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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked that in 2012 there are women who iron their dh shirts?

202 replies

SmileyPenguin · 21/12/2012 17:50

Chatting with some other mums this afternoon it emerged that two of them iron their dh shirts. Not as s favour as they were ironing some of their own shirts, but because their dh expects it! Confused

I admit, I seldom iron my own clothes, I choose ones that don't need ironing, or if its a shirt I'll do it for myself, I'd do dcs when they're older, but no way dh, he can and does do his own, he wears a shirt everyday so has a few...

Aibu to believe in this day and age men should be doing their own ironing and also their share of housework? do I live in a feminist bubble?

OP posts:
TeeElfOnTeeShelf · 21/12/2012 19:52

What does the year have to do with it if it's just about personal chores? Or is it because you feel it makes ironing women's work?

It's not. It's just work.

And it's none of your business who does what in their house or my house or anyone's house.

If more people kept their beaks in check the world would be a much happier place.

seeker · 21/12/2012 19:54

"If more people kept their beaks in check the world would be a much happier place."

But mumsnet would be a much quieter place!

TeeElfOnTeeShelf · 21/12/2012 19:56

Not really because we could all still ask for help with our problems without being judgy about other's issues!*

*Well aware I've posted judgy stuff on MN

squoosh · 21/12/2012 19:58

YANBU op.

MistletoeAndVino · 21/12/2012 20:06

Well OP you'd be really shocked by our family then. I do all the ironing and laundry, all the cleaning, all the cooking, 95% of the childcare and all the washing up but it works for us.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 21/12/2012 20:12

However, any time I've said on Mumsnet that I don't wash DH's clothes I've been met with outrage - how could a woman not wash a man's clothes??? I've been told my husband will leave me, my children are neglected

I have to be honest, I have never seen that. Please can you link a thread? I would love to read it for the shock factor. Washing certainly isn't a 'womans' job, its a job.

seeker · 21/12/2012 20:21

I've never seen that either.

However, it does seem a bit mean spirited to put everyone else's clothes in the washing machine and not his.

CwtchesAndCuddles · 21/12/2012 20:25

I iron DH shirts - I didn't realise it's against the rules! I just don't get why some people get so het up about each doing their own laundry/ ironing etc

Our marriage is a partnership and we share the load between us. We each do the things we are better at. I'm a SAHM and carer for our disabled ds - dh works, I refuse to be made to feel I'm letting womanhood down by choosing to iron my husbands shirts!

Changebagsandgladrags · 21/12/2012 20:26

I do the ironing, he does the washing up and bins (I can watch telly while doing my chores)

GilmoursPillow · 21/12/2012 20:29

I iron DH's shirts. In fact I do all the ironing as well as the housework and the cooking.

DH works extremely hard doing a stressful job to provide us with what we need and what we want.

I still feel I have the better deal.

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 21/12/2012 20:31

I think it's rather weird to wash clothes separately.

Especially if you separate whites and all that.

Isn't it much more efficient that whoever puts a wash on puts on a wash made up of everyone's clothes?

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 21/12/2012 20:32

If I separated whites and only did my own washing I'd only get to wear my white things once every 4 weeks because that's how long it would take to get a full load worth of my white things.

DameSaggarmakersbottomknocker · 21/12/2012 20:35

I iron dh's shirts. He cleans the oven

TeeElfOnTeeShelf · 21/12/2012 20:37

I think so, Trills, except for our son who has very sensitive skin and so he's stuff gets washed by itself.

Mine and my husband's gets all bunged in together by whomever notices the last load finished!

I do, however, fold, as if I let my husband fold I'd have to iron. Grin

MuggledWoman · 21/12/2012 20:39

I iron DH's shirts. I also do the washing, packed lunches, food shopping and generally knowing who needs to be where with what. However, DH does a ton of other stuff like washing the car, remembering when it needs servicing, MoTing etc, half the cooking, keeping the house in working order in terms of fixing what needs fixing, his share of bath and bed. Surely it doesn't matter what each of you are actually doing as long as its a fairly even split?

diddl · 21/12/2012 20:39

We couldn´t afford the water for everyone to wash their own stuff separately.

nokidshere · 21/12/2012 21:03

I iron everyones clothes, including all the bloody shirts and I hate it.

But DH does all the washing and sorting and putting everything away and I hate that even more so I still got the better deal LOL

Karoleann · 21/12/2012 21:07

A woman irons my Dh's shirts - the cleaner. I tried and failed at ironing one of his t-shirts several years ago and haven't ironed anything since.
If the cleaner is on holiday the shirts go to the dry cleaner to be washed and ironed.
Some people like ironing - I don't see anything wrong with it, i do everyrhing else for DH and he earns the money. We're both happy in our roles.

Hulababy · 21/12/2012 21:10

If I was doing the ironing I would do all the ironing in the basket. I wouldn't just do my own and Dd's stuff, I'd do dh's clothes too.

As it happens dh is the one who does the ironing in this house and again he does it all - his, mine and dd's clothes.

I'd find it odd to only do my own and leave dh's in the basket.

HappyAsEyeAm · 21/12/2012 21:12

DH and I both work - me part-time (out of the house for 30+hours a week), him full-time (out of the house for 60+ hours a week).
We are both knackered. We have a cleaner and ironing lady.
He does all the money, some gardening and all the car stuff.
I do all the cooking, laundry, tidying, changing beds, social arrangements, food shopping and look after the children when he is in work.

When we are both off, we enjoy our time with our children and try to split the tasks that haven't been done equally.

So, neither of us irons. What is your judgement on us?

CocktailQueen · 21/12/2012 21:12

It's all about teamwork! If one partner is happy ironing everything, then so what? Perhaps s/he gets the best deal because his/her partner cleans all the loos or always does the bathrooms - let's not criticise other people's domestic arrangements- if they work, then yay!

Primrose123 · 21/12/2012 21:15

I do the washing, ironing, dusting and hoovering. DH does most of the cooking, loads and unloads the dishwasher, sorts out all the car stuff, mows the lawn and does the bins. Best of all, he does the early school run every morning! We share things, and it works.

SrirachaGirl · 21/12/2012 21:15

I've never ironed one of DHs shirts; they go to be laundered and pressed. I do pick them up though! .

Booblesonthetree · 21/12/2012 21:18

Do people really wash only their own clothes? Weird, the water ates must be sky high..
I wash, iron and put away everyones clothes and have only given it a second thought when reading the thread! DH does some housework but he works long hours and works hard. I'm a SAHM so I see it as part of my 'job' to do it (and to teach the DC's to learn to do it properly). I can also wire a plug, change the oil in the car and build the bathroom cabinet that is currently in the garage but frankly he can do it better and quicker. He can cook wonderfully but I enjoy cooking so I do it.
I can get through a basket of ironing with something on the tv and aglass of wine quicker than it would take him to iron 2 shirts so I do that too.
Horses for courses OP, YABU.

oldraver · 21/12/2012 21:18

I do iron sometimes my OH's shirts, the difference is he does not expect it of me and is always grateful I have done it as it means he doesn't have to. He doesn't like ironing but will do it