To not understand why anyone cares if other mothers choose to feed their babies breastmilk or formula.

[honeytea]

I am a new mum and have only recently come across the breastfeeding/formula feeding debate.

I breastfeed my DS because it is free and he is growing well and it is easy I don't think we would leave the house if i had to think about bringing steralised bottles and milk with me

I like other people's babies but I can't say I have an opinion on how other women feed their babies, so long as the baby is fed it is really nothing to do with me.

Why do some people care so much about what a baby eats? There are so many things in the world to get angry about, starving children, children with freezing homes, abuse horrid horrid things but so many people seem to get het up about well loved children drinking formula.

Am I missing something?

I was referring to the fact I like working for big companies and it is a little unrealistic and sixth formy to believe all the anti capitalist stuff you hear. I have a close relative in one of the boycotty companies and they don't exactly sit around in board meetings wondering what to do about these boycotters (although some of the emails do give them a giggle).
When I lived in Bangladesh, pretty much all of the women I encountered lived on a diet of white rice and MSG and salt filled savoury sauce and McDonalds and nothing else ever. And you think they should be forced to BF? Jeez, if a woman in Putney admitted to eating a Mars Bar while BF some of these people would huff and puff and say how irresponsible she is.

I couldn't agree with you more, SamSmalaidh. The lack of access to support, combined with the emotional pressure that some HCPs felt the need to heap onto me pre and post-natally was not a winning combination.

I think it should be entirely the choice of the mother how to feed her child.

My issue is that lack of help easily available to new mothers irrespective of how they choose to feed. If a mother needs someone sat with her for 2 hours helping her feed then that should be available (in an ideal world I know)

I think it's down to hormones.

It's why everyone has a pfb, there little treasure just looks so beautiful and is so clever that no one else's can be this good. And why normally calm reasonable women would happily stab a paedophiles eyes out (when they woudn't happily stab another murderers eyes out) . And why parents can't believe that their little treasure can do any wrong eg bullied another child at school.

So not doing what is proclaimed as best for their baby is unimagineable and so those that don't are made to feel failures and those that do smug.

YorkshireDeb I do volunteer my time to help women struggling with BF.

I run a peer support group, an online support group for local parents, and am involved in a project that offers home support visits to new mothers struggling to get started with BF.

I would go into hospitals as well but our local hospital claims there is no need and no room for volunteer BF supporters. Funny because they have room for the flipping Bounty woman and their BF support is frankly horrendous (having been on the receiving end of it myself!)

Anyway. As loads of others have said, I don't care how individual women choose to feed their babies. But I care very much about how corporations are undermining their right to make that choice based on facts, and I care that women are being so dreadfully let down by professionals who should be helping them.

We can all come up with anecdotes to support our own position.

Of the 8 babies born into our family in the past 14 years 3 have been breastfed either exclusively (mine) or mainly (niece) and 5 have been formula fed.

Of the 3 who were breastfed illness and hospital admissions for ear/chest infections and D&V have been unheard of. The 2 mothers of the other 5 children had to give up work because they spent so much time in and out of hospital with so many 'minor' illnesses.

Can this be attributed to BF/FF? Who knows.

However, breastmilk is something that the body makes naturally and tailors to the needs of the developing baby whilst formula milk comprises chemicals designed to mimic breast milk. I'd rather choose natural over synthetic given the choice anywhere.

I do think there should be more support. And, as someone said far upthread said, I've never passed a comment on or to anyone FF in RL but I've had plenty of snippy and snidey remarks from people over my BF including from one of the FF parents in my family. The other one said she wished she'd given it a go but no one in her family had done it, none of her friends did it and she didn't receive the right support in hospital.

No one should be made to feel bad about their choices but people should be making truly informed choices.

Oh what a shame, I thought this thread was going quite well until that comment by gimmecakeandcandy about women not caring enough.

Seriously, stop starting these threads. What the feck do they achieve apart from wind insecure people up?

I would be interested to know - taking all feeding choices out of the equation - to what extent genetics influences child health? Surely illness/health cannot solely be influenced by feeding alone?

I had 'support' from a bf 'coordinator' she was militant and upset me beyond belief.

The day the doctors in the hospital told me to stop bf and expressing for tube feeds) because of my meds (after DS had been in intensive care for a week with unexplained organ failure) i rang the guru to explain that i wouldn't need her 'help' anymore. She arrived at the hospital, told me that the doctors were wrong and that there was no link between my meds and him being ill. She patted DS and said 'we know that mummy's milk is best don't we'

Cow.

