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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked that in 2012 there are women who iron their dh shirts?

202 replies

SmileyPenguin · 21/12/2012 17:50

Chatting with some other mums this afternoon it emerged that two of them iron their dh shirts. Not as s favour as they were ironing some of their own shirts, but because their dh expects it! Confused

I admit, I seldom iron my own clothes, I choose ones that don't need ironing, or if its a shirt I'll do it for myself, I'd do dcs when they're older, but no way dh, he can and does do his own, he wears a shirt everyday so has a few...

Aibu to believe in this day and age men should be doing their own ironing and also their share of housework? do I live in a feminist bubble?

OP posts:
thecook · 21/12/2012 23:37

I only iron when I want to wear something, otherwise the ironing gets left for months.

I am shocked how many husbands wear a shirt. Someone up thread has a DP who is a brickie. DP is a painter and decorator. So he doesn't wear a shirt!

TuftyFinch · 21/12/2012 23:38

I'm a bit more shocked that in 2012 people are homeless, can't afford to adequately heat their homes and don't have enough to eat.
DH had the iron last, I think he and DS took it apart for an experiment in the garden..
Nothing is ironed in this house but we don't wear crumpled clothes.

Viviennemary · 21/12/2012 23:39

I do nearly all the ironing and always have done even when I worked. Except for the odd thing. DH does a lot of the cooking which I hate. People just work things out and as long as it's reasonably fair then that's fine.

MaryShoppins · 21/12/2012 23:40

CailinDanaNo, it wasn't aimed at you. It was for the OP. I haven't read the whole thread!

DuddlePuck · 22/12/2012 00:12

I distinctly recall being about 17 and ironing my boyfriends work shirt because he was making a pigs ear of it. The relationship didn't last because he was a manipulative cock but I don't seem to have confined myself to a life of domestic drudgery. Anyone who has seen my house will reassure you that I don't do any housework!

DH and I iron our own stuff as we need it. If I remember, I wash enough clean pants to see us through a week. When I don't, our 30 min quick wash and tumble dryer is a Godsend.

I would love to be a domestic Goddess and have all of DHs shirts ironed and hung up, I just don't have the time and neither does he. If and when I am working less hours, I will probably do it because I will the have time and he won't. And maybe the bathroom will be cleaned more often than every 6 weeks. Until then, I'm really not worried about it. life is too short to poke noses into other people's housework routines.

VisualiseAHorse · 22/12/2012 00:18

I iron my OH's shirts. But they are the only thing I iron. Nothing else, unless it's needing to look nice for something.

I do it for him because he works 70 hour weeks, and I want to look after him. I also do all the night wakings with the baby, do all the laundry, washing up, hoovering etc. He works bloody hard so we can live well. He works at work, I work at making sure he is able to work.

butterflyexperience · 22/12/2012 09:15

Yabu
I do his shirts sometimes and he empty a the bins sometimes

HollyBerryBush · 22/12/2012 09:17

I iron because I cant stand my family looking like crumpled tramps if they haven't been ironed. Well, I don't iton them Grin but thier clothes.

It's all about standards.

I draw the line at scrubbing the front step and blacking the grate though Xmas Grin

MrsMelons · 22/12/2012 09:21

YANBU to think that the fact their DH's EXPECT them to do it, thats just rude. Even when I was a SAHM my DH expected nothing as he felt I was there to look after the DCs.

YABU to criticise what works for other people though. If they are SAHM and feel they want to do all the housework and ironing etc then why would it be an issue or even if they are not and it is what works in their household surely that is fine.

DH does and always has done ALL the ironing as he is better at it than me and would never want anyone else ironing his shirts anyway. I do pretty much everything else with regards to the house but we have a cleaner as I work almost full time too now.

People comment on the fact that he does the ironing in a judgey way towards me so I guess we can't win - eh?!

Indith · 22/12/2012 09:22

Sometimes I iron dh's shirts. Sometimes he does

Sometimes I iron ds1's school uniform. Sometimes dh does.

Sometimes I cook. Sometimes dh does.

Sometimes I put the dcs to bed. Sometimes dh does.

Sometimes I hoover. Sometimes dh does.

