To not understand why anyone cares if other mothers choose to feed their babies breastmilk or formula.

[honeytea]

I am a new mum and have only recently come across the breastfeeding/formula feeding debate.

I breastfeed my DS because it is free and he is growing well and it is easy I don't think we would leave the house if i had to think about bringing steralised bottles and milk with me

I like other people's babies but I can't say I have an opinion on how other women feed their babies, so long as the baby is fed it is really nothing to do with me.

Why do some people care so much about what a baby eats? There are so many things in the world to get angry about, starving children, children with freezing homes, abuse horrid horrid things but so many people seem to get het up about well loved children drinking formula.

Am I missing something?

sp ds2 was the fattest 4-6 month old I've ever seen and was bf, how he got that big when 5 weeks prem I don't know

God knows worra it seems people don't, and too many women then pipe up with well I made mine up 24 hours in advance and dc was fine or mine only ever had it made up with cold water

So many of them seem to think that its because of harmful things in the water, rather than it being due to the bacteria in the formula

moomin he is now 18 month and wears clothes in 2-3 and 3-4. He has had every illness going from been born. Bern breastfed til just over a year didn't prevent anything.

Haven't read the whole thread properly, but here goes;

Breast feeding is dull as shit, been doing it for 14 months. I can't possibly imagine anyone other than me would be excited at this.

Formula is synthetic breast milk (like insulin for diabetics) therefore baby food.

Can anyone prove absolutely, without doubt, the benefits of breast milk over formula? Everyone says it's there, but I've never read an undisputed, peer reviewed study that shows it has long-term health benefits.

Breast is best, but not always possible. Therefore, not always best?

Just in case my post came across as weird, I'm very much "as long as you feed your baby"

It's not the caring. People should care. Always. Sad state of affairs if they didn't.

It's the grinding down into powder of the vulnerable new mothers and those whom for physical/medical reasons just couldnt do it that is horrible. The relentless, emotionless, dogmatic point proving that is utterly horrendous to see. Data after data, link after link. Accuracy not an issue. Tenuous link to the very evils of ff? No matter. It all gets piled on until you know that there are mothers at home, behind the laptop, crying with guilt and frustration. I've seen MNers pouring their heart and soul out about the guilt they feel and the pain they and their DCs went through and others doggedly ploughing on, obviously thinking they are winning their crusade by chipping at this poor woman until she cracks.

So yes, people really should give a shit enough to inform the uninformed and support those in need but the revolting way in which some people treat others in the name of "what is best for baby" is devoid of all emotion and distasteful.

Just to say though that I know there are some absolutely lovely posters on here who are gentle and supportive and informed and capable of empathising. They are sadly outnumbered.

Personally I've not seen people judging FF vs BF specifically

I've seen a lot of people state facts about health benefits of breast feeding, but I don't think that's "anti formula", just trying to give people information.

I've seen people judge lies about why they are FF (eg. encouraging myth that its common to not produce enough milk), and I've seen a few people judge breast feeding past a certain age.

But other than that I haven't seen any interfering comments about feeding choices, unless I'm just unobservant?

In my 3 years on MN and my 2 failures to establish bf'ing I generally found support and advice on MN.

I have read a couple of threads where a couple of posters got ridiculous about bf but my general feeling is that, those few aside, MN is somewhere that the participants care very deeply that bf is a good thing but don't tend to vilify a woman who doesn't end up bf'ing.

But then most threads are about failures to bf. Perhaps the 'nasty' pro bf'ers only come out when it's a woman who has chosen not to bf as opposed to tried and failed?
Or maybe I'm subconsciously avoiding threads and posts which vilify ff'ers due to my own hang ups about my failures?

I'm my small toddler group with babies around the same age as my dd, 1 mother in particular who is very pro bf, co sleeping etc used to harp on about how wonderful bf is, breast is best, formula is completely wrong etc. I always remember her saying in the early days that it was only babies who were ff that ended up over weight and ill. She hit out one day with 'obesity begins with formula' which really made me angry.. My dd who was ff from 6 weeks has never once been on ab, yet her dd is now on her 5th prescription in 15 months. Every other month she has a chest infection or ear infection.

Health benefits? I struggle to see them

Mummy I bet she's popular with the group!