Queenoffarkingeverything you are a wonderful woman.
Wish you'd been there when I was in hospital. x

still don't get it.
why the fuck do people care so much about how other people feed their babies.
really?
in my world it is more important that they live than how they are fed.
still most of dd's freinds are tube fed anyway

I would have loved to have gone into hospitals to help with BF support too, did the course and everything and then they said I couldn't because I was receiving support from the children's centre for a totally unrelated issue :(

I'm not receiving support any more but now I'm working and studying I don't have time - what a waste.

I don't care how people feed their children. You do what's right for you.

However, I will agree with certain people that breastfeeding does have quite a few benefits for baby and mum that formula cannot give. But this in no way means a woman who formula feeds her baby is doing anything wrong or unnatural.

I did child care and part of another higher course I did explained the difference to me about bf and ff, I made an informed decision for myself.

Incase anyone cares I ff my son, even knowing all the benefits I couldn't or should I say refused to bf him. For me I made the right decision.

I think woman should be informed properly on both and then left to make their own decisions. People should not be pressured or made to feel wrong if they do not bf.

A big to you too bertiebotts. x

I care.

But not as much as I care about people stopping smoking for example, loosing weight etc

And I don't care on a personal level as a friend, then I just care the BF or FF is the right decision at that time for that family.

I care on a population level.

But I'm a Dr in a GP practice.

Bertie - that happened to my SiL. She trained as a peer supporter, went above and beyond with background reading and put her all into the course. Then she was told that as she had PND and was getting help from SS due having a disabled child, she wouldn't be suitable to help in the BF support group.

I'm a bf supporter and can honestly say that i don't give a shiny shite how other women feed their babies. What I do care about is the poor advice, lack of support etc that many women get when struggling to feed. I also care deeply that many women are made to feel guilty about their choice to ff, when in fact often times it is because of this lack of correct advice and help in the early days. Yes breast milk is nutritionally superior to formula, but then again, home cooked organic food is preferable to baby jars or other processed foods and I don't see women getting is lather over how others wean their babies.
I'm not a militant, and I hope I don't come across as one, I just try and give the correct information based on current research that allows women to make an informed choice on how to feed their baby, and to support that choice whatever it may be.

Sorry for the rant. Twatty - Im not saying all are militant - mine was and she was misinformed, superior and hurt me when i was low. I maintain it should be each to their own.

I don't understand either OP. I've known people who have done one or the other or a mixture of both. Why should I care how they choose to feed their babies?

However, I chose to bf because I wanted to, had read the supporting research and felt it was best for my baby. I didn't do it because I was lazy either and there were times I was desperate to go out and couldn't as neither of mine would take a bottle. I found it bloody hard work. It's something I'm glad I was able to do though and I'll miss it when DS2 weans.

Sorry, I don't believe 'public health' is the real motivator for a lot of people in this debate.

It's like any evangelical group -- they are all working for a higher cause, naturally. Religious evangelicals are trying to save everyone from hell, rabid environmentalists are trying to save the planet, and so on.

I do understand the anger over formula companies' practices in the developing world. I think a lot of the angst over FF in the UK is overblown, especially considering all the much more serious public health issues out there.

I mean seriously, if you want to reduce breast cancer deaths in the UK, campaign for better screening and reduced waiting times for biopsies and treatment, better access to drugs, etc. Isn't that likely to be more effective than getting everyone to breastfeed, which may or may not make a difference decades from now?

I care because I got a text from one of the girls from NCT looking for a bit of support regarding breastfeeding. I admitted DS got a bottle of formula each night as each day I reached breaking point. She said she was worried about nipple confusion, I said I'd hit a point where I didn't care.

It's all very clandestine. I didn't admit what I was doing at coffee as I didn't want to hear any more from the holier than thau course leader.

Then there's the friend who was a touch sheepish telling me she'd stopped BF at 5 weeks as she knew I planned to go at least a year. I care that it crossed her mind I might be one of "those" women and judge her.

This is the stuff that rattles my cage!

And anyone who says women who FF don't care enough about their babies can fuck off, quite frankly.

I combined fed both my babies. DS is 1 years old and still breastfeeds during the night. No one ever told me off for formula feeding, I think all the people who oppose it are confined to the Internet.