Sometimes I put the bin out. Sometimes dh does.

Get it?

Equality between sexes isn't about resolutely NEVER doing anything for the other it is just about treating each other with respect and working together. If we are going to suggest that ironing for dh is wrong if I am doing the ironing then by the same reasoning cooking his dinner when I am cooking for the family would also be wrong, sticking his laundry in the machine when doing the laundry would also be wrong. In my house we work together so if someone is doing a chore they do it for everyone not just themselves.

Lollybrolly · 22/12/2012 09:30

I iron DHs shirts, he maintains the cars. I do most of the cooking and he does most of the DIY.

Shock horror.

I dont feel oppressed or anything else negative. I would much rather do the jobs I do to help our home routine run smoothly than the stuff has to do and he feels the same.

It may be 2012 and this kind of set up sniffed at by the majority but it works for us and we are both happy - so whats the problem?

I really dont get the way others feel the need to point and sneer at other peoples set ups. Why?? Not so happy with your own? Need confirmation that your way is the right way??? Its never occurred to me to compare how my friends and other people domestic arrangements or dont work or to judge them on it.

Maybe if I was doing less ironing and more car maintenance I would have more time to dwell on these things???

KenDoddsDadsDog · 22/12/2012 09:39

I love to iron. I watch all the shit TV I have stored on Sky and make everyone leave the room.
DH does all the other housework.

CurrentBun · 22/12/2012 09:48

I wouldn't something because it was 'expected' of me. I agree with the OP on that one.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 22/12/2012 09:53

we share out the household jobs and I do the ironing as its one job I quite like. I organise to do it when there is good telly. He certainly doesn't expect me to iron his shirts in the same way I don't expect him to cook dinner.

Purple2012 · 22/12/2012 09:54

I not only iron I also do a packed lunch for my husband , even though I work full time. We are both shift workers so even if I an going to be working and he isn't I still make something for him and put it in the fridge. I just do it when I do mine, it's no big deal.

oldpeculiar · 22/12/2012 10:06

What is this 'ironing' thing of which you speak Confused

LessMissAbs · 22/12/2012 12:07

YANBU. I just can't see the point of a husband, as opposed to being single, if you have to run around after them like this. ie I want a man to be with me because he fancies me and loves me and enjoys my company, not because I iron (and cook and clean) for him.

Purple2012 · 22/12/2012 12:30

lessmissabs no-one is saying they run around after their husbands. I do things for my husband because I love him. He does things for me because he loves me.

Some of the split of jobs is traditional male/female. Some isn't. He does the heavy work, if I need something out of the loft he gets it for me as I dont like going up there.

When I was single I did most things for myself with help from my Dad if needed. Now we are a partnership we do things for ourselves and for each other. I don't do things for him because I have to, I do them because I want to. It's the same for him.

I would love to be able to give up work or go part time and do all the housework stuff so we can have a bit more quality time together. As soon as we can afford for me to go part time I will.

OrangeLily · 22/12/2012 12:34

DH irons in our house and I do the washing. Works for us. Think iv ironed a shirt once Grin

theboutiquemummy · 22/12/2012 12:38

I'm more shocked that we can be so judgmental about other peoples lives Blush if it doesn't prescribe to our world view

Annunziata · 22/12/2012 12:46

I iron DH's pants and socks too Grin

Purple2012 · 22/12/2012 12:48

annunziata I draw the line at that!! I never iron the bedding, too much of a faff. Husband does that.

motherinferior · 22/12/2012 12:55

Ah, I'm in the very small minority who thinks the OP is entirely reasonable. It'll be a cold day in hell the day I iron a shirt for Mr Inferior.

happierwithgin · 22/12/2012 12:56

Seriously???? That's your biggest gripe? Some wives iron their husbands shirts and it shocks you. I am shocked you admitted you dress like a tramp. I do everything at home because I choose to. My husband runs our
business brilliantly and provides us with an amazing lifestyle. I don't suppose you would enjoy my life and I couldn't stand yours....I care about my appearance.

motherinferior · 22/12/2012 12:59

It's not her/my biggest gripe. Just a gripe.

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