier and FF is not as healthy. Which doesn't mean it's harmful.

It's kind of like saying, fruit is healthier than bread there fore bread is unhealthy.

It's a sliding scale, not an either/or situation.

In an ideal world all mothers would breastfeed successfully. It's not an ideal world though. And formula is a good (albeit not great) alternative.

I totally back anyone who wants to make sure new mothers are informed fully and supported/helped with BF. That's fantastic and commendable. Same goes for those who dislike the way large manufacturers are able to push their money making agenda over the welfare of the babies.

But those who talk about FF as if people are poisoning their babies? That's just being stupid.

I failed to bf after 3 hard weeks but I can see how it is better if more babies were bf. The savings to the NHS alone would be amazing. We should all care about this issue far more not less. That doesn't mean making me feel guilty for ff though.

If everyone cared more about establishing really high levels of bf that would be great for our nation.

Despite what happened in my situation Im all for bf if it's right for mum and baby. Im sure there are health benefits for some however i think a baby thrives when its mum is happy. A mum pushed into bf because it's better for society / others think she should who simply doesn't want to will not make for a happy, settled baby. Each to their own.

Great point babooshka. Well made.

Who talks about formula as if it is poison?

"it's very important that her needs, feelings and expectations are taken into account".

Well that's true in relation to a whole load of things we do as parents - parents emotional needs count too.

It's just in relation to baby feeding that the debate on mumsnet is SO one sided and exclusively about adults.

Nobody is saying that a mother's needs should be disregarded. Only that discussion of her feelings and needs should be balanced by an EQUAL discussion and consideration of her baby's quality of life, development, and short, medium and long term health needs.

I think as well, the anonymity of the internet enables some people to point fingers at other people to make themselves feel better...without the finger being pointed right back at them.

So for example if someone I knew in RL started banging on about how dreadful FF mothers are for not giving their child the best start in life, I might be able to say "Excuse me? Didn't you smoke during your pregnancy?" Or "Weren't you overweight when you deliberately conceived your baby?"

It's so hypocritical to put your baby at risk in one way and then bang on about people choosing not to BF.

If MN had a mirror or a link to poster's real lives, I'm positive there would be some very red faces from those who proclaim to give their babies the 'best start'.

StarlightMcKenzie

Nobody. The word poison is banded around so much - always in the context of people saying "formula isn't poison". I'd love to know who actually says it is. Big bugbear of mine in these debates.

I don't give a shiny shit about it. I deeply don't care.

I BF'ed as it worked for me and I was to lazy to do bottles. That's all.

I also don't care where other people send their DCs to school

'Im sure there are health benefits for some however i think a baby thrives when its mum is happy. A mum pushed into bf because it's better for society / others think she should who simply doesn't want to will not make for a happy, settled baby.'

Exactly. A woman should bf because it is the easiest, healthiest, accepted and supported option, not because she is strong, determined and lucky enough to overcome the substantial, judgemental and unnecessary obstacles.

Probably been said already, but -

I don't give a shit what anyone chooses to do. Their baby, their choice, formula isn't a life or death choice in this country in any way. We are lucky.

I do care when someone wants to breastfeed and then is given shit support and told utter lies about their options and what is happening with their body. I accept that some people have genuine supply issues and that topping up is necessary, but not nearly to the extent that most HCPs seem to believe. I'm sure the problem is lack of time and money, as per usual, but it still makes me mad.

I care that formula is pushed in totally inappropriate ways in developing companies just to make money. There are communities where this has caused devastation and it should never have been introduced there in the first place because it's just not a safe or viable alternative to breastfeeding. That's the reason that I care about seemingly harmless things like advertising - these companies have proved that they are irresponsible and selfish, so why give them any leeway at all, they should ban all advertising completely. Forget these pointless guidelines that we have - the companies illustrate their selfishness and lack of morals again and again by flouting the guidelines because they know the ads will run until they get pulled, I don't get why they keep being allowed to do this

Murder - if formula use results in more babies being hospitalised, or needing a gp appointment, then I think it is fair to say that ff is harmful for some babies!

"formula isn't a life or death choice in this country in any way"

It is for some preterm babies who are vulnerable to NEC.

And breastfeeding may be a life or death choice for some women, given that a small increase in breastfeeding at a national level would result in hundreds of fewer cases of breast cancer.

Murder - if formula use results in more babies being hospitalised, or needing a gp appointment, then I think it is fair to say that ff is harmful for some babies!

How do you know it's because they were FF?

There are far too many other things to take into consideration.

Couldn't give a toss. And in truth all the supposed "benefits" are not obvious.
There are BF babies who have alergies, there are ff babies who do not. BF babies get gastro enteritis, many ff babies do not. There are bf babies who grow up to be obese, ff babies who don't. and so on.

And once babies get past that stage it's really not important how they were once fed, no, it really isn't, just as long as they were fed.

Murderofgoths, I agree with much of your post, except your food analogy would be possibly better represented as fresh milk vs dehydrated, sweetened, processed milk powder. (rather than fruit vs bread)

shag I do wish you would stop banging on about the breast cancer thing because you are not up to date with the latest findings.
Breast cancer comes in millions if different mutations and only a very tiny number of cases could be avoided by feeding.
It's a very dangerous point to keep pushing.
There are many many factors which predisposition a woman to b cancer.
Stick to the breast feeding discussion please.

Life iot death ffs

Actually the admissions to GP and hospital during the first six months is predominately formula fed babies, and for D&V almost exclusively - which is mainly down to incorrectly made formula, unfortunately.

"A 4% lowering of risk doesn't sound much. But, as breast cancer is quite a common disease in developed countries, breastfeeding every child for an extra 6 months would mean about 1,000 fewer cases of breast cancer in Britain each year."

from the cancerresearchuk website

My brother was breastfed and he is overweight, has chest issues and has a weak immune system.

My sister who was formula fed has none of the above.

this is how we should all be feeding babies formula or great milk

"Murder - if formula use results in more babies being hospitalised, or needing a gp appointment, then I think it is fair to say that ff is harmful for some babies!"

It would be interesting to know how many of these hospital/GP visits for FF babies are because of harm caused by the formula. Rather than parents not following guidelines, or babies being generally sickly (which might actually be why they are FF rather than BF). I know DS was at the hospital a lot at the beginning because he just wasn't getting enough breastmilk, so we were having to top up with formula. It would be quite easy to take a simplistic view based on tickboxes alone and say, "DS is FF. DS is Ill. Therefore, FF = Ill." It's logical and yet wrong.

It's just in relation to baby feeding that the debate on mumsnet is SO one sided and exclusively about adults

That's probably because sadly women feel the need to defend themselves and their individual reasons for FFing.

Lets face it if you don't have a medical reason for not BFing you are considered either uneducated and don't know any better or utterly selfish by a lot of people.

I personally trust that the majority of women will make the right decision for their babies and themselves in their individual circumstances.

Agree with sir and unfortunately too many people are given incorrect advice regarding safe preparation of formula.

I stumbled across a group on fb the other day and the number of people who were advising to make up the formula with cold water was shocking

They couldn't read the instructions on the side of the tin?