To be pissed off with ds (he thinks i'm just looking for a reason to argue and spoil his time with gf)

[lesjules]

Ok so went upstairs to living room this morning after ds (17) and gf had gone out for the day, I was looking for the table mirror that is supposed to be kept in the kitchen as that is where everyone uses it, I was off to shops and needed mirror to make myself presentable.

This mirror is fairly old so doesn't hold itself tight and needs something behind it to prop it to whichever position is needed, It's usually in the kitchen with a plastic bowl behind it,

I walked into my living room and the mirror was on the coffee table so I picked it up not knowing that it was being propped up by a full glass of pepsi, the glass went flying and landed on the coffee table so the floor and wall was covered with broken glass and pepsi. I phoned ds and asked him why he had put the glass behind the mirror and he said that it wasn't his fault, it was mine as I should have checked what was behind it.

I told him he was unbelievable and hung up on him as I was speechless. since then ive had numerous texts saying it wasn't his fault, it was an accident and I'm trying to ruin his time with gf ( she lives a fair way away ) so she is staying for the week.

He say's im just looking for an argument and want to embarress him in front of her but i'm not, when I texted back saying if they needed the mirror upstairs then he should have put something safe behind it he came back with, "it was an accident, get over it" I am fuming.

He doesn't see her that often and I don't want to spoil their time or come across as a moany old cow but I don't feel I can let this go when they come home later just because she is here,

I know the minute they walk through the door he will be all happy cos he's with her but am I in the wrong to bring it up again or should I just leave it to avoid an argument?

'When I texted back, saying it wasn't my fault, it was his, and he should have put something else behind it'

Um, yuh. She wasn't at all involved the text debacle. Not in the slightest. I mean, she just turned her phone off and the Ds kept on and on bombarding her, she didn't take part and all. Nor does she have any intention of firing the first salvo in ww3 when they crack the back the door on their way in later... Oh no.

Hopefully the op will be off to work tonight, and will find something more important to fuss over.

BS, he would probably have apologised if the OP had not attacked first but for most people, especially teens, going on the defence is an automatic reaction.
So they both need to calm down and accept that the accident shouldn't recur.
Bit of thought, bit of perspective.

Actually this thread is very entertaining in a mad sort of way.

But then I can afford to be entertained as my DCs no longer live here.

I think they both may have purloined a mirror when they moved out ...

BS I was the one who said assertive and still think it was.

The leaving a glass in the living room and the accident are 2 different issues. Telling him /when he was back at home about clearing up after himself is one thing (and making him do it, why on earth is the OP doing it anyway?)
But making him responsible for the accident was out of order (I think we more or less all agree on that), having a go at him about it on the phone wasn't on. And I wouldn't be surprised the OP was actually quite aggressive when she rung.
So when he said 'No it the accident wasn't my fault' he was right and assertive.
Seriously I don't think the OP would have ever done anything like this if it had been one of her guest and the fact it was her ds that was involved doesn't allow her to react ion that way.

Did you indulge in text wars about it usual?

Or did you just mump a bit then put it behind you and move on having learned from it?

That was tongue in cheek by the way.

I feel your pain usual, literally.
DS wears gigantic black army-type boots. It's like tripping over a slab of rock in the dark. But he's just made me more tea, so I'll forgive him for his hazardous footwear.

My DS has boat-sized feet which took up the whole room.

We had endless free space when he got his own place!

I don't understand the physics of this situation. How was the glass of Pepsi balanced that it spontaneously went flying across the room when you picked the mirror up?

Some of you may find this thread entertaining but I do not, You do not know me or my family and after allowing his gf who I have only met once before stay for a week, I was very dissapointed at the way he spoke to me,

He put me in my place, it's not my fault, it's yours,get over it They will be coming back to a clean tidy living room tonight, I won't be here as I will find somewhere else to go, I do not want to argue and embaress him but I cannot pretend that his words andattitude havn't upset me,

I am going to leave the thread now admitting that I was unreasonable to call him and to do my hair in the kitchen.

DD is home for the holidays. I'd forgotten her cooking style involves all sorts of gadgets and pans and crap. Everywhere.
Yes, she'll wash up eventually.
Teenagers eh.
Such trouble, such torment, such inconsiderate behaviour to their poor old mothers whom they should respect and honour.
Cut him out of your will OP, leave him only the mirror to remember you by.

They won't care if the living room is clean and tidy. Warm and welcoming matters more to most children and teenagers and visitors.

Oh dear.

OP has flounced.

at "leave him only the mirror to remember you by"

has he never been short with you before , teenagers can be cutting sometimes My dd could cut you down with her sharp tongue sometimes , no need to go off out it is just prolonging the drama , say to him when he gets in Oiy you watch your cheek a lift your bloody glass while im at it , then leave it so much drama and chaos over a spilled glass,

I get why she is pissed off I would be but I think she over reacted to the incident its just all been blown out of proportion

Yes he must be a decent young man if OP gets so upset about a fairly minor response. My dd has been known to cut me to the quick before with some tongue lashings she has meted out. She'd have thought she had risen above her station had I been openly upset though. I used to find rolling my eyes and questioning if it was pmt was the quickest way to get her to stomp off

It's that he isn't properly grateful for her letting the gf stay that's at the root of this, I reckon.

"I have never understood why people dry their hair, or put makeup on in the kitchen or living room! "

Because for some bizarre reason in this country you can't dry your hair (& do your make up ) where the rest of the western world do......In the bathroom because for crazy UK regs don't allow power points in bathroom.

The rest of the western world don't have this issue to my knowledge

you sound like bloody hard work. its just a glass. get over it.

Actually, OP, I do not think YABU at all. Leaving the mirror propped up against a full glass of Pepsi was irritating and would have had me chuntering under my breath all day. Telling you to "get over it" rather than apologising when you pulled him up on it is bloody rude. Yes it was an accident, and yes you're maybe overreacting a teeny tiny bit by ringing him to shout at him for it, but he should have apologised rather than speak to you the way you said he did.

Even at my most arsey teenagery moments, I don't think I dared speak to my mother like that.

And I do think OP's son was incredibly rude, I would have been seething not only at his stupidly at using a glass (of anything), but his attitude and rudeness to his mother is beyond acceptable.

I can't believe most of the responses on here think the OP was OTT.

Her son's response was out of line and unacceptable.