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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked that in 2012 there are women who iron their dh shirts?

202 replies

SmileyPenguin · 21/12/2012 17:50

Chatting with some other mums this afternoon it emerged that two of them iron their dh shirts. Not as s favour as they were ironing some of their own shirts, but because their dh expects it! Confused

I admit, I seldom iron my own clothes, I choose ones that don't need ironing, or if its a shirt I'll do it for myself, I'd do dcs when they're older, but no way dh, he can and does do his own, he wears a shirt everyday so has a few...

Aibu to believe in this day and age men should be doing their own ironing and also their share of housework? do I live in a feminist bubble?

OP posts:
Purple2012 · 22/12/2012 13:05

I just don't understand why it would be a cold day in hell before you would do something for your partner.

Does your partner never do anything for you? If you are making a cup of tea do you not make one for them.

I like doing things to make my husbands life easier, he likes doing things to make my life easier. We all have our strengths. Why not use them.

motherinferior · 22/12/2012 13:12

Why on earth should ironing be a strength of mine just because I've got boobs and ovaries?

.

Ummofumbridge · 22/12/2012 13:14

Haven't read the whole thread but YES!! YANBU!
I think this all the time!
May I add to this list women who make their DH packed lunch for work, women who get up early to 'see DH off to work', having DH tea on table when he comes in.
Ffs women get a grip! My DH is not my child!! I don't even iron my own stuff so I'm certainly not going to start doing his!
If I feel like doing something nice for him or he's in a rush and I have time then maybe ill do stuff for him. We make each other a cuppa, I generally make his tea because he's at work and I'm at uni so home more than him. Sometimes it makes sense. But I have friends on fb who moan 'oh I was in bed when I realised I'd forgotten to make DH lunch/iron his shirt'.

Purple2012 · 22/12/2012 13:18

Motherinferior. Where did I say it was a female strength? My husband is better than me at ironing, but I do it when I am the one with the time off. He is better at cleaning. So he does the majority of it. I am better at cooking so I do all the cooking - and I enjoy it.

I am not forced to do it, it is not expected of me. When one of us is at work and the other at home it is expected that the person at home does the cleaning/ironing etc. If we are both off we share it.

Some people sound so resentful to their partners and doing things for them.

PackItInNow · 22/12/2012 13:20

Why are you shocked about this? Did you not realise that some women still do iron their DH's clothes and do their washing?

I iron most of my family's clothes because I hate being bored. DH lets me get on with things because he knows better than telling me to sit down and relax. I am incapable of relaxing unless I'm asleep or under a GA. Those are the only times I am truly relaxed.

KitCat26 · 22/12/2012 13:59

I iron DH's shirt if we are going to a wedding or funeral, usually in exchange for him wrestling the DDs into their car seats. Fair exchange imo.
I suspect I would feel much more strongly about it if DH wore a suit to work every day, as it is I don't iron much at all.

valiumredhead · 22/12/2012 14:01

I never iron anything Grin

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 22/12/2012 14:04

Why on earth should ironing be a strength of mine just because I've got boobs and ovaries

Who said that? I don't think anyone did.

Why on earth should I avoid the iron, when I like ironed clothes because I have boobs?

Why do people have such an issue with women who do stuff for their dhs.

is that not what marriage is, a partnership?

vintageviolets · 22/12/2012 14:10

YABU to be shocked.

I Iron.
He cooks.
I clean.
He hoovers.
We walk the dog separately or together.
We both work hard all week.
We do absolutely nothing some days.

< who cares >

Longdistance · 22/12/2012 14:12

I never iron my dh's shirts. He wears two a day, one for work, and a t-shirt when he gets in. These all end up on the floor, so he ends up doing his own washing too. He's not a teenager btw, this is a man who's 40 Shock after telling him several times its unacceptable to leave dirty clothes on the floor, he still does it. So I've stopped getting involved in his mess, and leave him to it.

motherinferior · 22/12/2012 14:29

I don't particularly want to 'do things for' my partner. Certainly not his ironing Confused.

In fact I did ask him at lunchtime if he'd like it if I did his ironing. He boggled at me and said why on earth would I do something like that Grin

Sallyingforth · 22/12/2012 14:37

Ironing?
I don't take my clothes down to the river to wash them, and I don't iron them either.

