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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with ds (he thinks i'm just looking for a reason to argue and spoil his time with gf)

196 replies

lesjules · 29/12/2012 15:31

Ok so went upstairs to living room this morning after ds (17) and gf had gone out for the day, I was looking for the table mirror that is supposed to be kept in the kitchen as that is where everyone uses it, I was off to shops and needed mirror to make myself presentable.

This mirror is fairly old so doesn't hold itself tight and needs something behind it to prop it to whichever position is needed, It's usually in the kitchen with a plastic bowl behind it,

I walked into my living room and the mirror was on the coffee table so I picked it up not knowing that it was being propped up by a full glass of pepsi, the glass went flying and landed on the coffee table so the floor and wall was covered with broken glass and pepsi. I phoned ds and asked him why he had put the glass behind the mirror and he said that it wasn't his fault, it was mine as I should have checked what was behind it.

I told him he was unbelievable and hung up on him as I was speechless. since then ive had numerous texts saying it wasn't his fault, it was an accident and I'm trying to ruin his time with gf ( she lives a fair way away ) so she is staying for the week.

He say's im just looking for an argument and want to embarress him in front of her but i'm not, when I texted back saying if they needed the mirror upstairs then he should have put something safe behind it he came back with, "it was an accident, get over it" I am fuming.

He doesn't see her that often and I don't want to spoil their time or come across as a moany old cow but I don't feel I can let this go when they come home later just because she is here,

I know the minute they walk through the door he will be all happy cos he's with her but am I in the wrong to bring it up again or should I just leave it to avoid an argument?

OP posts:
sarahseashell · 29/12/2012 15:33

It sounds a bit petty to me. You've made your point, let it go now. YABa bit U

cansu · 29/12/2012 15:35

It was an accident. He obviously did not booby trap the mirror to trick you so I really do not see why you are in such a state about it. Yes it's annoying but hardly worth a huge argument.

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 15:35

Gosh.

At least it wasn't red wine eh?

Was there a dead wasp?

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 29/12/2012 15:36

It was an accident, they happen, let it go.

MrsKeithRichards · 29/12/2012 15:36

Are you serious? You broke something, you called him to tell him and blame him?

Let it go.

Buy a new mirror.

I thought you were going to say you found the mirror covered in coke not propped up with Pepsi

WinklyVersusTheZombies · 29/12/2012 15:37

He didn't think but you didn't look and you knocked the glass. Time to get over it.

theotherboleyngirl · 29/12/2012 15:37

but it was an accident! it's really not worth the drama. Clean it up, move on...

MrsKeithRichards · 29/12/2012 15:38

And maybe it was his girlfriend that placed it there and he doesn't want her feeling awkward about placing the mirror incorrectly?

Cortana · 29/12/2012 15:39

You knew it needed something to prop it up when you use it. Not unreasonable to assume he would have done the same. You should have checked what thing thing was. YABU.

BigBaubledBertha · 29/12/2012 15:42

I wouldn't make a big deal of it personally. Yes it was a really stupid thing to do on your DS's part but on the other hand your DS is probably right that you should have checked what was behind the mirror holding it up, given that it wasn't in its usual place.

If it were me I would let it go after telling him that yes, you should have checked but can he please make sure that he doesn't use inappropriate things to prop the mirror up with and that he puts the mirror back where it belongs when he has finished with it. I know it made a big mess but it was just one of those things and not worth falling out over. Once the message is delivered I would leave it. He clearly knows he is in the wrong if he is protesting his innocence that much but the same could be said of you for not checking what was propping it up - you are making more of a deal of it than needs to be made. I think you are both being defensive and need to let it go.

Bogeyface · 29/12/2012 15:43

Have any of actually been spoken to like you are shit by the person you feed and clothe and house? I wonder what the reactions would be if you had! Or where you all such charmers when you were 17?

It wasnt an accident, it was thoughtlessness, compounded by a total lack of apology on behalf of the DS. "Get over it"?! You think thats ok for him to say to her? Really? He fucked up, caused a situation that need never have happened including broken glass everywhere because he didnt give a toss. His attitude is not my mirror, not my mess, not my problem. I would be fucking fuming too.

OP YANBU and I would suggest you text him the dimensions of the mirror so he can buy a new one while he is out.

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/12/2012 15:43

Everything about your post sounds odd. Why don't you get a new mirror for the bathroom?

Chottie · 29/12/2012 15:43

I thought this was going to be about cutting coke too, not just about a broken mirror. I would let it go too.....

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/12/2012 15:44

Annoying, but I think yabu, I don't think I would of phoned my ds up either. Sorry

lesjules · 29/12/2012 15:47

Ok I accept that I prob was being unreasonable to call him and have a moan but in my defence the mirror shouldn't have been upstairs, I went looking for it and picked it up, The mirror is still in one piece, I think it was just him saying it was my fault that has pissed me off,

Seriously out of all of you who would prop a mirror up with a full glass of pepsi ( why pour it if you don't want it ) then leave it behind a mirror knowing full well that other people would need said mirror that day.

I had no other option but to clear up the glass and stains as we have a cat who i do not want walking on glass, it may have been an accident but one which could have been avoided with a bit of common sense.

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 29/12/2012 15:47

FFS this seems like a lot of fuss over one broken glass!

YABU. Your DS was right, you should have checked behind it.

If it was me, I would have effed and blinded to myself at the time, and might've mentioned it to DS when he came home later if I hadnt forgotten about it then. I certainly wouldn't have phoned there and then to berate him!

WorraLorraTurkey · 29/12/2012 15:48

I can't believe you actually phoned him up about it...what was the point in that? Shock

And then to top it all, you hung up on him like a petulant teenager.

Chill out. He put the drink behind the mirror without thinking and you moved the mirror without thinking to look.

No-one's fault.

sarahseashell · 29/12/2012 15:49

jeez what are you going to do turn back time? Confused no-one has died, it's just a bit of broken glass these things happen

TheNebulousBoojum · 29/12/2012 15:50

If you'd moved the mirror and propped it up in a similar fashion, and DS had broken the mirror, then phoned you up ranting about it and blaming you, would you have apologised profusely?
Would your OH treat you like that?
It was an accident, shit happens. Yes, I do think you're looking for a fight with him, the question is why?

lesjules · 29/12/2012 15:52

Bogeyface seems to be the only one who can see why I'm annoyed, It happened but his reaction and passing the blame on me is what has pissed me off,

OP posts:
diddl · 29/12/2012 15:52

Oh come on-propping something against a glass of coke-how fucking stupid is that??

Why hadn´t it been put back where it belongs?

If I have read correctly, OP is letting her son´s GF stay & he tells her to "get over it"??

They could both get over themselves elsewhere if that´s how I was treated.

sarahseashell · 29/12/2012 15:54

it's hardly the crime of the century!

chill pill needed IMO

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 29/12/2012 15:54

I also wonder it was the gf that did it, and he's trying to protect her.
And that she feels awful now, and doesn't want to come back.

LuluMai · 29/12/2012 15:55

I think the moral of the story is that you need to buy more mirrors for your house.

whistlestopcafe · 29/12/2012 15:56

Your ds does have a point. It was your fault.