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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked that in 2012 there are women who iron their dh shirts?

202 replies

SmileyPenguin · 21/12/2012 17:50

Chatting with some other mums this afternoon it emerged that two of them iron their dh shirts. Not as s favour as they were ironing some of their own shirts, but because their dh expects it! Confused

I admit, I seldom iron my own clothes, I choose ones that don't need ironing, or if its a shirt I'll do it for myself, I'd do dcs when they're older, but no way dh, he can and does do his own, he wears a shirt everyday so has a few...

Aibu to believe in this day and age men should be doing their own ironing and also their share of housework? do I live in a feminist bubble?

OP posts:
Iteotwawki · 21/12/2012 18:27

There is a woman that irons my DH's shirts.

It's his mum :)

She likes ironing, I don't have time to do it (full time wohm with 2 jobs), DH has his hands full with 2 boys, dog, housework, chickens, running our business, laundry, shopping ... I think I cook occasionally.

Don't criticise what works for others, we're not forcing anyone to do things our way!

Tallgiraffe · 21/12/2012 18:28

I iron my husband's shirts. He chops logs for the fire.

Why would you care how we spend our time?

Merrycuckingfistmas · 21/12/2012 18:30

What's it got to do with you, get a grip op

KeepCalmAndHaveAnotherMincePie · 21/12/2012 18:37

I iron DH's shirts. He's currently doing the washing up. What's wrong with that?

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 21/12/2012 18:38

YABU to believe that men should do ironing specifically. People generally set up their domestic arrangements in a way that suits them and equal doesn't mean doing your own thing and then pulling the ladder up after you in case a person you love has a second less of drudgery than you have. I never iron, or at least very rarely. DH never does anything in the garden bar walk through it to the bin. He cooks one meal a week, I do the other 20. This isn't because I enjoy cooking but because DH is out of the house for 20 meals a week and it would be unreasonable to expect him to cook when he isn't here. I think a lot of people do have expectations in their relationships but more because past behaviour is an indicator of future behaviour rather than because they are a tyrant.

LynetteScavo · 21/12/2012 18:45

YABU.

My DH irons his own shirts because he thinks he does a better job than me, and also I "forget" to do the ironing.

Other wise we tend to to the "traditional" male female jobs. We both do what we are best at and get around to. Please don't be Shock that it's mostly me who changes the sheets on the bed, or that DH has just converted the loft with zero help from me.

Fairylea · 21/12/2012 18:45

I iron my dhs shirts. That's the only ironing I ever ever do. So what?? Sometimes he doesn't get in till 10 at night and goes out the next day at 7.30 - if I'm sitting there in the evening with nothing to do why shouldn't I do it? It's being helpful.

He does other things for me - takes the bins out, cleans up after the evening mealand loads the dishwasher... and other things. All stuff I hate doing.

So why does it matter that I iron his shirts? We are a team.

dishwashervodkaanddietirnbru · 21/12/2012 18:46

I iron dh's shirts and the kids school stuff BUT dh does all the cooking and does the main weekly food shop. It works for us so YABU

Kayano · 21/12/2012 18:47

I do all the ironing And bathroom

he does all the cooking and dishes and cat litter And kitchen

I think you are a bit dated if you think women who iron are automatically stuck in a time warp

Pagwatch · 21/12/2012 18:48

Ironing isn't a personal task. It's ironing.

My cleaner keeps offering but I don't mind ironing.
Dh on the other hand likes cooking. So he does most of that.

Collaborate · 21/12/2012 18:50

I do all the ironing in my house. I'm a man. It's no ones business the domestic arrangements I have. Why do people start threads about this crap?

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 21/12/2012 18:51

I don't iron DP's shirts. But I don't think that ironing is specifically a sign of oppression.

Muminwestlondon · 21/12/2012 18:51

My husband does all the ironing and laundry, also most shopping and dishwasher loading. I do most of the cooking and meal planning and deal with most of the school stuff and homework and extra curricular activities. I take the children to the doctor & orthodontist - he takes the animals to the vet. We tend to do the jobs we prefer/hate least. If someone likes ironing - let them!

emsyj · 21/12/2012 18:52

I don't mind ironing. It's a good excuse to watch a bit of trashy TV and my laundry smells lovely and makes the house smell nice when I iron. I HATE cooking, so DH does all that. Horses for courses innit.

Yama · 21/12/2012 18:54

The part of your op which makes reasonable is the part about their dh's expecting it (ironed shirts).

I hate any type of entitled crap.

Dh and I do much for each other to make our lives easier. Nothing is taken for granted.

IslandMoose · 21/12/2012 18:57

I pay a woman to iron my shirts. Perhaps that makes me an abuser or exploiter of women? i've never looked at it from a sexual politics perspective before, and it's clearly a real issue.

Thanks OP - I shall dispense with her services immediatelt.

Purple2012 · 21/12/2012 18:57

I shocked that it has never occurred to you to do it as it is a personal task. Do you wash your clothes separately? I would never dream of going through the pile of washing and not doing his.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 21/12/2012 18:59

I do all the ironing in our house.

I quite like it. I go upstairs on a sunday with the week's ironing and I watch tv and iron while my husband tidies downstairs and cooks sunday dinner.

Rest of the time, my husband always hoovers and does the kitchen floor. I polish and tidy. He tends to do the bathrooms. I tend to muck out the kids rooms. He does most of the washing. I do the house admin.

It honestly wouldn't occur to me to put his clothes in a pile and say here, you iron those.

everlong · 21/12/2012 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 21/12/2012 19:01

kids room. not rooms.

wishful thinking there Grin

IsaXMASbelleRinging · 21/12/2012 19:02

YABU

It would be more shocking if I left all DHs stuff and only did my own.

My DH does the dishes every night, it would be pretty shocking if he only did his own and left mine. I EXPECT him to do mine !

Pilesandsmiles · 21/12/2012 19:04

I'd rather do all the ironing because a) I quite like shutting myself away and listiening to the Archers omnibus at the same time and b) because I don't like crumpled heaps of washing hanging around. Added bonus dh only has about 4 shirts and one is easy iron....

Shakey1500 · 21/12/2012 19:06

Almost the same as HEC. I take a ginormous pile of ironing upstairs on a Sunday and warble along to the EPOS radio show. I get a huge amount of satisfaction from seeing the pile decrease (

AngelsWithSilverWings · 21/12/2012 19:06

When DH and I were both working we did our own ironing and shared all housework/cooking.

Once I became a SAHM I saw it as my job to get as much of the housework out of the way while he is at work so that once he gets home we can relax as a family.

At the weekend when we are both home we share all the jobs that need doing between us.

We are both happy with that arrangement so that's all that matters to me.

TheGreatGatsby · 21/12/2012 19:10

At my parents house my dad has always done all the ironing. He does it whilst there is a football match on that he can watch Smile