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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with ds (he thinks i'm just looking for a reason to argue and spoil his time with gf)

196 replies

lesjules · 29/12/2012 15:31

Ok so went upstairs to living room this morning after ds (17) and gf had gone out for the day, I was looking for the table mirror that is supposed to be kept in the kitchen as that is where everyone uses it, I was off to shops and needed mirror to make myself presentable.

This mirror is fairly old so doesn't hold itself tight and needs something behind it to prop it to whichever position is needed, It's usually in the kitchen with a plastic bowl behind it,

I walked into my living room and the mirror was on the coffee table so I picked it up not knowing that it was being propped up by a full glass of pepsi, the glass went flying and landed on the coffee table so the floor and wall was covered with broken glass and pepsi. I phoned ds and asked him why he had put the glass behind the mirror and he said that it wasn't his fault, it was mine as I should have checked what was behind it.

I told him he was unbelievable and hung up on him as I was speechless. since then ive had numerous texts saying it wasn't his fault, it was an accident and I'm trying to ruin his time with gf ( she lives a fair way away ) so she is staying for the week.

He say's im just looking for an argument and want to embarress him in front of her but i'm not, when I texted back saying if they needed the mirror upstairs then he should have put something safe behind it he came back with, "it was an accident, get over it" I am fuming.

He doesn't see her that often and I don't want to spoil their time or come across as a moany old cow but I don't feel I can let this go when they come home later just because she is here,

I know the minute they walk through the door he will be all happy cos he's with her but am I in the wrong to bring it up again or should I just leave it to avoid an argument?

OP posts:
SecretSquirrels · 29/12/2012 15:56

Seems like a lot of fuss about not much. You actually broke the glass, not him. Even if it was him I wouldn't make such a big deal of it.
Are you angry with him about something else?

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 29/12/2012 15:57

It was an accident, possibly a little thoughtless but not spiteful and not worth phoning him up about. Ds smashed a full jar of mustard on boxing day through sheer exuberance of spirt. Things happen. He is defensive because you are on the attack and it was you who knocked the thing over.

curiousuze · 29/12/2012 15:58

I have never in my life heard of a 'table mirror' that has to be shared by an entire household, and family members are forbidden from moving it to a different room. So much wtf.

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 15:59

I'm betting it was the girlfriend too actually.

And no, he shouldn't have told you to "get over it" but equally you shouldn't have hung up on him in the first place.

You both sound very grumpy.

crypes · 29/12/2012 15:59

I reckon your getting stressed out about your ds and g.f and anything is tipping you over. Are you on tenterhooks around them. Praps their getting serious in a relationship and its upsetting you.

Original poster
lesjules · 29/12/2012 16:00

I called him cos I was fucking pissed off as I was just on my way out to shops, had to go looking for the mirror and had to deal with broken glass and pepsi all over the living room, why should I have had to check behind it, he is 17, not 7,

If the gf did it then he should have just said 'sorry mum' not told me to get over myself.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 16:00

We've got mirrors in every room except the kitchen.

Problem solved.

DrRanj · 29/12/2012 16:01

Ha! What was the dead wasp one again? That was one that I do actually remember reading myself! Can't remember the details but I remember it was crazy!

Sorry op but yabu. Accidents happen.

princessporgie · 29/12/2012 16:01

Lol my mother was petty , but I agree with the rest , let it go or would you prefere to be lonely as your only pushing ur ds away

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 16:02

Well, if he knew you were in a bad mood it's natural he went on the defensive.

It's Rule 2 subsection iii) of the Teenagers Handbook.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 29/12/2012 16:02

Yes, the lack of mirrors in your house is very odd.
Who keeps a mirror in the kitchen propped up by a plastic bowl?
It's also the only room in my house that doesn't have a mirror.

tzella · 29/12/2012 16:03

I imagine that him leaving stuff lying around is a recurring theme, him being 17 and all and I suppose this counts as a final-ish straw. I'd try not to go overboard though.
And while I'm generally on the side of "Don't give a fig what other people think!" in this case his gf might well be concluding that you're a nutjob Sad

TheNebulousBoojum · 29/12/2012 16:03

Oh no suze, I can imagine that happening in my house with ease, including needing to be propped up. Grin
Combination of poverty and laziness in our case. We just don't rant and froth when someone else has moved something, or put strange things in the fridge that get used in error, or stacked stuff in odd places, and accidents happen.
Our house is full of potential booby traps.

Tee2072Thing · 29/12/2012 16:03

I agree it was a stupid thing to prop the mirror up with and I see why you're mad.

But I think you were a bit OTT calling him about it and to still be mad.

However...go buy a new mirror that doesn't need to be propped up!

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 16:04

Do you live in my house LBE? Grin

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 16:05

Dun elm mill probably has a sale on.

Original poster
lesjules · 29/12/2012 16:05

lol a table mirror is a mirror that is not fixed to a wall, some people have them on a dressing table, it is a decent sized mirror than can be moved around,

we have large mirrors in both bathroom and all 3 bedrooms but the light is better in my kitchen so we including my dd 19 usually blowdry our hair and apply our make up in the kitchen with this particular mirror as that is where it,s

OP posts:
ll31 · 29/12/2012 16:05

You broke glass .. end of story as far as I can see. .. buy a mirror u can hang on wall. .. and chill!

WorraLorraTurkey · 29/12/2012 16:07

Put yourself in his shoes.

He's out for the day with his GF when all of a sudden his Mum's on the phone ranting about a table mirror and a smashed glass of Pepsi...she then hangs up on him after embarrassing him.

"It was an accident, get over it" is a perfectly acceptable reply to someone like that imo.

TidyDancer · 29/12/2012 16:07

Well the way he spoke to you was out of line, but I am a little bit sympathetic to him since you phoned him to blame him for something that was your fault and you hung up on him.

You are mostly to blame for this situation escalating, so really I think you need to let this go now.

And buy more mirrors.

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 16:07

Well you need a cheval mirror then.

sarahseashell · 29/12/2012 16:08

maybe OP having trouble replacing table mirror with unbroken version as no-one has ever heard of one? Could you construct some sort of prop for it OP? eg from wood or empty coke bottle filled with sand or summat? (oops sorry for mentioning coke Grin)

IslaValargeone · 29/12/2012 16:08

I'm with the let it go brigade, but would also suggest you channel your energy into buying some non shonky mirrors that don't need propping up with plastic bowls. Rather inevitable that there would be an accident at some point with that kind of set up.

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2012 16:08

I found a nice pic on google but I can't do links on the iPad.

curiousuze · 29/12/2012 16:08

I inherited about 17 mirrors when we moved into our house (it was actually a bit creepy how many mirrors there were nailed to every wall! ) so I suppose I'm used to there being loads of them everywhere. The thing we don't have is a pair of scissors - we have to use my tiny nail scissors for everything it's ridiculous.

But the outrage about this accident is way out of proportion - if I was the son I'd be out viewing rental flats with my girlfriend right now...