CordeliaChase · 22/12/2012 15:13

I find ironing therapeutic. My DH is a truck driver, and doesn't see the point in ironing his shirts. He takes them out the tumble dryer (creased!) M&S throws them on under a jumper. I am a bit OCD about ironing so spend ages on a Sunday digging my way through the ironing pile.

Tarenath · 22/12/2012 15:23

YABU Different things work for different people. When both DH and I were working we shared the chores: I washed, he ironed, he cooked, we both cleaned, we both did the food shopping.

Now he's working 13 hour days and I'm not working so I'm happy to take on more of the housework. He's still responsible for ironing his work shirts though, partly because he's just better at it than I am and partly because I wont be responsible for ruining his expensive shirts!

The way I see it is a partnership. I keep the home in order and he brings in the money so we actually have a home. I keep things in order so he comes home to a stress free environment making all of us happier and him more likely to do well at work, gain a promotion, more money etc.

CPtart · 22/12/2012 15:24

I iron my DH shirts. He does other chores.

You are "shocked" by the idea? Why are you even remotely bothered?

You have too much time on your hands!

BadLad · 23/12/2012 05:49
Blush

May I add to this list women who make their DH packed lunch for work, women who get up early to 'see DH off to work', having DH tea on table when he comes in.

DW makes a packed lunch for me. I suppose you could say I expect it, not because of any gender roles, but because that's the way we do things at the moment. It doesn't mean she HAS to do it. I certainly don't take it for granted - having done it myself in the past, I know what a pain in the arse it is.

Same for her and the ironing, almost all of which I do.

OP, you're not being unreasonable to think men should do their fair share of the housework, but there's no reason why one partner can't do all the ironing and there still be enough for the other partner to pull their weight.

VestaCurry · 23/12/2012 06:02

When dh and I were dating, he had run out of shirts (usually sent them to dry cleaners for ironing). He had one clean one left, unironed. We were going to a concert and needed to get going. He meekly asked if I was any good at ironing as he wasn't. I said I didn't do ironing for other people but would make an exception. I was presented with his lovely grey Dolce and Gabbana shirt which looked great on him. I burnt 2 very large holes in the front of it. No further requests to iron anything in the last 14 years.

MrsMelons · 23/12/2012 08:42

Vesta did you do that on purpose Shock?

3ismylot · 23/12/2012 08:48

I iron my dh's work shirt every morning but in return he does packed lunches for himself and the 3 kids every morning he also sorts out breakfast for everyone while I sit with a cuppa.
If I am not working on an evening he comes home to dinner on the table but over Christmas he will cook the entire time and also cooks every weekend.
He does all the bins, most of the washin/drying (which I then put away) and goes and does the shopping every saturday morning.

I am far from a downtrodden housewife and if anything he probably does a bit more than me so I have absolutely no problem ironing him a shirt!

foreverondiet · 23/12/2012 08:52

YABU - as long as both partners happy with arrangement - eg maybe the DH does the cooking, or works very long hours out of the house, or sorts out all the bills and the DW happy to do ironing. Maybe he is happy to pay cleaner but DW would prefer to do it.

Ironing is best chore as can watch tv while doing!

mindosa · 02/01/2013 14:51

This is quite a funny thread. I dont iron my DH's shirts because I also work. However if I didnt and stayed home with the children, I imagine that I could drum up the energy to do 5 shirts,.

Joiningthegang · 02/01/2013 15:00

Yabu and a bit weird

"shocked"? Really

I don't mind a bit of irOning - shoot me - i also earn half the money - who cares?

Joiningthegang · 02/01/2013 15:02

Vesta - on purpose? If so how nasty and spiteful

NaturalBaby · 02/01/2013 15:07

YABU.
Doesn't your DH do any household jobs that involve your mess and stuff?

My DH does all the ironing unless I beat him to it out of guilt. He bought good quality non-iron shirts that really don't need ironing so 75% of the pile is my stuff. He's better at ironing, I'm better at cleaning so we stick to what we're good at.

littlewhitebag · 02/01/2013 15:09

Surely the division of labour in any household will differ depending on work arrangements, preferences etc. In our home i do all the shopping, cooking, washing and housework. The ironing i hate so we split it. DH sorts all the finances, does the garden and washes the car. DD does chores too. DH works long days and i work part time so i have all the chores done before the weekend so we can spend time together with the family doing fun things. It really is nobody else's business how we manage our lives and this works for us.

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