There are health benefits to breastfeeding, but it's more along the lines of the child might get better slightly quicker than they would have without the antibodies from breast feeding, rather than the child will get better quicker than a formula fed child. Like a slight top up on the child's individual immune system rather than an illness barrier.

Antibiotics can really mess with the immune system too though, my friends DS had that problem, the more he had the AB's the more often he was getting ill, and the more often he needed the AB's again!

...And Co-sleepings not all she seems to think it's cracked up to be, I'm getting shoulder ache reaching over sprawled out DD to type...

Yanbu. I'm sure a small percentage is about society health, but I think in truth it is a small amount, with a large amount masked as society health.

My mother was ff, she died of cancer @ 63. My father was bf, he died of a heart attack at age 55. My friend exclusively bf, her children are plagued by severe allergies and asthma, I exclusively ff, my son has mild asthma issues, but nothing like hers. My cousin bf until age 3, her son now has asthma, is obese, has ADHD, manic depression and you name it.

Sorry, in everyone I know no one seems better or worse off from bf or ff, studies whatever.

Superiority? Yes I think a high percentage, but not unlike any other decisions for our kids. And guess what? It never stops. Just wait until we're asked if our kids are married, and then if we have grandchildren and then what University they are going to. Give me men any day. They could give a True flying fig.

For all the pro-breastfeeding women who like to tell us formula ladies about the benefits - WE KNOW! You giving us more facts & statistics isn't going to change things. The vast majority of pregnant, first time mums intend to breastfeed. And yet a number of them end up using formula instead. Do you really think this is because we've forgotten all the reasons that were preached to us during pregnancy? We're not that fucking stupid you know. Maybe some of you would like to volunteer your time in hospitals, supporting new mummies who are struggling like hell to do what they've been told is best for their baby? Because no other bugger is there to help us. No? Well then, thank your lucky stars that you & your baby were able to breastfeed successfully & shut the fuck up about it. X

Because they are clever and we are stupid, probably all vote conservative and read the daily mail and need to be taught the error of our ways by the real women. Or alternatively because they are sanctimonious idiots with too much time on their hands and no life outside mummying. I hate the smugness, it isn't a big deal, I am a businesswoman, I like big companies.

But it is only a few twats, most people on MN genuinely are not interested how people feed their child (they have a life).

Isn't it a bit like the weather? It's an easy thing to talk about when meeting other mums. I'm asked quite often if I bf. I don't care. I couldn't imagine ff, just because of what I perceive to be a lot more work to do.

Theodora, you can be a business women and bf or ff you know! That's kind of irrelevant! I'm glad I don't know any women like the ones you describe....do they really exist?!

I think breastfeeding is better if you want to do it,also its the lazy option as you dont have to make bottles or pay for it etc

In rl no one even cares a teeny minority of mums breastfeed instead of formula feed. I dont think its even that common for mums to even attempt bfing to be honest

Also I think bfing is seen as weird,alternativea nd old fashioned ffing is the 'normal' option

I completely disagree. Every single mum I know tried breastfeeding. Not one of them thought it was weird, alternative or old fashioned. Is this what you think or is this your perception of ff mums? Ff is a choice & let me say from experience it's a bloody hard one to make when people tell you how much better bf is for your baby. I know people who've carried on in misery, with sore & bleeding nipples. I know people who've listened to their babies screaming with hungar while they continually tried to satisfy them by putting a breast in their mouth. I made me little boy cry & scream & fight against me again & again as he tried to get my breast out of his mouth. We don't switch because it's more cool, or because we can't be arsed to try. We wish we had the chance to feed our babies in the 'best' way & beat ourselves up because the 'choice' we make is therefore not the best. And we'd really appreciate it if people stopped trying to make us feel like shit all the time. X

I have ffed 1 and am bfing 1. It is rare to do it and lots of mums never try it.Noone thinks its weirdvtonff as thats what everyone does but its more of a topic of conversation now Im breastfeeding as its just not the normal way.

Every mother I know has tried to bf. most have succeeded. I'm definitely in the minority amongst my peers in having not established bf twice now.

My polish friends all bf as its free but no one else really does it.Most take formula to the hospital with them.

I went until 7 months admitting to it but I definitely wouldnt now at ten months.At 7 months I was getting comments of family and friends about havent I trained her to only take milk from beaker yet but it has been hard at night and I am lazy so my husband said it was probably time to keep it a secret as its not worth the hassle.